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Original poster

Don’t let husband go out alone with my 2 year old I feel like he won’t take care of him properly 😩😩

86 replies

NishaaS123 · 10/09/2022 18:06

So I have a 2 year old, I don’t let him go out with my husband alone it gives me anxiety he won’t take care of him properly he’s gone to the park with him now and when I very rarely let them go alone I have the worst thoughts of the worst happening to my DS. Is this normal?

OP posts:
NuffSaidSam · 10/09/2022 18:08

No, it's not normal.

Either there is a problem with your DH i.e he is unable to keep his child safe.

Or there is a problem with you i.e. your anxiety is preventing your husband from being a proper father and your child from having a proper relationship with both parents.

AegonT · 10/09/2022 18:10

No this isn't normal. Has your husband not cared for his son well on a previous occasion?

vodkaredbullgirl · 10/09/2022 18:10

Not normal

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FrecklesMalone · 10/09/2022 18:10

Is there any rationale to this? Otherwise sounds like anxiety which is good for no one.

Shgytfgtf111 · 10/09/2022 18:11

No its not normal. Has your husband ever given you reason to think he wouldn't be able to look after him properly?

ThinkWittyThoughts · 10/09/2022 18:11

NuffSaidSam · 10/09/2022 18:08

No, it's not normal.

Either there is a problem with your DH i.e he is unable to keep his child safe.

Or there is a problem with you i.e. your anxiety is preventing your husband from being a proper father and your child from having a proper relationship with both parents.

Well said.

It's not normal. You need to work out what is driving these feelings and one way or the other, deal with it for your child's sake.

Best of luck

Original poster
NishaaS123 · 10/09/2022 18:12

I do suffer from Aniexty and maybe I have worded it wrong I don’t stop him from taking my DS out he is very busy so rarely gets the time to take him but he has a great relationship with him always playing with him after he comes home, but whenever he does take him out by himself I just get this feeling he’s not safe although husband has done nothing that would suggest he doesn’t take care of my son

OP posts:
Thesearmsofmine · 10/09/2022 18:12

No, not normal. Either he has given you reason not to trust him or you need help with you anxiety.

TheDressinggownofdoom · 10/09/2022 18:15

It's totally not normal if DH has given you no reason to suspect DC will come to harm. It's time to work on your anxiety. Otherwise this will only get worse when DC gets older and goes to school etc.

FlipFlopShopInHawaii · 10/09/2022 18:16

Not normal. Your poor DH ☹

Original poster
NishaaS123 · 10/09/2022 18:17

Thanks for the messages guys. I will try working on my anxiety.

OP posts:
SianNotAMan · 10/09/2022 18:20

NishaaS123 · 10/09/2022 18:06

So I have a 2 year old, I don’t let him go out with my husband alone it gives me anxiety he won’t take care of him properly he’s gone to the park with him now and when I very rarely let them go alone I have the worst thoughts of the worst happening to my DS. Is this normal?

This is so far from reasonable that it’s hard to know where to start.

How would you feel if your husband was stopping you from doing things with your baby? What possible right do you think you have to do this?

Lullabies2Paralyze · 10/09/2022 18:21

My child is still a baby and breastfeeding so not apart for long but I know the first time my OH takes him out to his parents or somewhere for the day without me I will be feeling similar and not relax until they are home. I guess the more they do it the more at ease we will become?

girlmom21 · 10/09/2022 18:28

Has he ever given you reason to doubt him?

Spanielsarepainless · 10/09/2022 18:32

Presumably he is your husband's son too. You are being very unreasonable.

DarceyG · 10/09/2022 18:40

NishaaS123 · 10/09/2022 18:12

I do suffer from Aniexty and maybe I have worded it wrong I don’t stop him from taking my DS out he is very busy so rarely gets the time to take him but he has a great relationship with him always playing with him after he comes home, but whenever he does take him out by himself I just get this feeling he’s not safe although husband has done nothing that would suggest he doesn’t take care of my son

I understand this. I have an anxiety and I worry like this when my dd goes to her dads. She is a bit older too so I’m less nervous as she is less dependant now but when she was 3 etc I’d stress the whole time. It’s your anxiety, I don’t have answers because I still get those thoughts now.

Callisto1 · 10/09/2022 18:40

Do you feel that way only when your husband takes him out or is it the same with grandparents or nursery?

SuperSange · 10/09/2022 18:57

No, it's very far from normal. Your poor husband. ☹️

Idontgiveagriffindamn · 10/09/2022 19:01

You need to get some help - this is not normal.
Also you refer multiple times to your child as ‘my ds’ assuming your husband is also his father this seems to suggest you see yourself as more of a parent than him.

Aquamarine1029 · 10/09/2022 19:03

You cannot allow your anxiety to be an excuse that's keeping your child from having a proper relationship with their dad. Get help and stop undermining your husband.

Andromachehadabadday · 10/09/2022 19:03

You need some professional support. If your anxiety grows it will impact the relationship between you and your dh and both your relationships with the child.

MeredithGreen · 10/09/2022 19:05

I can absolutely see where this is coming from. You are alone with your dc 24/7 so it is natural to be “on high alert” for his safety. It doesn’t mean you don’t trust your oh but if he isn’t used to doing this you are bound to be concerned.
The only way to get over it is to allow it to happen though. Lots of people with older kids moan that their other half isn’t hands on enough but this is where it starts. I think you know you need to let him get on with it so he can learn how to do it. Acknowledge that it is hard for you and do whatever you can to get you through the time they are away.

Mariposista · 10/09/2022 19:07

Absolutely not normal at all. Get yourself serious therapy or you will push your husband away and risk having to share custody of your son. He is a parent too.

DarceyG · 10/09/2022 19:08

Mariposista · 10/09/2022 19:07

Absolutely not normal at all. Get yourself serious therapy or you will push your husband away and risk having to share custody of your son. He is a parent too.

Calm down, obviously you don’t understand anxiety.

Cameleongirl · 10/09/2022 19:10

As PP’s have pointed out, if there’s no real basis thinking for that your DH won’t look after your DS properly, it’s your anxiety that’s causing this.

They need to form their own parent/child bond, just as you have with your DS, so let them do it.

My DH does loads of things independently with our DC (now teenagers) and they really enjoy that time together. Does he always do things the way I would? No, but that’s OK. He loves them and keeps them safe.

A word of warning. One of my friends has never let her DH parent their three boys solo and in the long run, all it’s done is create work for her. She still feels that he doesn’t know how to do things “properly” and their eldest is a teenager!

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