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Anyone NOT sleep train?
79

Erella9 · 14/07/2022 23:39

Sat here cuddling my 7mo baby just thinking about his sleep

sometimes he wakes for 1 bottle only, sometimes he wakes for settling (not as much now he’s in his own room?)

but I’ve never ‘sleep trained’ and I don’t know if I intend to. I feel like baby sleep is complex - tbh adult sleep is!

teething happens , changes to routine, bugs etc. I’m just trying to go with the flow. Maybe it’s easy for me as I do have a good support system so DS is an only child so far and when he had a week teething and was up every half hour, my mum babysat him the weekend and let me sleep.

But did anyone else not sleep train? Or am I a shitty mum for not so far!

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PeaceLily2000 · 14/07/2022 23:43

I just go with the flow with my 6.5month old.
She is usually a good sleeper (just good luck) but had a cold this week so her sleep has been all over the place. Just rocked her to sleep (usually she just falls asleep on her own) but she keeps waking up coughing!
She hasn't got any teeth yet so that is also likely to throw a spanner in the works when they emerge.
I think whatever works for your family is what you should do. Don't stress to much xx

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Galvantula · 14/07/2022 23:45

No you're fine!

Never sleep trained any of mine, just put in a routine of a story after changed and teeth brushed.

They all woke up a fair bit for a long time intermittently, but I was way more stressed before I just decided to go with it as best I could.

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shouldbesleepingnotscrolling · 14/07/2022 23:48

I didnt sleep train either of mine. Yes they take a bit longer to settle into a routine but they naturally find it and both had their regular nap times and bedtimes without the periods of crying.
I feel like people are in such a rush to push babies and toddlers into a routine to fit in with life, yes it can be tiring for us and you feel like it will never happen sometimes but personally I think its sad to ‘train’ their instincts out of wanting parents to reassure them when it will naturally happen when they are ready.
Not a popular opinion on here but thats my thoughts!

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Skinnermarink · 14/07/2022 23:50

No, and I wouldn’t, but night wakings were much more manageable when I was on maternity leave. Now I’m back at work, the days are long, and no one gives a shiny shit that my baby was up in the night. It’s tough, but I still won’t sleep train.

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Skinnermarink · 14/07/2022 23:51

And yeah he has a bedtime routine. What happens after that is not always predictable. At the moment he has conjunctivitis so am up bathing his gummy eyes. Up for work at 6:30 🫠

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RandomMess · 14/07/2022 23:53

I didn't "sleep train" but I was conscious not to develop cuddling or feeding them to sleep.

Mine slept long periods and fed little overnight from early weeks (big babies) so there was no need to.

Had I had ones waking up hourly and staying awake half the night I probably would have. No family support, no nights off ever nor daytime support either.

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jevoudrais · 14/07/2022 23:54

Skinnermarink · 14/07/2022 23:50

No, and I wouldn’t, but night wakings were much more manageable when I was on maternity leave. Now I’m back at work, the days are long, and no one gives a shiny shit that my baby was up in the night. It’s tough, but I still won’t sleep train.

Agree with this totally. Sympathy is gone when you're back to work despite life being harder in terms of lots to juggle!

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PinkButtercups · 14/07/2022 23:54

No I didn't.
Just went with the flow.

DS has slept through since birth so we've been really lucky on that front. I mean, the odd night he has woken up and didn't want to settle back down etc. He's 3 now.

Twins due end of the year so hope they sleep through like their big brother but I know they will probably completely opposite 🤣.

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Stevienickssnickers · 15/07/2022 08:35

Well generally if you've got a decent sleeper, you don't need to. If you've got one that wakes 8 times a night and takes an hour to settle in the first place, no family support and you're at work you might feel a bit differently.

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gogohmm · 15/07/2022 08:37

No, coslept, breastfed in bed, dd1 wanted her own bed at 2.5, dd2 had her own bed from 2 but barely used it until 6

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partypineapple · 15/07/2022 08:42

No I didn't. There have been tough spots and I've not left DD overnight yet (she's nearly 4) but she loves sleep and no issues with going to bed because all her associations are positive.

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zeddybrek · 15/07/2022 09:28

Didn't sleep train both of mine, just went with the flow. Some good days and some bad. I read somewhere about cortisol levels rising in babies when they cry a lot and how it's not good for them. It was a while ago and can't remember much more than that but no judgement whatsoe on those who do. Each to their own and lack of sleep is so difficult. Everything is harder if your baby has been up every hour. Also the latest advice on anything to do with babies constantly changes so go with what feels best. That's what I did and it worked out well. There really is no right or better option IMO.

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BuffaloCauliflower · 15/07/2022 09:54

Nope never, bedshared and breastfed throughout the night until about 18 Months, he’s recently transitioned to a bed in his own room and just wakes once now. No need to sleep train, which is just training your baby not to ask for your help anyway. Sleep is a biological function of the body, they change and grow at their own rate.

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Eileen101 · 15/07/2022 10:06

No, never. Eldest (now 4) was a terrible sleeper from the off. It improved hugely around 12 months when I started reducing breastfeeds, then slept through from about 18 months onwards. He's a brilliant sleeper now.
Youngest (now 2) was a much better sleeper from birth. Starting to sleep through now, at a little over 2, but still breastfeeds to sleep.

