I am a horrid mother.

[tearful]

I have to confess that I screamed at my children this morning that I hated being with them and that the only reason I was is there is no-one else to look after them. Dd (4) was very upset and said "but you always say that you love me" so I said that I do, but that I hate being with them because they are so horrible. Dh is away and ds2 (2) is truly ghastly at the moment and I spend the whole time wishing I could get away from them. the older two fight and ds2 needs supervision 100% of the time. I can't get a meal on the table or unload the dishwasher without him doing something terrible and I lose my rag with him the whole time. He has also become very aggressive, pinches/scratches my cheeks when I sit him on the loo, bites my shoulder if I pick him up - oh and new trick, when I sit him up on the loo, bends his knees back so his feet go down the bowl first. I feel like I'm going mad and, and this is the real confession, I am feeling more and more that I don't want to be their mother any more. Ds1 is 6 and not easy either. very stroppy. I have had 6 yrs of being a SAHM and it's what I have always believed is right but I have had enough. Help.

I sometimes tell my 2 boys that I will sell them on ebay and get two nice little girls instead.

I told my ds that I was sick of looking after him when he wouldn't listen to me the other day. He really doesn't seem very scarred by the experience, tbh. I do apologise for being a cross mummy if I think I've let myself down, though often he just looks perplexed and has clearly forgotten I was a cross mummy. I always tell him I love him a great deal as well. And that I always love him, even if I am cross with him and don't like what he's doing. I would probably be much, much worse if I didn't work and have my mum look after him two mornings a week, plus he sleeps for two hours most days, dh is very, very hands on and there is only one of him (until Feb, eek!). I think I'm a good mother, if I can say that without sounding smug, but I am only human and get tired and ratty and frustrated too.

I mean only one CHILD until Feb. I'm not planning on acquiring a second husband

So he isn't the 'current Mr Aloha' then?

It is so hard isn't it? They just seem to know just which buttons to press don't they?

If I don't get off Mumsnet while dh is feeding and playing with ds and simultaneously making us lamb casserole for tonight then I might soon be the former Mrs Aloha!

Hi tearful. Wise and true words from Aloha, I totally agree. You're not horrible, you're normal and they are being trying and you're on your own. I think you've got to talk to your dh about how you feel. Does he know? Does he understand what it's like to look after 3 of them with no help? Also, 4 can be a very difficult age, I was here all the time when ds was four, begging for help and advice. I was at the end of my tether. And I only had one then too. So you've got the f*ing fours at the same time as the terrible twos, eewwww! And you do like them, you just don't like their behaviour and who would? Also, sod the housework and anything non essential, can you just get in the bath with all of them or something? I'm ashamed to admit that I screamed 'I hate you' at my ds once and I so regretted it but he had pushed me to breaking point. They do know how to don't they? This day will end and you can start again tomorrow. Can you make plans to meet someone/go for a walk/something? Sympathy.

Poor you tearful, what a horrible day. Sending you a big hug because I completely understand how you feel. Ds and DD are such hard work at the moment that although i love them I really wonder why I bothered becoming a mother sometimes. Not much of the fulfilling stuff coming my way either. I feel really guilty too about not wanting to spend time with them when things are like this. But you have to remember however perfect other peoples families look we all have bad days (or in my case week. Hope tomorrow is a better day.

Actually, www, dd, the 4 yr-old, is the easiest, by far! Although I don't refute your theory on the f*ing 4's!! Ds1 has been thru' that (and to a certain extent not come out the other side) and no doubt ds2 has that delight still in store. dd, on her own, is a delight, but she gets irritated by ds1 and whines and cries.

It's really tough isn't it tearful. I screamed at ds this evening - he was just winding me up - I was trying to play the piano (for 2 minutes), and he kept bringing me this f*ing ice cream cone from ELC that he'd pulled the top off. After 20 times it became patently obvious I was not going to get any piano time (btw ds and dd had been entertained all day by us, we weren't neglecting them), then after dd went to sleep, ds started crying and crying, and I just lost it - he was about to wake dd up, and I really yelled at him. He looked really shocked, and 5 minutes later I went back and apologised, and he even said he was sorry too.

Anyway, the point of all that is that you are human. You react humanly. And it is good for your children to see you react humanly. I think it was good for ds to see the fight, then the apologising.

Can you see if you can get some time for yourself - even half an hour a day might help - where you know you are not going to be disturbed. It is so hard being a SAHM - there is a constant influx of yabbering in your ear, it can send you mad! Do you have a friend who you could do swaps with? My kids are much better behaved when they have a friend to play, and then you might get some child free time as well. Hope things improve!

My DS1 once told me that I was horrible and wicked and that I wasn't his real mummy. I opened the front door and told him to go find her and to send back my real son. (Fret not ladies, he never went. He closed the door and said sorry).