Teeth brushing - I won’t use force

[Daffy20]

Son refuses to let me brush his teeth at 2 years.
i have tried
letting him choose toothbrush
brushing to songs
giving him control
making it fun
using reward charts

he wants to do it perhaps two days in the weeks But unfortunately his brushing lasts about 15 secs and it’s not really a tooth brushing- you know what I mean… yes effectively he is taking some responsibility but it has no effect on his teeth hygiene

he won’t let me do it - please don’t tell me to hold him down and do it because I won’t do that - so any other advice greatly appreciated.
any tips ?

I'd do it before something fun. So have his milk/supper earlier.
Factor in five min for brushing
Then a bribe off (peppy pig episode) etc

Don't make a fuss over it
After we've brushed your teeth properly (set a timer that you slowly increase) then you can watch peppa.

If he won't do it he doesn't get the reward.
Obviously try to not build up into a massive deal as it's bedtime

Brushing in the bath can help - usually a relaxing time.

Always start in a different corner so every four brushes each bit is got at least once

Disclosing tablets from boots - super cheap and turn the plaque purple - will make it a game for him and is good motivation - also recommend this at bath time otherwise really messy. But kids wouldn’t want to go to school with purple teeth

Failing that wrap in a big towell after bath with arms tucked in…… much harder for them to wriggle out of it…..

I used the AHH method. While you brush he is allowed to shout with his mouth open as loud as he likes. Saying Ahhhh.

It worked with DS when he was young. No fillings and in his mid 30s now

Use a timer for him and then a reward afterwards whether it be watching his fav tv show of having a "sweet" (multivitamin!)

We have the same struggle. Sometimes he responds well if we brush at the same time. So he will try to 'copy' but does a poor job to be honest. I then quickly take it off him and have a quick go around and then give it back. I also got him a kiddy electric toothbrush which has a light. That worked well for a while but now it doesn't make a difference. Hopefully it gets easier!

Well, I just used to get hold of the child and make it happen. They wouldn't have done it at all if I hadn't. It was a phase that was eventually outgrown.

It wasn't a matter of holding them down. I'd have an arm firmly around them with the toothbrush in the other hand. I'd make it clear that I wouldn't be letting go until the teeth had been brushed.

If you don't make it happen then your 2 year old will continue to call the shots. Don't let them.

Mine loved the blippi toothbrush song, you can also gets apps that come with some toothbrushes were the more they brush the more a picture reveals itself or something.

But honestly it’s really important that they brush their teeth, if nothing else works then using force is the only way, just letting their teeth rot would make you a worse parent than brushing a 2 year olds teeth with force. Both mine went through this stage and it took a couple of days of calm but firm ‘we are brushing your teeth now’ and using force with lots of cuddles and still getting a little reward after, and after that they took the distractions and did it themselves because they new it was happening regardless. However trying little immediate rewards could be worth a try first, like mini figures or something. Ive also seen it suggested to let them brush your teeth and you brush theirs (no chance I was letting a 2year old in my mouth with a tooth brush tho!)

You coins try all the suggestions but if none of it works you have to just do it. As a op said it doesn't have to be as bad as holding him down. Just sit him on your lap and quickly but firmly put your arm round. Rotten teeth can affect him for life and he needs to know it's non negotiable

One of mine was a tooth brush refuser, for me it was non negotiable so I would wrap him a towel , sit on the toilet seat and clamp him between my legs and brush them.

I just got an Oral-B electric toothbrush and played a silly song on my phone for the timing aspect and that made brushing fun, very efficient and easy.

You have already tried most of this but just because something didn't work a month ago doesn't mean it won't now as there is so much development going on at that age... doing it in the bath and making no big deal of it, an electric toothbrush for the excitement, tooth brushing songs, special reward of something he wants to do afterwards could all be worth persisting with.

But honestly it’s really important that they brush their teeth, if nothing else works then using force is the only way, just letting their teeth rot would make you a worse parent than brushing a 2 year olds teeth with force. Both mine went through this stage and it took a couple of days of calm but firm ‘we are brushing your teeth now’ and using force with lots of cuddles and still getting a little reward after, and after that they took the distractions and did it themselves because they new it was happening regardless.

This exactly. Use a bit of force if you have to and they (mostly) soon stop resisting. Being held tight and having teeth brushed forcibly by mum is far far nicer than having painful rotten teeth filled or extracted at the dentist.

" we need to count your teeth" then take the brush and touch each one.

My eldest is 4 and around 2 went through some phases of nothing working to get their teeth brushed calmly. We did have to do a lot of firmly holding them and doing it whilst they cried. Yes it was horrible, but not as horrible as them getting rotting teeth. Your child will not grow older and thank you for not restraining them if they end up with rotten teeth, I can guarantee you that. We haven't had any issues with my eldest for absolutely ages with teeth brushing so it's not like it put them off it as they aged either, they're absolutely fine brushing their teeth, they start and then we finish it. They have great teeth so far.

One of mine would have just completely refused. I wrapped him in a towel and just got on with it. He soon grew out of it.
A 2 year year old can't effectively brush their teeth either they can have a go but you need to be doing a proper brush aswell any way.

You will feel a lot worse when he's got tooth ache and fillings rather than holding him for 2 mins.

Sorry but this is one of those times that a small amount of discomfort for the pair of you will mean you won't be crying over having to explain to a small child that he'll either be put out or have to have injections when they remove his rotten teeth. There are very very few occasions as an adult you have to use force but this, for the greater good, is one of them. Honestly once they realise it's a losing battle he'll give in.

I've seen those heartbreaking docs where children as young as 4 are having to be held down for anaesthetic to have their teeth pulled. Far worse than a bit of tough love now (and now always because of extreme diet - a lot of fruit plus poor teeth hygiene is enough to need treatment)

You just have to make this one of those non-negotiables; we know it's not painful and he'll soon understand it's not something he gets to choose whether to do

Have you tried the Aquafresh Brushtime app? Failing that, I'm afraid I would use light force. Teeth are important!

Try chewable silicone toothbrushes. Can help to do a bit of extra cleaning in addition to normal brushing if you’re not getting chance to be thorough.

I agree with this. My son was the same, so a couple of minutes in a firm calm hold, and it was done. He didn't like it, they don't have to like everything, but eventually realised it was non negotiable and gave up the fight. Better than wasting time on endless choices and painful decay.

My DS point-blank refused at the same age. I tried games, letting him pick the brush, singing songs, reward charts, everything. In the end I had to hold him down under my legs to get it done then a big cuddle afterwards. It only took a few days and he’d let me do it no fuss. It didn’t damage our relationship at all and now at 12 he has wonderful teeth and no fillings. Honestly, I’d just get them done. Decay is worse than a couple of minutes of him protesting.

This!

A little bit of force is far better than damaged teeth.

I used to dental nurse for children having extractions under GA. The anguish I saw on the parents faces and the pain the children were clearly in was enough to scar me for life.. teeth brushing is non-negotiable in this house

Have you tried the toothpaste that changes colour when they brush? Or a different flavour at least?
Tbh I told them it was too important to let them not have their teeth brushed properly, explained the consequences of not brushing their teeth and brushed them for them. But, if you don’t want to make him and he doesn’t want to do it, I guess you’ll just have to leave him to deal with the consequences - although I’m not sure he’ll be all that grateful in the end.