Anyone NOT sleep train?

[Erella9]

Sat here cuddling my 7mo baby just thinking about his sleep

sometimes he wakes for 1 bottle only, sometimes he wakes for settling (not as much now he’s in his own room?)

but I’ve never ‘sleep trained’ and I don’t know if I intend to. I feel like baby sleep is complex - tbh adult sleep is!

teething happens , changes to routine, bugs etc. I’m just trying to go with the flow. Maybe it’s easy for me as I do have a good support system so DS is an only child so far and when he had a week teething and was up every half hour, my mum babysat him the weekend and let me sleep.

But did anyone else not sleep train? Or am I a shitty mum for not so far!

[cottagegardenflower]

never done it. they slept or they had disturbed sleep, or they were hungry or co slept or woke early and played in their cot. They sleep now.

The last thing in the world you can successfully do is 'train' a baby.

[OnlyFoolsnMothers]

@Chanel05

Nope.

She's nearly 2 and is up most nights but I put that down to the fact she's 2!!

2 year olds don’t tend to wake routinely in the night sorry to tell you

[OnceAgainWithFeeling]

@OnlyFoolsnMothers

2 year olds don’t tend to wake routinely in the night sorry to tell you

Very very few humans sleep solidly all night. Our biological history was bi-phasal sleeping - ie one sleeping session if 3-4 hours at night and another during the day. As a result most humans - including adults - wakes at least once at night. Sorry to tell you.

[Veebees26]

I think you've just got to do whatever feels right for you and your little. Of course you're not a bad mother for not sleep training, equally you wouldn't be a bad mother if you decided to go for it.
We put off sleep training for ages as baby was generally an okay sleeper but there were some sleep associations, we ended up sleep training after a few days away which completely through baby off and they would no longer even consider putting themselves to sleep. Best thing we ever did personally.
It took 2 nights for us to get over the rough bit (only for about 10 minutes at actual bedtime) then slept through ever since HOWEVER and I think this is what people get confused about, baby will still wake up if they are teething/too hot/too cold/ thirsty/ in pain or discomfort/ unwell etc etc the list goes on. Sleep training simply means they develop the ability to connect their sleep cycles and fall back to sleep without help IF all other needs are met first.

Whatever you eventually decide on will be the right choice for you I'm sure.

[luxxlisbon]

I imagine the majority of parents who sleep train have a baby who wakes far more than once a night.

Sleep training isn’t necessary for everyone by any means.

[Galvantula]

Mine all woke several times a night, I still didn't want to sleep train.

And I was back at work by 6-9 months for them, as someone mentioned that. I just did what I could go slept a bit, kept them in my room a bit longer if that worked etc.

[OnlyFoolsnMothers]

@OnceAgainWithFeeling

Very very few humans sleep solidly all night. Our biological history was bi-phasal sleeping - ie one sleeping session if 3-4 hours at night and another during the day. As a result most humans - including adults - wakes at least once at night. Sorry to tell you.

Of course children stir like adults but most don’t require an adult to wake and tend to them.

[AegonT]

I'm not against sleep training, I own Dr Ferber's book and my friends have had great success sleep training. However we've never got round to it/been desperate enough.

For both of ours we've had a good bedtime routine and kept it dark and quiet at night. But other than that I would breastfeed on demand overnight and co-sleep if they wouldn't settle in the cot.

With both of them sleep improved on it's own eventually. My first was an awful sleeper but slept through at 11 months. My second was a better sleeper but still takes a while to go to sleep and still usually spends part of the night in my bed at 14 months.

[GreenManalishi]

@OnlyFoolsnMothers

Of course children stir like adults but most don’t require an adult to wake and tend to them.

By "most" do you mean most of your children? The OP was about sleep training babies, not "tending" to children in the night. Anthropologically, humans are social sleepers, and there are many countries in the world where it would be unthinkable to put a baby in a seperate room, as it was here until the Victorian ethics kicked in, which is incredibly recently in perspective. (Which also involved the belief that babies didnt feel pain 😶)

[Chanel05]

@OnlyFoolsnMothers yep, I know this. My daughter just happens to enjoy a little visit during the night! Plus, she only has 11 teeth so far and therefore constantly teething 👍.

[OnlyFoolsnMothers]

@GreenManalishi

By "most" do you mean most of your children? The OP was about sleep training babies, not "tending" to children in the night. Anthropologically, humans are social sleepers, and there are many countries in the world where it would be unthinkable to put a baby in a seperate room, as it was here until the Victorian ethics kicked in, which is incredibly recently in perspective. (Which also involved the belief that babies didnt feel pain 😶)

i know what the OP was asking- I don’t care if people do or don’t sleep train.
My comments addressed the comments about 2 year olds waking routinely in the night as normal- it isn’t, nor is a 2yr old a baby. Mothers in particular know how detrimental broken sleep is, so to encourage that as being the norm for children is imo irresponsible.

