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Original poster

My partner refuses to watch our child.

87 replies

Kaayyyx · 29/05/2022 07:52

Hey everyone, so I'm writing this because i dont know what to do/say to my partner. We have a 1 year old DS and I stay at home all day, everyday with him which I love but whenever my friends ask me to go out for dinner or to see a show and I of course cant take my 1 year old with me, my partner refuses to stay in with our child and look after him while im out therefore I hardly ever go out with friends because I need to try and find a babysitter and most times cant. It just makes me mad because its not like he is busy or got plans, he just refuses. Every time. The 2 times he has watched him (since hes been born) was when i had to go the hospital and even then he moaned to me to hurry up home and just turnt the kids TV on and left him to watch TV while he was on his phone until I got home and just kind of ignored him which upset me. I just feel like i cant go out with friends because he wont watch his own son. I dont know what to do

OP posts:
Octomore · 29/05/2022 07:54

Leave him. This won't improve. Better to be single than with a man who won't even parent his own child.

What made you think this man was father material?

KatieKat88 · 29/05/2022 07:55

I wouldn't stay with a man who didn't show he cares about me or our child. You both deserve better.

KangarooKenny · 29/05/2022 07:56

Yes, leave him.

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cameocat · 29/05/2022 07:56

Leave him, that is neglect (if it wasn't for you)

shebuildsquickmachines · 29/05/2022 07:56

He is a shitty person and an even shitter dad

I highly doubt you'll get any different answers really

I fucking hate these useless twats

Get rid

BundtCake · 29/05/2022 07:57

Why are you with this tosser?

Aimee1987 · 29/05/2022 07:57

Well leave him comes to mind. But I'm guessing if your a stay at home mum that may be difficult.

It sounds like hes using the baby as a way to control you. Is he controlling in other ways?
I would be seriously reassessing your relationship and under no circumstance what so ever should you have another child with this man.

MintyMoocow · 29/05/2022 07:58

Cut your losses and leave him. This so not salvageable.

ShandaLear · 29/05/2022 07:58

Why does he refuse? Is it because he doesn’t love his DS? Because he feels unconfident? Or because he’s trying to control you?

MagicTurtle · 29/05/2022 07:59

Your partner is a massive dickhead.

Hugasauras · 29/05/2022 08:00

He's a shit parent and partner. That won't change. It's now up to you what you do with this information.

Heronwatcher · 29/05/2022 08:03

Erm leave him and find someone who is less of a selfish lazy bastard?

RandomQuest · 29/05/2022 08:04

I’m so sad for your poor DS growing up with a parent that is that disinterested in him. A night out with your friends is the absolute least of your problems tbh.

MagratsDanglyCharms21 · 29/05/2022 08:06

Ditch him. He demonstrates a lack of love for his child and that sort of toxic shit will poison your relationship anyway. Better to go whilst your child doesn't realise their dad doesn't give a shit, rather than your child being troubled through their adult years wondering what they did wrong. Look at finances, start squirreling money away and plan for a better life, just the two of you. I'm sorry he's shown himself up to be such a massive twat but don't even think you can change that. You can't. You can't make someone care. So sorry for you love. It's not what you want to hear, but I suspect it's what you already know.

bloodyunicorns · 29/05/2022 08:07

Leave him. He is a useless excuse for a partner. Is there anything good about him? I bet he leaves you to do all the cooking and housework too.

Leave him. You will be happier without him, and so will your dc.

BackToTheTop · 29/05/2022 08:07

Leave him and get yourself a good babysitter so you can have a life outside of children too

icecreamcart · 29/05/2022 08:08

Leave

Cinnabomb · 29/05/2022 08:10

As much as you love your baby, please DONT have another one with this useless man.

Moodycow78 · 29/05/2022 08:11

I know Mumsnet has a reputation for being too ready to say LTB but there's a reason for that. This man is showing you who he is and what your life will be like for the next 20 odd years until the kids leave, so make your choice now on how you want to live your life because he's unlikely to change unless you think there's an underlying reason for this behaviour like depression and it's very out of character. Regardless you need to let him know this behaviour is threatening your partnership and if he doesn't change you will end it, then you need to follow through when he makes his choice x

Pollydonia · 29/05/2022 08:12

He isnt " refusing to WATCH his child" he is refusing to PARENT HIS CHILD.
You cant watch or babysit your own children, only parent them.
Honestly, what is the point of him ?

girlmom21 · 29/05/2022 08:14

Yep the responses are going to be pretty unanimous here for a reason.

2pinkginsplease · 29/05/2022 08:15

He is using this to control you, to ensure you don’t go out,

what does he bring to the relationship?

PetersRabbitt · 29/05/2022 08:16

Your already a single parent, leave him, give yourself a chance in the future to meet someone a lot better and build a happy family with because this guy is not it!

Winkydink · 29/05/2022 08:16

Leave. And while you’re leaving please don’t get pregnant again with him as the “father”

clpsmum · 29/05/2022 08:19

Leave him

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