Supermarket misgendering by 5 yr old

[Mmunatty88]

Hi. I have a 5 year old and today we went to the supermarket for some food. Probably should have re-thought it and gone after lunch but we didn’t and he was pretty tired, hungry tbh generally not well behaved.
so, I am there trying to make the visit as quick as possible and head to the check out. I leave space for people to get by but someone doesn’t notice this and gets in-front of me. I let them know and all is fine.
relise I need a bag and while I’m picking one up, say thanks to the person who rightly gave my space back to me in the Queue. they reply with, ‘he is she!’
Im taken back and ask, ‘sorry-what?’
I am a she not a he and they said ‘he pushed in front of me!’ (speaking about my 5 yr old)

the person is clearly a women, in their 50-60s with a buzz cut and wearing a track suit.

I reply with, ‘oh right ok.’ And take my bags and go.

how should I have handled this?

1. wouldn’t have wanted to make a scene there as that would have further embarrassment for the other customer.
2. it was an honest mistake by a 5 year old who has a sister and has little care for what’s ‘for boys’ and what’s ‘for girls’.

I get where you're coming from, and I absolutely agree that it's totally normal for small children to get mixed up about things that are obvious to adults. I also agree that the OP hasn't given any indication this woman's reaction was extreme.

But ... I do think what comes across as 'clearly a woman' to a small child can often be very specific! It's not just about getting mixed up - children make rules. There are studies about it, even. A child may well tell you a doctor is a man, even if his mum is a GP and he's never actually met a male doctor. A child may swear blind that women all have long hair, even if her mothers both have short hair. And so on.

IMO it shouldn't matter how 'obvious' it is to adult onlookers that this individual was a woman. The point is that the child innocently made a comment that (seemingly) upset someone. So, the parent ought to apologise. There's no sense in assessing how much this woman looked like a man - the lesson the child ought to learn is, if you upset someone with a casual comment - even if you didn't mean to - you say sorry.

My darling oldest child now identifies as a he, and their lovely partner (6 foot tall with a beard) identifies as a she. The important thing is they are both lovely people with lovely morals. I am completely GC, but I don't want to damage communications with my child.

But I did draw the line when ds, 11 said 'is a boy now? '

@LadybirdsAreNeverHappy Isn't it far different, though, of course when small children make certain comments as to if they were made by adults? Children can be blunt and have no filter. If they realize they're "just kids" adults should not look at small children as an affront to their dignity or sensibilities in any way

Kids get things wrong/make tactless personal remarks sometimes. Sometimes they upset people. As their responsible adult, if you realise they've done this, you should smile apologetically/say sorry and perhaps make some sort of placating remark about the child's age (unless they're old enough to know better!).

It is completely different. But sometimes they can say things that hit a nerve and you can’t help that it hurts your feelings. There’s nothing you can do about it of course. I wouldn’t necessarily apologise for a small child either because it’s not deliberate. It’s never ok for someone to react as if they did it on purpose but it’s understandable if it makes them feel bad.
The OP never even said this woman overreacted. She simply said I’m a she not a he. Reading back over this it sounds like an every day exchange between people in a queue in a supermarket. It wasn’t worth posting about.