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Original poster

Rudest thing your DC has said that they genuinely didn't know was rude

103 replies

newmum32 · 15/08/2022 20:37

So DH and I are having dinner tonight with DS1 (11) and DS2 (8). DS2 was telling a looong story that I truly don't remember what it was about because as 8 yr olds like to do, he had been telling the story for such a long time, I'd zoned out! I was rudely jerked into awareness by this sentence from DS1 to DS2: "..... and then I'll teabag him..."!!! What??! My perfect bite of baby potato, lettuce and chicken fell off my fork!!
DS1 clocked mine and DH's reactions and was like 'What??' I asked him what he thought that word meant and he said 'Isn't it crouching over someone? "
My reaction was 'Well, that's one way of looking at it, but it's a really really rude thing to say."
I then tried to be all grown up while DH was telling him to not ever say it again but half way through it I started giggling (with DS2 going: 'What's rude or funny about teabags??") and couldn't stop for ages! DH joined in after a while with both boys looking at us as if we'd gone crazy!!
I'm looking forward to being a fly on the wall when DH explains it to him!!

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ChobKnees · 16/08/2022 09:59

MmeMeursault · 16/08/2022 07:48

Going out on a limb here and asking nervously what teabagging is....don't think I have the guts to ask my teens..... 😬

Think of the motion of dipping your teabag up and down in your cup. Now picture something else that is bottom-weighted and dangly...

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 16/08/2022 10:22

MmeMeursault · 16/08/2022 07:48

Going out on a limb here and asking nervously what teabagging is....don't think I have the guts to ask my teens..... 😬

It's the motion of a bloke dipping his bollocks in someone's mouth 😆

Ratched · 16/08/2022 10:28

My grand daughter, in the middle of a crowded shopping mall, decided to continue a (heated) discussion about what snacks to buy for this evenings tv viewing.
She stopped, I continued walking, then in the booming voice that only 4 year old can command shouted ' but I WANT cock porn gran, I love cock porn! I always get it at your house'.
I kept saying, ' you mean popcorn, popcorn, say popcorn'.
Nope. Stony silence from her.
She got the popcorn.

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MmeMeursault · 16/08/2022 11:03

Well, that was enlightening! Thanks all!

Teens claim not to have heard of it. Maybe they just didn't want to explain it to Mumsy who would have played dumb and asked for diagrams and everything.

😆

Jules912 · 16/08/2022 11:20

Can't remember anything recent, but as a toddler DS was obsessed with trucks. Unfortunately he also had a rather unfortunate way of mispronouncing truck. After the first couple of times I learnt to always point out the lorries!

Original poster
newmum32 · 16/08/2022 14:35

Oh no, poor boy!😂😂
We've also had: 'Mummy what were you saying to that fat lady?' as we're in the next aisle at sainsbury! The mortification!!😧😧

OP posts:
Original poster
newmum32 · 16/08/2022 14:37

HighlandPony · 16/08/2022 01:26

There are not enough lines to tell you them all but my eldest is really literal and brutally honest. He says things like “who was that man at the door?” What man? “That fat man across at Caitlin’s now” or when my gran asked did you like your birthday present he’ll say “not really, I’m to old for dinosaurs now, I like Xbox” when he was six. Isn’t grans custard better than that birds packet stuff? “Not really, it’s got lumps in it”.

The worst one I think was when we were at our friends daughters wedding and he came back to the table with a drink. I asked who game him it (thinking he’d swiped Bacardi off a table again) and he said (father of the bride) “Allan’s mum gave me it”. Allan’s mum has been dead years so a bit further probing and he pointed to Allan’s wife. “Her there, Allan’s mum” that’s not his mum that’s his wife! “Really? Well she looks too old to be his wife” and he’s never lived that down. It’s like verbal diarrhoea

Oh no, poor boy!😂😂
We've also had: 'Mummy what were you saying to that fat lady?' as we're in the next aisle at sainsbury! The mortification!!😧😧

OP posts:
loafandleaf · 16/08/2022 14:46

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loafandleaf · 16/08/2022 14:51

Oh gosh and I have another, we had a leak in the ceiling a while ago, and we were shocked to say the least with a bunch of F bombs going off as it was directly above the TV.

Well, it happened again. Although we were more prepared for it this time, DD 2yrs (who can't say her F's) was...

"Oh no! The bucking water is coming through the bucking ceiling!!!!!" "Oh it's bucking wet!"

🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

I've cleaned up our language ever since, and actually as a silver lining I'm quite proud she used all her words in perfect context 😅😅 just maybe the words themselves could be better

Squirrelsnut · 16/08/2022 14:52

Toddler DS liked spotting round things like wheels and clocks, which he would call COCKS! at top volume.

Original poster
newmum32 · 16/08/2022 14:58

BuzzBeeEmoticon · 16/08/2022 02:13

That made me laugh OP. Teabagging is used like that in gaming so I’m guessing that’s where he (or his friends) have picked it up from without understanding why it’s said!

This I did not know!! He does game lot so that makes sense!
How very odd that they would use it. It must be from older teens.

