Feeling utterly inadequate following yummy mummy encounter

[milliec]

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One of my best yummymummy friends has constant problems with her childrens health, not a week goes by without her being in the A&E or the docs, and she herself has had more than one biopsy, and cancer scares. She says her shopping trips and designer bags are the little extra cheer that keep her thoughts away from all the badness. Of course she is lucky to be in the position to get that bag she wants but it is a meagre consolotion. She is a lawyer, but choses to be a sahm, and has no nanny, but a cleaner who comes weekly. But she cooks like nigella, and is so swelte and trip I get all envious!

Uh Slinky, there is a VAST difference between bragging to real life friends face to face and, sharing your views (somewhat more openly than you would in real life) on an anonymous internet forum, where, for all you know I could be a fat sweaty balding bloke in his fifties, a bored teenage girl or a bitter and twisted mil.
I'm none of the above btw, just illustrating a point!
I was trying to point out that being an alphayummumummy and being educated, well dressed and attractive are not mutually exclusive.

What Enid said, all of it.

The venom on this thread is extraordinary.

Insecure people come from all walks of life, as do competitive people.

However irritating they are, they deserve compassion because this behaviour generally has its roots in unhappiness.

(I'm not yummy in the least and don't own a stitch of Boden by the way)

Every mother has anxieties about aspects of her own and her children's lives which will be quite invisible to the casual observer. MN should surely be about supporting each other, not bitching over how we look whilst carrying out our maternal duties.

god I really must stay away from this thread

have just spotted:

rubberduckie on Fri 25-Jan-08 20:53:04
These yummie mummies should all be shot IMO! the fact she has nothing in her life other than her kid is why she is so dull and boring. My guess is the reason her hubbie earns so much is he'd rather work than be stuck at home listening to her drone on yet again about her precious cherubs. Bet you a tenner he'd prefer a real women who knows time saved not making nuggets = more time on hubbie!!NEVER feel inferior to these type of women its all a front to make up for their lack of having a life of their own.

some of you sound so so awful

I have never come across these yummy mummy types and I live in an area where you might expect to.

I have come across two types of semi yummies the first set do everything properly breastfeed for as long as possible, blw, handcook everything, arrange really stimulating playdates but they look far too knackered to qualify as a proper yummy mummy.

Then there are the other semi yummies - latest designer clothes, immaculate make up, gym-honed bodies but they are so busy maintaining themselves that they are a bit sloppier with the kids, fruit shoots, too many dvds always forget it is show and tell etc.

Most mums I meet are totally normal (just like me! ). We try to get our kids to eat healthy and take an active part in their education but we allow chocolate if it keeps them quiet and we do slip the odd tesco finest ready meal in our shopping basket. We might blow dry our hair and wear lip gloss to go to the school gates but our pubes are poking out of our mismatched underwear because we don't have time to be that well groomed!

Just lighten up everyone and stop comparing yourselves to others. No one is perfect, if someone makes you feel inadequate think about why that might be? The problem is more likely to be YOUR perception of YOU than it is to do with them.

shoot yummy mummys!
thats horrid

the only yummymummies i meet are footballers' wives, and in a way it's part of their job to look good in photographs so i cna understand the pressure. i think that harbouring this amount of resentment about people you don't know suggests that there's a bit of 'anxiety radiation' on both sides, tbh.

whats wrong with wanting to look good, enjoying your children and feeding them homemade food

is this not more of a jealousy thing?

Nothing, that is the point I was trying to make if you are refering to my post.

no the OP

Sorry

I probably shouldn't post again because I'm beginning to sound like I'm arguing for the wrong side, AND I've got PMT and I really mustn't post then.... The only reason I posted before was that I felt a bit sorry for dg getting such a drubbing for what I thought was meant in a more joking way. (I may well have got that completely wrong.)

Firstly, have never resented yummymummys , wbatever they are. In fact IMO it's ridiculous to brand so many different people under one term - I haven't got a clue who it would really include.

I never wish bad things on people whose parenting style I don't agree with. However, I CAN'T agree that just being unhappy justifies the behaviour that goes with that competitiveness. My DD1 has been made very unhappy in the past by the comments made to her about her academic abilities relative to her friend's, comments which I am certain have been prompted by the child's fiercely competitive mother.) Comments from the class teacher, who is amazingly professional and I'm sure would only have spoken to the parents so frankly, have also come back to us via this route, causing huge amounts of tears and unhappiness.

I think as adults we are able to choose how we behave in situations like this, however insecure and unhapppy we might feel.

To be honest you could almost be talking about me in as much as some might see me as a "yummy mummy" although I don't think I am (don't like Boden but have crocs ) but I am lucky in being a SAHM etc etc but are you sure she was not just trying to be helpful and kind? I could so easily ramble on trying to be helpful - trying to think up ways that might help and I suppose I could be construed as being some unthinking selfish PITA.