Rudest thing your DC has said that they genuinely didn't know was rude

[newmum32]

So DH and I are having dinner tonight with DS1 (11) and DS2 (8). DS2 was telling a looong story that I truly don't remember what it was about because as 8 yr olds like to do, he had been telling the story for such a long time, I'd zoned out! I was rudely jerked into awareness by this sentence from DS1 to DS2: "..... and then I'll teabag him..."!!! What??! My perfect bite of baby potato, lettuce and chicken fell off my fork!!
DS1 clocked mine and DH's reactions and was like 'What??' I asked him what he thought that word meant and he said 'Isn't it crouching over someone? "
My reaction was 'Well, that's one way of looking at it, but it's a really really rude thing to say."
I then tried to be all grown up while DH was telling him to not ever say it again but half way through it I started giggling (with DS2 going: 'What's rude or funny about teabags??") and couldn't stop for ages! DH joined in after a while with both boys looking at us as if we'd gone crazy!!
I'm looking forward to being a fly on the wall when DH explains it to him!!

Isn't it worrying that some one thought a term was needed for this activity??

Yes, this!😂😂
I don't know who'll be more embarrassed!!

when my son was 3, he loudly said to a man 'my mum thinks your dog looks like a rat on a string'. I was so embarrassed.

I hate small dogs after being savaged by a chihuahua as a kid but I wouldn't have your the man!

I must say the S word more that I realised because my toddlers now say it each time they trip over/ drop something by accident 🙈 I’ve stopped saying it but they are still going….

When I was a little I tried to give the audience the peace sign at the school nativity, (I was the shepherdess) but I got the fingers the wrong way around and waved both of my hands up high for everyone to see. Mum not pleased. 😅

My six year old called the mother of one of his schoolfriends a 'freaking dickhead' the other day. I actually gasped out loud! One of his friends at school had said it and he didn't know how rude it was. It is true though...

This!! My girl spent a lot of time with her monty python loving great grandad as a toddler and could sing ‘come sit on my face’ verbatim

@BuffyFanForever my toddler too. He can’t quite pronounce it, but due to the tone he uses as he says it makes it easily understandable 😂

My mum and dad got a kitten when my sister was a toddler. My brother was a baby and I hadn't been born yet. They asked her what she thought was a good name for the kitten. She said 'Wanker?' My parents were always very strict about things like that. I wasn't even allowed to say fart, let alone an actual swear word, so it wasn't that she'd heard it from them. They've always just guessed that she must've made the word up! We're all in our 30s now with kids of our own. It's a story that still always amuses me😄

I was on the bus with my mum and she said "I hope the bus hurrys up or we'll be late picking your brother up from school".
I replied " he'll be shouting "Where's my fucking mother"

My son-my mother has a way of lording up everything she owns as a noose over our necks ‘if you don’t do what I say,you’ll not get anything when I die’

anyway,she’d gone a bit far when my son asked if he could have her jewellery when she died
a bit shocked she said yes
’ok nan,can you hurry up then?’

I howled laughing

DD12 has ASD, when I was pregnant:

'why do your boobs look sad?'
'what are those brown things?'

Both comments towards my breasts obviously 😂

that's cracked me up

when I was about 6, I remember telling my Nan about a day out I had been on. I told her I had a really good day, but “the traffic was b*llocks!” I genuinely thought it was another word for crazy

Little clock on the mantle piece and a larger clock on the wall in the living room.
My daughter on a daily basis age 2, little cock, big cock.
One day DH mate arrives and she asks him in her cute toddler voice, do you have a big cock or a little cock?
😳

My best friend is a solicitor. Her DD, who was about 8 at the time, announced to her whole class that she wanted to learn “soliciting” when she was older just like her mum…..

It made for an interesting parents evening when the teacher told my friend!

Once ds1 and ds2 were playing a very silly made up fantasy game (I have no idea what about) in ds1's bedroom, when I heard him clearly saying to ds2 "Right, now you're going to be an anus."
Ds1 must have been about 5. Dh was not impressed when I decided to tell him what the actual meaning was, since he then spent the next week saying it constantly!

😂

Just googled teabagging and wish I hadn't. Barf.

My 6y said cock porn for a very long time

A little boy of 2 or 3 that my mother was babysitting was most put out when she wouldn’t let him do something he wanted to do…

”If you don’t let me, my daddy will come around and bonk you”

We thought / hoped he was referring to something more along the lines of Mallett’s Mallet (this was the late 80s / early 90s) than Jilly Cooper…

My eldest daughter, early teen, is a bit dippy.

Mid argument with a sibling, calls them a nonce!

I asked if she knew what that meant...yep idiot, her nope darling, sent her off to Google it.
She came back and apologised!

Similar to you OP, I nearly choked on my dinner when DD2 age 5 at the time announced she'd learned about threesomes at school. After a bit of probing we realised she'd been adding three numbers together not just two - three sums!
When DS was 5 he was at great gran's 105th birthday and asked very loudly "but why are you 105, did you just forget to die?"

I made chicken fajitas for tea the other night, my 14 month old wouldn't eat the chicken and was shaking his head no when offered it to him, my husband said to him "aww why don't you want to eat the chicken?"... 14 month old clearly said "it's shit, it's shit!"
We both looked at each other and started laughing so much! Little bugger haha.