Feeling utterly inadequate following yummy mummy encounter

[milliec]

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I know quite a lot of rich people too, most of them very tactful. And I am not envious of a sahm with nanny cook and housekeeper, children in nursery and school, who spend her days playing tennis, doing her hair, lunching, and shopping. I just dont have much in common with them to talk to them about. And yet, I have not come across any "do go to yoga/water ballet/quad triking" etc as they dont do that, their nannies probably do, but they themselves dont have the experience of going to baby classes.
Are these yummy mummies, or a different breed?

Surely no people like this really exist?

Did this really happen milliec?

It reads like a paragraph from a novel.

You know, I'm racking my brains wondering when it was that the middle classes got so rampant again in this country. It's getting positively Victorian all over again, with the haves and the have nots, the right way to do this and that, the obsession with money and servants.

It's truly awesome what ten years of a Labour government can do.

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My child is the cleverest child in his class (maybe but I choose to believe definatly)

And I am a seriously poor and crap single parent with a grubby house and not a BuggerPoo in sight. It's not all about the parents - some kids are well clever, and some parents lie through their teeth - some also have warped perceptions of 'normal, plus...

... how many silly G & T threads here start with "My 5 month old rolled over, shall I enrol her in ballet?" and here, people reply "So what? It's normal, get a grip!"

But IRL, people are not so brusque, and reply "Oh well done her!", which an already delusional parent will interpret as "Yes, yes your child is a superior being. Yes."

i think genuinely wealthy 'normal' people dont need to boast,i didnt know this but when my middle son was small he palled up with a little girl and she often came to our house to play and for tea and her mum stopped and had coffee or whatever in the summer we spent day after day in the local park eating cheap icelollies and chips for lunch.....well at halloween she was having a party and invited several children ....as dh dropped us off i think my jaw hit the floor!! she was a farkin millionairress lololol her house was massive and clearly she was loaded she had a housekeeper!! and an au pair etc etc the 'party' was a real disco, catered food and loads of goodies to take home.......they had holiday homes in greece,turkey and france (i think a lot of it was family money) but never a more normal girl could u meet

LOL dippydeedoo. A friend I'd known for a while at toddler group came to my house once and said wow you'd never know you live in a big house. I think (hope) it was a compliment. BTW it's not that big and I don't have a cleaner.. etc but these things are all relatve.

I'm certainly no Yummy Mummy, just doing my best like everyone else. However, I am aware that I can sometimes be annoying with advice. It's not through anything other than a desire to help. If someone mentions something that's getting them down and I've been there, I will tell them what worked for me. Would never ever comment on another parents "shortcomings" if she hadn't raised it first though.

PERPETUALWORRIER i quite agree with my first baby i was a bundle of neurosis an had it not been for the mum of one of my charges at the nursery where i wored i honestly think i would have developed baby ocd....shed had 3 babies and was a wealth of knowledge she was and still is a fantastic person to know she always says this is what id do .....(it also helps her dh is our local gp lol) but sometimes you can kiss the feet of the advice giver and other times ramming their head in the holly bush isnt far enough- its all down to attitude,btw why DONT u have a cleaner??? lmao im joking lol

I just lie! If I am tired and I meet one of the very many yummies in my area, I just say that yes I'm tired, I hurt my back at Pilates last night and din't sleep a wink. I never tell anyone during chitter chatter that DS2 doesn't sleep through the night! I always say that I can't stand having cleaners, they just don't know how to do things and I just prefer to do it myself (iggest effing lie ont the planet) and I would never let someone else have control over my children hence no nannies/au pairs/child minders (really it's because we can't afford it). I keep the real stuff for my real friends. I was very impressed last weekend when we visited a friend who just had a new baby, and she had fake nails, I swear she had a fake tan from a salon, she was bragging about her cleaner and her ironing lady. Then they told us how big their mortgage was on their house...

We don't have a mortgage so there you go, Bitch!

milliec-it does sound like shes trying to be friendly to you though.maybe she doesnt realise how shes making you feel?