OP posts:
ofwarren · 16/08/2022 14:59

We were at an event where the military were there with tanks and helicopters etc.
My 6 year old was being shown through the scope of a large machine gun by a soldier. The soldier asks him, "what do you see?" And he said "Just a really old lady"..
She was stood right in front of him and heard every word. Worst thing is she was only about 40!

Original poster
newmum32 · 16/08/2022 14:59

MrsMop1964 · 16/08/2022 05:15

Made the mistake of looking up teabagging..

😂😂oops! I should have put a warning!😂

OP posts:
Sux2buthen · 16/08/2022 15:04

Bing came on the tv this morning. I said 'oh no it's bing'
My five year old said

'Fuck'

😳
Not that she was wrong

JaninaDuszejko · 16/08/2022 15:09

OldTinHat · 16/08/2022 06:43

I got pulled to one side at pick up time at nursery when DC1 was about three and a half. The nursery manager informed me that said offspring was telling everyone that 'my mummy meets men for money'.

To clarify, I had my own IT business that involved meeting a lot of people!

When my children were little they would tell people I test drugs. I got a few funny looks and had to explain that I work in the pharmaceutical industry.

When DD was 3 she asked her great uncle 'are you pregnant like my Mummy?' Thankfully he roared with laughter.

whinetime89 · 16/08/2022 15:10

My eldest daughter who now 12 is Autistic and adhd had chronic foot in mouth as a young child.
We were at a park and she saw a older lady and she asked her "do you have a baby in your tummy?" And the lady replied " no I just like eating cake" and quick as a flash my daughter turned to the ladies husband, looked him up and down and asked "do you like eating cake too?"
I honestly wanted the ground to swallow me up. That was one of her many cringe worthy chestnuts that I laugh about now.

My 5yo asked me a few days ago "mum were dinosaurs around when you were little?" I scoffed and said "no" and she replied " whattt but you're 33!!!". Ouch

mayflower21 · 16/08/2022 15:12

EsmeeMerlin · 15/08/2022 20:45

Oh dear that is funny. Ds1 did the usual toddler thing of mispronouncing words so saying rank but it sounding like wank for example. Ds2 can sometimes come across as rude but he is looking likely to be autistic so we were in the park and he was holding a stick and a woman sitting near us said to him is that your wand. He looked at her as if she was a complete idiot and said it's not a wand, it's a stick. I often forget how literal he can be and called him a dizzy dinosaur when he was spinning on something last week, he told me deadpan expression that he is not a dinosaur but a human!

My daughters the same!

imnotthatkindofmum · 16/08/2022 15:14

On one wet holiday with friends we were playing a word association game and my youngest (6 at the time) just shouted out "VULVA!"

Not that rude but random as fuck lol it was in no way associated with any of the words we used!

Mrsorganmorgan · 16/08/2022 15:19

When my daughter was 3 years old, she told MIL "my mummy called you a bitch lady". I didn't know where to look!

Crappydoo · 16/08/2022 15:19

Friends son was 'investigating' an instant photo booth once in a very crowded post office. When she told him to come out he proudly announced to the whole queue "mummy I was playing with my bum in there"

SareBear87 · 16/08/2022 15:30

Pretty mild embarrassment but it's cute!

2 yo Nephew ran up to me and said shyly when I arrived at PIL house that he liked my "boobs".

SIL looked mortified and mouthed an apology, I crouched down as he started playing with the tassels on my new boots. Penny dropped.

I found it rather amusing, but nephew was swiftly taught to over pronounce the T in boots 🤣

Ziggyisthebestdogintheworld · 16/08/2022 15:35

I'm going back years but when my sil was little,my fil had a disagreement with a friend
He came home and had a rant to my mil finishing his rant with 'he's a fucking dickhead'
Weeks slid past and finally they saw the friend again
To which sil repeated word for word what her daddy had said-finishing with 'and my daddy thinks your a fucking dickhead!'

Thankfully he saw the funny side and they where still friends until last year when we lost fil

Kids-whod have em?

FlipFlopBattle · 16/08/2022 15:44

DS was about 5, playing with toy cars while his devoted grandparents were watching. MIL said that he was obviously a good driver, and she hoped he could take her somewhere in a real car when he was old enough to drive.

DS barely looked up from his game, just said matter-of-factly "I shouldn't think so; won't you be dead by then?".

Luckily she thought it was hilarious. I don't think I would have 😁

Original poster
newmum32 · 16/08/2022 15:52

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 16/08/2022 07:40

My DS kept using the word fisting for a while meaning punching which was another fortnite thing - maybe people don't do fisting in the states? It's really hard to explain to an 8 year old boy why a word is rude without explaining what the word means which I REALLY didn't want to do with that one!

Oh no that's worse than teabagging!!! Pp please don't Google fisting!! 😆

OP posts:
PrincessGraceless · 16/08/2022 15:53

This is me but about 100 years ago when I was 8 or 9. My parents had a small hotel and a young couple booked in for their honeymoon. They duly arrived on the Saturday after their wedding and I piped up, in a loud voice - “I bet THEY won’t get much sleep tonight!” To which all eyes on me, horrified, awkward. My Mum then asked what I meant (she was brave!), to which I innocently replied - “Well, they’ll be really excited.” I felt the relief as conversation resumed and sensed something odd but had no idea why everyone looked shocked. Years later this came back to me and I realise how it must have sounded! 🤣