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Anyone else hate school gate mums

113 replies

irishmumto4 · 20/05/2022 13:08

Hi, there's one mum in particular on the school run that is just so enthusiastic and involved in everything.. she does my head in! Constantly arranging play dates for her daughter with a different child every time.. it's like she wants her daughter to have allll the friends. Then when her daughter inevitably falls out with one of her mates she's whispering to other parents about said child. Just so irritating.. are there mums like these everywhere? What's the worst school mum story you have?

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RedHelenB · 20/05/2022 15:47

Fizbosshoes · 20/05/2022 13:16

MN seems to despise "school mums" ...despite usually having school age children ....and thus being a school mum themselves...Confused

I have lots of good friends I met via the school/nursery gates, I miss them since I've worked ft and kids now at secondary. (There are some I don't especially gel with but I'm not sure that's due to them being in a school playground)

I'm the same. We all used to arrange coming home to tea with different children. Don't see the problem personally.

NewAccount1223 · 20/05/2022 15:48

I am saying they are jealous. Otherwise why would they care who other women (who happen to be mums) talk to or laugh with or are friends with.

Vallmo47 · 20/05/2022 15:57

You know you’re one, but you’re so much more OP. And no one else is? Talk to other parents, don’t talk to them, I don’t mind either way. But for some people this interaction in the morning is what gets them through - it’s been a rough few years. I agree to avoid the few who are disagreeable and rude to others but I choose to do this in every aspect of life. But my goodness, the word HATE in your title. You hate school mums. Hate yourself for your rudeness. Put some shades on, stand way back and keep your head buried on your phone. There are ways to avoid human interaction, just do that.

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SallyWD · 20/05/2022 15:57

Hate is a strong word!! Yes there are a couple of people I roll my eyes at (well, a mental eye roll) such as the very earnest mother who collars the headmistress nearly every morning for long serious conversations. I mean how can there be so much to talk about? But generally they're a nice bunch. There's no bitchy mums at our primary school and everyone seems friendly. They're all just people and I find most people are annoying in some way - me more than others, I'm sure!

Nat6999 · 20/05/2022 15:57

I hated the school gate, the parents were disgusting & bitchy, when I left exh the entire playground blanked me & a year later when I went to drop off ds with dp for the first time the playground went silent as we walked in. One of the mums even got involved with my divorce & turned up at court with exh. It was the happiest day of my life when ds left to go to secondary school.

saraclara · 20/05/2022 16:20

I've been both a 'non-paid work' school gate mum, and a professional working 'drop and run' school gate mum. It's quite ridiculous to turn your issue into some kind of tribal warfare.

When my kids started school I already had friends who I'd known since toddler group. So of course we'd chat together at the end of the day while waiting for the kids. It's perfectly normal behaviour, surely? We didn't gossip or judge anyone, we just chatted for ten minutes. We weren't a 'clique' we were just people who knew each other and had to stand around in the same place for a while every day.

When I went back to work and had to drop and run, and pick up from a child minder rather than from school, I missed the chance to catch up with people, and as the kids grew older of course we all saw a lot less of each other. I couldn't have cared less about what the later bunch of less rushed school gate mums did. Why would I?

It's just a phase of parenting. If you stay home with your kids for any period of time, you have the ante natal bunch of people, the toddler group friends, the nursery/playgroup people. They're just people you're thrown together with, just as you are with work colleagues. If you choose to, or have to go back to work when your kids are small, then these people will not be your tribe. That's neither their fault nor yours.

If an individual is rude to you or ignores your approach to them, then they're a rude person. They don't represent every non-working school gate mum any more than you represent every working one.

NerrSnerr · 20/05/2022 16:46

Nat6999 · 20/05/2022 15:57

I hated the school gate, the parents were disgusting & bitchy, when I left exh the entire playground blanked me & a year later when I went to drop off ds with dp for the first time the playground went silent as we walked in. One of the mums even got involved with my divorce & turned up at court with exh. It was the happiest day of my life when ds left to go to secondary school.

I don't understand how the whole playground could blank you. How does every parent in the school from reception to year 6 know who you are (unless you live your whole life out in the playground and on local social media).

If I got divorced I genuinely don't know how anyone apart from my immediate group of friends would ever know on the playground

Volterra · 20/05/2022 18:02

Guess it depends where you are. My youngest DC leaving school this year, the eldest is early 20’s but I still see lots of people I met at the school gates. We’ve gone through loads together over years. They aren’t school gate mums, just great friends.

SleepingStandingUp · 20/05/2022 21:33

Fizbosshoes · 20/05/2022 15:04

🤣🤣
I even celebrate my birthday with the people that pretend to be my friends. I should probably get therapy.

You know they resent every second and post threads about however the bill was split right?? I'm currently trying to work out a weekend away with the associates who hate my kids but have no way of escaping after 29 years 😂

I know I'm one, but I'm also much moreI mean that line deserves its own thread @irishmumto4 😂😂😂

Johnnysgirl · 20/05/2022 21:52

Nat6999 · 20/05/2022 15:57

I hated the school gate, the parents were disgusting & bitchy, when I left exh the entire playground blanked me & a year later when I went to drop off ds with dp for the first time the playground went silent as we walked in. One of the mums even got involved with my divorce & turned up at court with exh. It was the happiest day of my life when ds left to go to secondary school.

Baffled at this...
You must have been quite a character for you and all your intimate business to be known to the entire school community.

SleepingStandingUp · 23/05/2022 10:30

I assume Nat's kids were at a tiny village school, this level of knowledge wouldn't be the case in most schools. We have 220 pupils so prob half that no parents and no way do I know the ins and ours beyond a handful from DSs class

Funkyslippers · 23/05/2022 17:04

SleepingStandingUp I agree, and I wouldn't care either if I did find out stuff about someone I didn't know

GlowUp2022 · 24/05/2022 13:44

These sorts of threads always strike me as protesting too hard. Like you are a bit socially awkward and envy their friendships and easy chat, but can’t admit that to yourself.

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