Is it selfish to send dc to school when they clearly need a break?

[upandmummin]

They have just started half days in school and it's a big adjustment but their behaviour has gone downhill and I think she's just exhausted by it. Problem is I'm 7 months pregnant and also exhausted and her mornings are the only break I get a lot of the time. I have been so busy this week the house has gone to absolute shit and if she goes to school tomorrow I will have the morning to get on top of it but after a difficult day, loads of huge tantrums and a clearly very child tired I feel like really she needs a day off tomorrow to chill. I feel like I'm trying to pick whose sanity to save! It's selfish to send her in for my benefit when she needs a break isn't it?

Do you mean Pre-school??
Can she just not have a telly day??

Why would she mean preschool? Loads of reception classes start with half days to ease them in.

If it's reception/early years you need to send her in. The half days are so they can adjust before doing full days. If preschool I would probably still send in, but it's not a big deal if you keep her off for a rest.

I'd send her to school but make sure she can just relax afterwards, and get her to bed very early. My DD was so tired for the first term of reception that she was in bed every evening by 6.30. She still loved it though.

Also, it possible that her behaviour is due not only to being tired, but to lots of changes happening at once e.g. starting school and a baby on the way.

A huge number of children are in nursery 8-6 5 days a week from about the age of one, we pander ridiculously to the start of reception, send her in!

Many of the same children are still exhausted by starting school though, as it is a much more intense environment.

Send her in.

I cannot show any kind of bend witn my kids cos they take it as the default.

Unless they've lost a limb, they go in.

This is normal when they start school (IMO they start way too early in the UK) but I wouldn't be keeping them off. Imagine what the future will look like if you present a school day as optional. My DC is 8 and even now gets shattered from school.

Keep her home. Children need to be taught that mental health days are valid sick days at home from school. You can tell too when they need it and when they’re just skiving. So as she needs the day off, give it to her.

@Discovereads a four year old does not need a mental health day after spending two mornings in reception she needs earlier bedtimes

Op hasn’t mentioned her DDs bedtime…that’s quite a leap to ignore everything the Op has said indicating her DD is physically and mentally exhausted by school and assume it’s her bedtime.

@Discovereads if she's tired to the point she's struggling she needs more sleep which means an earlier bedtime

It's the second week if term how much has she actually been in? How is her resilience to this new setting and routine going to improve if she doesn't stick with it?

assuming we’re talking reception school she has to go in it’s compulsory, they build up to hours because it’s very tiring on the child, she’ll get used to the change in pace and in turn you’ll find she actually sleeps well and has better tolerance for sitting and waiting for things, as they learn at school to gain how to keep focused for longer. It would be more cruel to keep her off, it’s no benefit to her long term teaching her school is optional.

youll find yourself with bigger issues if you pick and choose when she goes in especially as your attention is about to be heavily split looking after baby

It's school nursery half days so not compulsory, shes 3. She's not had a summer break as she was in private nursery but she's still in private nursery on the days I work but instead of being home with me on my days off she's spending the morning in school now too. I think adjusting to 2 different settings and going from 2 full days to 2 full days and 3 half days is too much. Ideally I'd drop private nursery but I just can't until I go off on maternity leave, we have no other choice.

Reception? All they do is play all day according to DD who started last week!

If you start letting her off now when she's not even in full days I think you're a rough ride in a few weeks time when she's properly tired. Send her in, plan some cozy relaxed time when she comes home, crack on with your plans.

Is she at preschool? Ir Reception?

I would send her in, unfortunately she’s got to work up to full days & yes they do get tired with the adjustment but it’s school, she can’t have time off to chill every time she gets tired.

Hang on, it's only Tuesday. Your child has just had a weekend and can't have been at school more than a couple of weeks. How are they so exhausted they need time off already?
I'd say send them in (they need to get into a good routine) and then think about an earlier bedtime and possible doctor's trip to work out why they're exhausted so easily.

It’s nursery school! Different if it was school, but she’s 3 years old at nursery. If you want to keep her off, keep her off.

If your DD is just starting Reception she needs to keep going in (and the break is good for you). Most of her class will be knackered too, especially the younger ones, so I’m sure she’s not alone. Have a word with her teacher or TA about how tired she is and they can keep an eye on her and maybe let her have a bit of quiet time. When my DD started Reception a couple of children fell asleep in class and were just left to sleep, so the staff understand. She’ll be fine, give her a few weeks. And put your feet up when you get the chance! Good luck

Tbh .. yes i would send her. Expect her to be tired. Pop her in front of Tv when she gets home..it will help her adapt.

Lack of sleep is only one potential cause of tiredness in a 3yr old.

FFS school is not child care. If your child cannot function for any reason, they should not be sent to school but kept home.

As it is nursery yes absolutely keep her home. Make the most of it being optional. It sounds like she is doing a lot of extra hours and she just might need longer to adjust. She is more likely to pick up any bugs going round at nursery if she is feeling tired/run down.