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Original poster

I've got a drunk and puking 15 yet old, what do I do?

118 replies

treesandweeds · 20/08/2022 00:36

First time this has happened, she's nicked rum and drunk it without us knowing. She's vomited all over her bed.
I can't get out of her how much she's had, she's acting sleepy but that could be cos she tired. She's been sick about 3 times.
What do I do?

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Original poster
treesandweeds · 20/08/2022 02:06

redtshirt50 · 20/08/2022 02:05

I think saying no to London would be a very harsh punishment.

Sounds like she’s done this in her own home? Rather than been out drinking and partying and lying to you.

She’ll already been feeling awful tomorrow as it is. I would say have a good talk with her and then draw a line under it.

And make her wash her own sheets / clean up her own mess.

Do you? Because shes always a good girl I don't know what to do apart from making her clean it up. That is a punishment in itself of course

OP posts:
Dobbysgotthesocks · 20/08/2022 02:12

Do you know how much she's actually drunk?
If it's her first time drinking she may not have actually drunk as much as you think. It's easy for teens to drink more than they can cope with in a very short space of time without realising how drunk they will get.
I remember a friend becoming very drunk on two glasses of wine when she first had a drink!

jellybellydancer · 20/08/2022 02:15

I agree with redtshirt50. The hangover will be punishment enough.

my teen did this a few months back and learnt a valuable lesson plus hasn’t been tempted to do it again

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redtshirt50 · 20/08/2022 02:15

I had one night where I got way too drunk at a party and my mum had to come and pick me up and I was sick in the car on the way home

this was when I was 16

I was also a pretty good kid, and was SO embarrassed. But thankfully my mum was kind and bought me breakfast in the morning (some plan buttered toast and tea), had a talk with me and then said I would need to go and clean the car / pay for professional cleaning if needed and that was that.

it was an honest mistake from me in that I just didn’t know how much drink I could handle - so I was glad that she didn’t punish me

unkownone · 20/08/2022 02:16

I think cleaning up her mess is enough. I’d honestly be more cranky at DH for encouraging her to drink at that age. I think the positive is she was like it at home and it will hopefully put her off over drinking/drinking for a while now. It’s a good opportunity to discuss this is why excess drinking is bad and what if she was out and no one was looking out for her etc.

Orangesare · 20/08/2022 02:19

Just stay up with her all night and be thankful she did the experimenting at home where no harm can come of her. Much better to learn your limits at home and she is very unlikely to get in this state elsewhere

OzonoffS · 20/08/2022 02:27

I'd be more upset with your DH tbh.

Nat6999 · 20/08/2022 02:37

Don't give plain water, it will just come straight back, flat lemonade, coke or weak squash, make sure it is full sugar. The sugar will help her body absorb it, Lucozade Sport is good as it has electrolytes in it to help with dehydration. In the morning get some food in her, whatever she will eat.

scarletisjustred · 20/08/2022 03:17

I remember sneaking whiskey as a kid. I poured myself a decent glass - no effect nonsense with soda - took a swallow. I felt like I'd swallowed a lit match. I've never touched spirits since. At least she learnt this lesson at home.

Rottenpumpkin · 20/08/2022 03:30

BeeEllEyePeePeeEye · 20/08/2022 00:42

Clean her up as best you can, give water if she'll take it, stick her on her side and probably stay up most the night worrying about her. Then in the morning when you're exhausted and she's hungover give her the riot act and make her wash anything puked on and not give a fuck about her hangover (while passing her the paracetamol/banana/full fat coke)

I hope you're joking about the riot act/not giving a shit about her hangover crap....

Rottenpumpkin · 20/08/2022 03:34

Mythreefavouritethings · 20/08/2022 01:11

Perfect. If you’re going to sit it out, Netflix to give you something nice to look at, and sit down wind. Say things like, ‘There there, get it all up, you’ll feel better in the morning’. Stroke her hair and be kind. Then first thing tomorrow, put on Enter Sandman as loud as you can, pass the Vanish and tell her to choose which armchair she’ll be glued to for the next 150 Saturday nights….

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Ridiculous. Did you never overdo things as a teenager?

Great way to make your kids hate you and keep you at arms length as an adult.

They won't forget the lack of empathy.

Rottenpumpkin · 20/08/2022 03:37

LondonQueen · 20/08/2022 01:16

I like @Mythreefavouritethings idea! Give her hell when she's hungover, she'll not want to touch a drink for the considerable future.

I sincerely hope that when you're next very poorly someone gives you hell!

cariadlet · 20/08/2022 04:09

I've got a 19 year old so have been through this a few times.

I really wouldn't punish her. What would the punishment be for?

She hasn't sneaked out. She hasn't lied about where she has been or who she was with or what she has been doing. She hasn't missed her curfew.