[GreenManalishi]

@OnlyFoolsnMothers

i know what the OP was asking- I don’t care if people do or don’t sleep train.
My comments addressed the comments about 2 year olds waking routinely in the night as normal- it isn’t, nor is a 2yr old a baby. Mothers in particular know how detrimental broken sleep is, so to encourage that as being the norm for children is imo irresponsible.

It is really normal for two year olds to wake in the night. Really normal. Also, the suggestion that mothers might encourage it, and would be irresponsible for doing so is hilarious!

[roarfeckingroarr]

I didn't. I coslept until a year then slowly moved DS into his cot in his own room. He goes to sleep easily now, although the heat isn't helping.

I really really dislike sleep training for young babies.

[LunchPoems]

Never did it, not for me

[Chanel05]

@OnlyFoolsnMothers to put it politely, your comments are absolute nonsense. To suggest that I'm encouraging my daughter to wake up is ludicrous and laughable. 🙄

If my daughter needs me in the night, even for a reassuring cuddle, then she will have one.

[Mrsmch123]

We didn't sleep train. He liked rocking so we done that for 6 months then he got so heavy it was killing my back. We then done sleep stacking and now at one year old he goes in his cot with no problems and settles himself. Sleeps all night and has done since around 8 months. No tears were involved😃

[bakewellbride]

I've never sleep trained and never will. Its not right for me or my family. You're doing great.

[Suzi888]

We didn’t. To be honest I didn’t know about it.

[Scotabroad24]

I tried at 6mo for ds. It worked wonderfully for approx 2 months, then he started nursery and started picking up bugs and was constantly ill, this coupled with me and dh working ridiculously long hours (dh overnight 7 days per week) ds ended up in my bed. I'm too tired to bother trying to get him back into his own bed now, he's 19mo and still sleeps with me, it's easier to wake up when he's right next to me as opposed to traipsing up and down the hall every night!
In short, wish I hadn't bothered in the end although I know it can work if I ever have the energy to try again

[TiredEyes1991]

I haven’t sleep trained my 10 month old and never would. It’s cruel and neglectful imo. People will justify it in their own way but it’s still not right

i agree with a PP who said people are in a rush to force independence in babies and push them into fitting round our routines. We contact nap during the day and he happily sleeps in his cot at night which is still at the end of our bed. Sometimes he wakes up sometimes he doesn’t, I’ll always comfort him when he wants it, his needs don’t stop just because it’s night time. You’re doing great :-)

[LillyLeaf]

I never sleep trained and DS did wake a lot, but I think that's pretty normal. I just followed his lead and did what he needed. If he needed me next to him to fall asleep, I stayed with him, or if he needed to hold my hand, I sat with him, If he needed a cuddle or breastfeed in night then that's what I did. I never left him crying. He's nearly 2 now and a great sleeper. There were times which I desperately wanted my evenings back or would have loved him to sleep through the night but it passed and I'm happy with how we did it.

[CrappyNHappy]

No I didn't sleep Train. The five year old has just this year started falling asleep on her own in her room on some days and still wakes up several times a night where she needs us.

The 1 year old used to be a good sleeper. Just woke up once or twice a night, fed and then always happily went back into his cot. Now he's a nightmare. Refuses to sleep in his cot and just wants to be carried and walked.

We have a bedtime routine but o blame breastfeeding. Both always fell asleep during breastfeeding. Anyway, sleepwise it's all a bit of a mess but I still don't want to sleep Train.

[lovelilies]

I never sleep trained any of mine. They're 17, 8 and 6 now. The best sleeper is the 6 yo and she's still in my bed, where she's been since day 1. Not for everyone but I'm all for the easiest route (and I love the snuggles tbh!)

[Happytap]

Of course not! I wouldn’t dream of sleep training my children. What do they need training in?! Sleep training is a pile of shit made up to exploit exhausted overwhelmed parents and make them feel like the answer is separation from their babies and is cruel & outdated.

[TheLovleyChebbyMcGee]

The thing is, surely no-one sleep trains unless their baby is a really shit sleeper and they are desperate?!

We sleep trained our first baby as he was a nightmare, would take an hour to settle to sleep, then be awake 40 minutes later, would only do contact naps while walking and it was just awful, but DS2 is almost 7 months now and while he still wakes twice most nights, he's much easier to settle so we've not done any sleep training.