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Parenting

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Original poster

Is it selfish to send dc to school when they clearly need a break?

95 replies

upandmummin · 13/09/2022 21:02

They have just started half days in school and it's a big adjustment but their behaviour has gone downhill and I think she's just exhausted by it. Problem is I'm 7 months pregnant and also exhausted and her mornings are the only break I get a lot of the time. I have been so busy this week the house has gone to absolute shit and if she goes to school tomorrow I will have the morning to get on top of it but after a difficult day, loads of huge tantrums and a clearly very child tired I feel like really she needs a day off tomorrow to chill. I feel like I'm trying to pick whose sanity to save! It's selfish to send her in for my benefit when she needs a break isn't it?

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Luredbyapomegranate · 13/09/2022 21:04

Can you just stick her in front of the telly? If you can do that.

Otherwse send her in. Your sanity is more important

Ihatethenewlook · 13/09/2022 21:04

How old is she?

AtLeastPretendToCare · 13/09/2022 21:05

How old is this child and what year are they in?

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balzamico · 13/09/2022 21:05

If she's only doing half days then just get her to bed really early and send her in, unless her behaviour at school is poor

vroom321 · 13/09/2022 21:06

Sounds like reception age 4?

carefullycourageous · 13/09/2022 21:06

How low key can you make the morning at home? I would sack off the housework and both of you have a lazy morning, it sounds like you are both knackered.

Quartz2208 · 13/09/2022 21:07

What happens when she gets home and how old is she nursery or reception

Circleoffifths · 13/09/2022 21:07

Is she coming down with something OP?

FlounderingFruitcake · 13/09/2022 21:08

Actual school? As in Reception with half day settling sessions? If yes I’d send her in tbh, yes they get tired at the start but they have to work up to full days.

If you mean preschool then I’d probably let her veg infront of the TV for a day.

Miriam101 · 13/09/2022 21:14

Not selfish at all! They need to get used to school and it's only by doing the days that they build up stamina and get used to the rhythms and demands etc. Not great to give her the idea that it's somehow optional, in my opinion. (This is presuming she's just started Reception. Different if it's still preschool.)

NameChangeLifeChange · 13/09/2022 21:18

Whether school or preschool it’s important imo to make it very clear from the start that school isn’t optional. My children have never questioned going to school, asked to stay home etc as it’s just not an option. I have friends who’ve been more laissez faire with sick days for tiredness, days off for holidays etc and the trouble is children do pick up on it and know when to push it. Make afternoons very low key, maybe a film every day? But she needs to go to school.

crimsonlake · 13/09/2022 21:21

If it is school she needs to go in, how would you explain the absence if she is not ill?

TheYearOfSmallThings · 13/09/2022 21:22

If she's 4 and in reception I would send her in. A few hours of mostly playing are not going to exhaust her at all, unless she's unwell.

SucculentSunshine · 13/09/2022 21:23

Send her in. Children don’t need a break from school they need to be in school learning and socialising. Put her to bed earlier with plenty of rest at the weekend and after school.

yellowtotebag · 13/09/2022 21:24

If she is in reception please don’t keep her off if she’s not actually poorly. I know they’re exhausted but it takes them so much longer to settle in if there’s absences. You’re doing the right thing getting her into the routine

Megapint · 13/09/2022 21:26

She's been in school for 2 mornings & needs a day off to chill?. Is she sick? Of course she should go if not sick. Yes its an adjustment for sure but she should be able to manage more that 2 mornings without needing a day off

ThatsNotMyMuffin · 13/09/2022 21:26

Have you got anyone that could come and help/hang out with you at home tomorrow if you keep her at home. I would be leaning towards staying staying at home and having an easy rest day for her. It's important she enjoys school, especially at the very beginning. Attendance before CSA at 5 isn't official.

Moonshine5 · 13/09/2022 21:28

OP if the title of your AIBU is accurate then No I wouldn't send her in.
Tidying up can wait.

SushiSuave · 13/09/2022 21:29

I agree that you should not be keeping her at home. She's only doing mornings for this exact reason, to build up their stamina for school. I know at my school, phonics teaching has begun from day 1 and therefore she could be missing important teaching. Regardless of actual lessons she will miss out on socialising and it's really not a great start in the eyes of the school. Send her in then let her nap/early bedtime when she gets home.

DelphiniumBlue · 13/09/2022 21:31

I don't think it's a good idea for her to get the impression that school is optional. She'll only be there for 3 hours or so, she can come home and have a nap if she's tired after lunch, or at least a cuddle on the sofa.
She won't be tired in the morning, she'll be at her freshest then.

CeeceeBloomingdale · 13/09/2022 21:31

School should never be presented as optional. The settling days are important, I'd send her in and have a quiet rest of the day and early night.

Doyoumind · 13/09/2022 21:31

She needs to go to school. Although she doesn't legally need to go in, she needs to be in the mindset that school isn't optional. She needs to be there to get used to being there. She'll be doing full days soon and needs to be able to adjust to it. Why beat yourself up about it. Send her in and do the things you need to do at home.

nachoavocado · 13/09/2022 21:34

Why is it only half days? Did she go to nursery? That would be full days?

Idontgiveagriffindamn · 13/09/2022 21:38

My sons in year 5 and his behaviour in the first week of each year is pretty terrible. There’s something about fitting into a framework at school that makes him act out at home more. It passes after a week or so

carefullycourageous · 13/09/2022 21:38

Although she doesn't legally need to go in, she needs to be in the mindset that school isn't optional. Bonkers at a young age.

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