I've always just gone with the flow. It's disapproved of how I've always sat with them or cuddled them to fall asleep, but I couldn't give two hoots to be honest 🤷🏼‍♀️ they're my kids so I'll do what suits them.

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Sweettums · 15/07/2022 10:36

Depends what you mean by sleep train. My first never napped in a cot and I didn’t make him - pushed him around in his pram until he fell asleep for every nap until he was 3. But when I stopped bf at 13 months we also stopped co sleeping at night and I sent DH in to settle him to sleep, and we also did gradual withdrawal over about 3 months until we could put him in his cot awake and walk out of his room at bedtime. Didn’t involve any crying on his part,

with my second child I also breastfed and co slept but she was happy to nap in her cot from the get go and easy to put into her cot awake at night time. She didn’t need any training whatsoever when we did this at 15 months. I’m sure if I’d tried some gentle training methods on her at a younger age it would have worked.

sleep stuff massively depends on the personality of baby and parents and just because it’s easy or works for some doesn’t mean it will for others. They all sleep in the end.

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Pollywoddles · 15/07/2022 10:45

I’m really glad to read this thread. My DD is 4.5 months now and I have been wondering what would happen if I just continued to go with the flow with her. She feeds on demand and I loosely follow wake windows but if she doesn’t go down I don’t force it, just wait until she gives me cues that she’s sleepy.

We have a loose bedtime routine and she naturally goes off for the night at 8pm so I think I’m happy to continue to loosely guide her, I’ll be off until she’s a year anyway. We do a combination of feed to sleep but if she’s full and not sleeping then her Dad can rock her to sleep when she’s ready so it doesn’t depend all on me.

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GreenManalishi · 15/07/2022 10:49

Never did sleep training with any of them and wouldn't have considered it. It's a new phenomenon designed to raise ridiculous expectations, sell books and worry new parents that they're not doing it right. The baby sleep industry is worth millions worldwide and you're so right OP, not every adult lays their head down at the same time each night and falls straight to sleep for a solid eight hours. Babies are just small humans, not an opponant to be conquered!

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OnceAgainWithFeeling · 15/07/2022 10:54

Erella9 · 14/07/2022 23:39

Sat here cuddling my 7mo baby just thinking about his sleep

sometimes he wakes for 1 bottle only, sometimes he wakes for settling (not as much now he’s in his own room?)

but I’ve never ‘sleep trained’ and I don’t know if I intend to. I feel like baby sleep is complex - tbh adult sleep is!

teething happens , changes to routine, bugs etc. I’m just trying to go with the flow. Maybe it’s easy for me as I do have a good support system so DS is an only child so far and when he had a week teething and was up every half hour, my mum babysat him the weekend and let me sleep.

But did anyone else not sleep train? Or am I a shitty mum for not so far!

We have an only child. Didn’t sleep train her (although nobody understood that we did not actually want her asleep at 7pm and that 12 hours sleep was 12 hours sleep and midnight till noon was just fine for us, thanks).

Now 11 and no trouble at all. She even gets
to school on time. 😁

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R1408 · 15/07/2022 11:06

I did a bit of sleep training with my eldest (pick up/put down) to get him self-settling and sleeping better in his cot at about 9 months. He didn't sleep through for ages though.

With the next babies I didn't sleep train but I was very conscious of establishing solid sleep habits right from the start. I never had to 'sleep train' as in leave them to cry or teach them to self settle - but from the start I didn't feed to sleep (did co-sleep and feed lying down during the night though), I had lots of sleep cues and a day time routine. Night weaned around 8/9 months and they mostly slept through from then.

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itsgettingweird · 15/07/2022 11:33

I never did.

In fact I think my ds was about 5 when I heard about BLW and about 10 when I heard about sleep training!

From what I can gather sleep training is used and needed for children who struggle with sleep well into their pre school years and it's problematic for them as much as their parents.

My ds is autistic and has had sleep challenges in the past which were always solved by addressing the reason (usually anxiety) rather than trying to put a routine in.

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lovesT · 15/07/2022 11:42

Never sleep trained, never would ... Daughter is 2.5 and found her own way with sleep. It took time but she sleeps well now!

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Skinnermarink · 15/07/2022 12:45

A woman in my NCT (and there’s always one) claimed her baby ‘slept through’ from 8 weeks and now at ten months she’s ‘never had to’ go into her at night.

i asked her does she sleep through then or does she wake up and you just ignore? Because that’s really not the same thing and it’s pretty shitty to brag about your magic baby that ‘sleeps through’ making everyone else in the group feel rubbish that theirs don’t!

It’s like some sort of weird boasting right, baby sleep, as is how ‘well’ a baby eats and I cannot be fucked with it.

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Thursday37 · 15/07/2022 12:49

No sleep training here and DD is almost 3.

BF till 26 months, co-slept for 9
months, kept her in my room till 15 months and sit with her until she sleeps now. She has slept through for a long time now with no training required. I have never left her to
cry. She’s the most contented, securely attached little poppet and I wouldn’t change a thing.

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ShirleyPhallus · 15/07/2022 12:51

You absolutely don’t need to sleep train if you don’t want to, and if you and your baby have a great rhythm then don’t feel bad about it, it’s working for you

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Chanel05 · 15/07/2022 12:53

Nope.

She's nearly 2 and is up most nights but I put that down to the fact she's 2!!

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