Rudest thing your DC has said that they genuinely didn't know was rude

[newmum32]

So DH and I are having dinner tonight with DS1 (11) and DS2 (8). DS2 was telling a looong story that I truly don't remember what it was about because as 8 yr olds like to do, he had been telling the story for such a long time, I'd zoned out! I was rudely jerked into awareness by this sentence from DS1 to DS2: "..... and then I'll teabag him..."!!! What??! My perfect bite of baby potato, lettuce and chicken fell off my fork!!
DS1 clocked mine and DH's reactions and was like 'What??' I asked him what he thought that word meant and he said 'Isn't it crouching over someone? "
My reaction was 'Well, that's one way of looking at it, but it's a really really rude thing to say."
I then tried to be all grown up while DH was telling him to not ever say it again but half way through it I started giggling (with DS2 going: 'What's rude or funny about teabags??") and couldn't stop for ages! DH joined in after a while with both boys looking at us as if we'd gone crazy!!
I'm looking forward to being a fly on the wall when DH explains it to him!!

Oh dear that is funny. Ds1 did the usual toddler thing of mispronouncing words so saying rank but it sounding like wank for example. Ds2 can sometimes come across as rude but he is looking likely to be autistic so we were in the park and he was holding a stick and a woman sitting near us said to him is that your wand. He looked at her as if she was a complete idiot and said it's not a wand, it's a stick. I often forget how literal he can be and called him a dizzy dinosaur when he was spinning on something last week, he told me deadpan expression that he is not a dinosaur but a human!

There are not enough lines to tell you them all but my eldest is really literal and brutally honest. He says things like “who was that man at the door?” What man? “That fat man across at Caitlin’s now” or when my gran asked did you like your birthday present he’ll say “not really, I’m to old for dinosaurs now, I like Xbox” when he was six. Isn’t grans custard better than that birds packet stuff? “Not really, it’s got lumps in it”.

The worst one I think was when we were at our friends daughters wedding and he came back to the table with a drink. I asked who game him it (thinking he’d swiped Bacardi off a table again) and he said (father of the bride) “Allan’s mum gave me it”. Allan’s mum has been dead years so a bit further probing and he pointed to Allan’s wife. “Her there, Allan’s mum” that’s not his mum that’s his wife! “Really? Well she looks too old to be his wife” and he’s never lived that down. It’s like verbal diarrhoea

That made me laugh OP. Teabagging is used like that in gaming so I’m guessing that’s where he (or his friends) have picked it up from without understanding why it’s said!

😂😂😂😂

Yes mine came out with teabagging a while ago. I said ‘stop saying that it doesn’t mean what you think it does’. He then gave me a pretty good approximation of what it meant! From Fortnite I think.

Made the mistake of looking up teabagging..

That's funny, does he play computer games? That's a common thing said by other players particularly fighting ones like call of duty etc.

Or someone he plays with might know it from computer games & use it in playground games. Definitely a gamer term 😆

My DD suggested DH bought me a lifesize doll that looked like him to kiss while he was working away.

She also has expressed a massive desire to try waterboarding. She means wake boarding. Trying to explain waterboarding in terms that a 7yo can appreciate but not be traumatised by was interesting.

My DGS aged about 6 and at a rather prissy catholic school. During assembly and author came in to read a story from her book. Afterwards the Headmistress was asking the children questions about the story they had just heard. The character in the story had said 'Oh bother' and the HM asked the children if they could think of another word like bother. My DGS put his hand up and the HM asked him what word he was thinking of. 'Bollocks' was his answer.

I got pulled to one side at pick up time at nursery when DC1 was about three and a half. The nursery manager informed me that said offspring was telling everyone that 'my mummy meets men for money'.

To clarify, I had my own IT business that involved meeting a lot of people!

@Framilode that really made me chuckle

Reminds me of my niece, about 5 at the time, was outside helping my db mow the lawn, she came in and my df, her gf asked her what she's been doing 'trying to fix the fucking lawn mower' was her answer

My dd like to sing a song that mentions the word "creaming" she would sing this pretty loudly. We had to explain to her that it's not appropriate to sing about creaming over people in public 😆

These have really cheered me up this morning

I don't have children but my mum loves telling this story about me. I've always had a very strong sense of smell so as a child I was constantly asking "what's that smell?". One day my mum had taken me shopping with her and in the car park she met a woman she knew who was really nice but notorious for having terribly bad breath. My mum had put me in the car and the window was rolled down so the lady popped her head in the window to chat to me. My mum said almost immediately I recoiled and looked to her and said "Mummy what's that smell? It smells like dog poo" My mum and the poor woman were mortified!! Makes me cringe whenever she brings it up now too

This has given me early morning chuckles 😂😂

That’s fantastic, I hope you’re keeping that one in storage until his 21st birthday party 😅

I have toddlers so it’s just pronunciation issues at the moment: DS had an obsession with sticks from 18mo onwards and would stride around the park shouting “DICK! DICKS!” which was somewhat challenging.

We also settled on “trump” as the word we’re using for flatulence noises, because he was copying southern DH saying “fart” & sounded like a toddler version of Danny Dyer saying “faaaaahk!”

@OldTinHat 😁

I landed my mum in similar trouble when I was that age… my dad had taken us to pick her up one afternoon from a place which was a coffee bar/piano bar (? it was the 90s) during the day but a nightclub at night. The story I told to my preschool teacher heavily implied me and my sister had been dragged out at 2am to scrape her off the pavement, rather than collect her from a coffee with friends at 1pm

@IceStationZebra That's hilarious! Your poor mother! 😆

My DS kept using the word fisting for a while meaning punching which was another fortnite thing - maybe people don't do fisting in the states? It's really hard to explain to an 8 year old boy why a word is rude without explaining what the word means which I REALLY didn't want to do with that one!

Going out on a limb here and asking nervously what teabagging is....don't think I have the guts to ask my teens..... 😬

@MmeMeursault oh please, please ask your teens 😅

And let us all know their reaction

To be fair to him, she was totally asking for that!

Why is it that sticks are thr thing that toddlers love the most, when S at the front of words is so hard for them?

This is my magic dick mummy.
Do you like my magic dick?
I'm waving my magic dick mummy, do you want to touch it?
I'm waving it to make it bigger.
It's a special dick.

No, no, no, no, no!

This has made me laugh so much!