Going to sound truly awful here but the quintessential 'braying' breed of yummy going to great lengths to talk about her welath in a very public forum is nearly always 'new money' who probably went to a bog standard comp (hence the boasting about dcs at private school) and never had help growing up (hence talk of cleaner and nanny) etc.
Being far more blunt about things here than I would be in real life, my husband earns a lot. My family wealth is quite considerable. I never actually go out of my way to TELL PEOPLE THIS... I'm somewhat embarrassed by it as people do judge you. I won't lie about it, I might be nonchalant about the whole thing, at times maybe even a teensy bit misleading... as a child even at a private school I would wait about a year before invting friends back to mine as I would be worried what they would think.

As a result of their brashness these women aren't liked by most of society, the lower and middle classes think they're boastful and insensitive, the upper middle and upper classes find them cringeworthy to be around so they congregate in herds of other nouveau riche talking loudly about hteir wealth.

btw, I'm not at all bitter, I'm young, educated and did a bit of modelling while at uni, so apparently quite attractive, I am a size 6-8 and have 5 kids, I go to the gym and even do yoga (hell, my elder dcs even take - whisper- mandarin classes)
So I could fit in quite happily with a crowd of yummies but I chose not to because they're generally the people who would be irritating whatever section of society they end up in...

do you look down on us benefit poeple Bella or think we're in inferior? I think thats what the braying type does and for some reason they think we're jealous of their posh things or big cars or furs or ballet classes.

nmc, I don't look down on people in genuine need of benefits, in fact I think that often people deserve more money than they are given and I certainly couldn't cope on a very limited budget with a needy child
(am I right in thinking you have a disabled child, am very sorry if I have confused you with someone else, the nicknames are confusing, i'm a face person)

I get a bit irritated with people who could clearly work, ie no dependants, ill health etc and are making a lifestyle choice not to, I think they do give a bad name to all those in genuine need

yeah, I'm the one with the disabled child and DH had to give up work to be a full time carer.

Belladonna, I agree. I have quite a few wealthy friends (I am not wealthy by any standards). There is a big distinction with those who have "new" money that they themselves have worked hard for (like the average background successful lawyer) or those who are born into it. If you are born into it, it is so normal to you, you dont have to brag, and if you are well brought up too, you will cringe if you hear the bragging. If it is "new", it seem they have to constanly reassure themselves and others about their economical standing, in terms of loudly speaking of holidays, and designer items, etc.

I bloody hate the yummy mummy set - i've tried, i really have tried, with these bloody women. But honestly, it is making me reconsider my school choice - because if i send her to my chosen school, it will mean i have to put up with these mindless witches forever! But hey, thats just my experience

quintessential, i would probably have more respect for the working class guy/gal done good who feels the need to flash the cash, than someone who simply inherited it, and is up their own arse about it. Bella, i dont class you in that category by the way.

I just find it really hard to comprehend that women look down on other women because they dont have the right clothes/cars/postcode. Especially as this particular breed of donkey (you know, the braying sort) tend to only have the right clothes/cars/postcode because they have married it. I find high earning women who are wealthy in their own right, because they themselves have worked for it, on the whole tend to be pretty down to earth.

I am a highly educated stay at home mum, my partner is a builder with a white van, yet i constantly find that it is the yummy mummies with the groomed appearance, who have chosen a well off partner look down their nose at me because i dont have as much money as them - stuff em.

Totally LEM, it is just that in my experience it is the working class done good type of person who brags the most, has a lot more wisdom to pass on regards to baby classes, nannies, and not the least where to pick up the best designer bargain (and GASP at the idea of Primark) and in the process makes me feel a lot more inadequate and exasperated than the other type who quietly enjoy their fortune in a much more understated way.

I think i've been using the term "yummy mummy" out of context! I always thought it referred to someone who took care of their appearance and that it was someone who was a mum and attractive

Didn't realise yummy mummy just meant stupid cow! These women sound horrendous!!

I think we are in danger of blurring the boundaries here. I mean, are we talking about yummy mummies (which i understood to be fit, healthy and lovely mummies), or are we talking the dreaded alpha mummy?

I think we are talking about healthy and fit alpha mummies?