You said yourself that she's normally a good girl. I don't think that she's done anything wrong (wrong meaning bad). She didn't know her limits (because she's not a big drinker) and has made a mistake.

If she's been puking, then she'll be feeling bad tonight. She's probably going to feel rough tomorrow as well.

I would go down the tea and sympathy route tomorrow and explain the dangers of getting drunk, especially how it makes girls and women vulnerable.

On the other hand, your DH who encouraged her in the first place...

I'd be very tempted to make him do the pukey laundry and any other clearing up that needs doing as a result of his stupidity.

Nugg · 20/08/2022 04:17

I'd be angry at your dh- she may not have had much at all if she's not used to alcohol.

He'd be cleaning up the mess too in my house!

DaisyJoy1 · 20/08/2022 04:26

Your HUSBAND encouraged your underage child to drink rum?? And she got (understandably) pissed and snuck some more and is now unwell? And you're blaming HER for this, something stupid she did when under the influence of alcohol provided to her by her parent??? And not your actual adult husband who fed his child spirits?

Your husband is the one in the wrong. Your child is a victim of this situation. You'd be really awful to punish her for it. Instead, a very serious family talk is needed between the three of you to establish how and why this happened (as in, what was your husband thinking?) and ensure it doesn't happen again. Also to check that your daughter is okay?

I can't even comprehend the idea that her dad gave her a really strong alcohol and you're going to punish her for doing something stupid having drank it.

DaisyJoy1 · 20/08/2022 04:29

(want to add, I'd be pissed after 'just 1' drink if it was rum - rum is bloody strong and spirits are deadly for some people! - and I'm a regular drinker of wine and beer. After 1 rum I'd definitely be pissed enough to think carrying on drinking would be a good idea. So I can't imagine how a 15 year old child would feel after 'just 1' rum.)

daretodenim · 20/08/2022 04:32

DH should be involved in the cleanup - and should be sitting up with her all night.

Sounds like he's not that kinda guy though...

Re punishment I think you need to let the embarrassment and hangover speak for themselves, as well as doing the cleaning herself. You need her to know that if this were to happen when she's at a party, you'll always come for her. Not that you support her getting trashed, but that she shouldn't be afraid to call you when she needs help. You don't need to actually tell her that, but the natural consequences will get the necessary messages across.

Goldbar · 20/08/2022 04:34

If it's her first time doing this and she was encouraged by your husband, I'd go easy on her. A stern talking to, yes, but no other punishment.

Your husband, on the other hand...is he asleep while you're sitting up with your DD? If so, why 😡? I'd be getting him to clean up all the vomit-covered bedding and sit up with her the rest of the night.

Original poster
treesandweeds · 20/08/2022 06:57

Thanks for your points tbh my husband offered her one small drink, she nicked the rest. I'm annoyed that he sid that but he didn't tell her to drink more than one. I let her so we wouldn't have another argument about it as we've recently been on holiday and he wanted her to have a cocktail and so did she.
He did offer to sit with her but I didn't trust him to stay awake and he head a history of stupid ideas and was already suggesting them.

I won't punish her more than cleaning up, she's hopefully learnt her lesson. There's a lot of sick and waking to do.

OP posts:
MichelleScarn · 20/08/2022 07:02

Is dh her dad? What's he doing now while you have the supervision task?

girlmom21 · 20/08/2022 07:03

She's going to feel like shit when she wakes up. We've all got that one drink that the mere thought of makes us feel sick.
Rum is going to be hers!

Original poster
treesandweeds · 20/08/2022 07:03

He did start cleaning up last night. She's still asleep so nothings happening at the moment

OP posts:
Bollindger · 20/08/2022 07:47

Please don't stop her trip.
Tell her you are disappointed she drank, but you will always be there for her if she over drinks and is in trouble, that you will bring the bucket for the car.
Tell her about when you got drunk for the first time, tell her about woman who pass out and get raped.
Offer her food and headache pills and tell her this is her one and only pass on drinking. Be her mum.

WimpoleHat · 20/08/2022 07:55

We’ve all been there! Better she learns the lesson with you there to help her and not out on her own somewhere dangerous. I’m going to go against the grain and say that I don’t think it’s wrong to allow teens to have a small drink on occasion; they get used to alcohol (and the caution it requires) and it loses its “cool”, so they aren’t desperate to get cracking the minute they’re 18. Obviously, this went awry this time - poor DD!

Justyouwaitandseeagain · 20/08/2022 07:58

I still remember the first time I got really drunk at about 15 (while at the house of some older work colleagues). My dad carried me to bed and treated me as if I had a sickness bug. They were sympathetic, caring and explained the dangers of drinking too much. Their kindness has stayed with me and meant I always trusted them when I was going out / drinking in future. I knew they would always have my back if I pushed my limits too far or got out of my depth in a dangerous situation. The fact she got drunk at home, I agree that there isn't really much to punish.

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