Do you look back on the baby phase fondly or not?

[Scottishbump85]

FTM and my daughter is nearly 4 months. She’s generally what could be described as a “good baby” (although I hate that term), but I’m really finding it difficult. The worrying about routine, sleep, being anxious about her crying in public / at peoples houses etc.

She is currently massively fighting napping during the day and this results in her being a grump come afternoon and I just feel miserable.

I know they say everything is a phase and to “enjoy every minute”, but I’m finding it quite tough.

Do those will older children look back and realise these days passed quick and wish they had been less stressed? Help me see light at the end of the tunnel please!

Personally I remember it being mostly being exhausted, hormonal, in pain, worried and on edge. With about 10% of the time nice cuddles, happiness at my baby being healthy etc. The first 4 months is really tough imo. It all gets better - she'll settle into a more predictable routine and you'll find the best way to get her to sleep when she needs it (for about 6+ months I would have to walk mine around for the afternoon nap, then somehow they transitioned into having a decent nap in the cot). Good luck!

I would say I do wish I'd been less stressed though - but mine was screaming in what seemed like awful pain so in the evenings, so it's hard to not worry about that. GPs didn't do anything except suggest Infacol etc.

Second time round I was still dog tired but I knew it would pass so it wasn't so bad. First time round I thought that was my life forever...

I don't really, although I enjoyed it at the time.

Toddlers, toddlers I look back on so fondly. They are adorable all of the time.

Baby stage after the first dull months & I was still on maternity leave - brilliant
The back to work juggle I can't remember

I look back with amazement that we both survived to be honest - DD wasn't an easy baby, and I struggled enormously with sleep deprivation. Thankfully DH was (and is) very hands on and supportive. I don't look back on it fondly at all, and DD remains an only.

The stress really started with weaning (DD didn't want to!); much of the rest of it was unpleasant but not stressful if that makes sense. I don't remember worrying about DD crying when we were out (and she did. A lot.)

I find DD much much easier now, but she is 9! I hope it gets better for you.

Not fondly at all. A mixture of extreme exhaustion, with added worry, isolation and guilt. It got a lot better some time after walking and talking started.

I find myself looking at pictures of DS when he was tiny and thinking I miss it. Reality was I was an anxious mess who found the whole thing overwhelming and exhausting. 4-6 months was particularly hard, DS was SO GRUMPY! I certainly didn’t enjoy every minute and the whole first year dragged. I much, MUCH prefer the toddler years. Years 1-2 went by in about a tenth of the time as years 0-1. They are still hard but so much more rewarding, in my eyes. Keep swimming! Xx

Oh god, no, it was awful!

However, yes, I do wish that I had been less stressed, both for DC's and my own sakes. Do try not to take everything too seriously. It will pass.

Hang in there OP, she'll be a toddler soon and life will get better.

Loved it all. The secret for us was a strict timetabled routine from birth so that we had no sleep issues and had the evenings to ourselves. Found it a doddle.

I've now got 3 late teen boys and its been a nightmare few years and i can't wait for them to all bugger off to Uni tbh. Its not enjoyable at all now.

I don't look back on it fondly as it was an extremely difficult time which I'm glad we got through in the end. We're now t in toddlerhood and it's much better. All babies are different though. Mine had reflux/colic and a whole host of issues so it was a struggle. Also a massive sleep refuser until 18mo. I think the enjoyment came when I actually finally got some sleep however I do see newborns now and feel all mushy..

Found early baby times difficult, mainly due to lack of sleep.

I've forgotten it. It was endless nights of broken sleep. Screams. Stress. Endless anxiety. Loneliness. Endless hours trapped in the house. Struggling with hating the child. They're 3.5 now. I can't understand how anybody has more than one child. Would never put myself through such hell ever again.

Yes but DD was a very easy baby, slept well, was cheery, could take her anywhere. I absolutely loved my maternity leave with her! I think sleep is probably the key.

Do those will older children look back and realise these days passed quick and wish they had been less stressed?

Yes but that doesn't help you right now.

It's the way of things to look back and only remember the good bits, not the relentlessness of it, the long unsettled afternoons, the endless walking round the block in the hope they'd nod off in their pram, the reflux and smelling of regurgitated milk the whole time.

Like a pp I'm in the thick of tricky teenage years so think fondly of cute wee babies snoozing in my arms and not massive almost-men wrestling in my hallway and breaking things.

It's so true that everything a phase. Its passes and it is replaced by a new phase and a new worry. Just when you think you've got it all worked out they grow a bit more and the goalposts shift all over again.

I felt the same as you OP, from about 3mo to 8mo was really difficult. The day was just trying to get through all the naps. We were in lockdown the whole time so there wasn't much else to think about or do!
My baby was a terrible sleeper so I was constantly trying to improve it.
At 8mo once my son was on 2 naps the routine was more predictable and things seemed to click. He was a bit more interactive, crawling and giving a bit back, it was far more fun. I think I could also get out and about to classes at that time.
He is now 21mo, I'd say from 1yo when he was walking and saying a few words it has been fun. We go to museums, playgrounds, petting zoos etc. lots more activities but he also still has a 2hr nap so I can have a break!

No not really. Didn't enjoy it that much.
My DD is 2.5 now and hilarious. So much more fun now.

I enjoyed the baby stage a lot with my second - I think partly because it was a lot easier than with my first who had a lot of medical issues (2 x surgeries before he was 1, various appointments and A & E stays).

It was so nice having a "normal" baby and breastfeeding worked well for us (totally painfree and straightforward - I realise not everyone has this experience). I did a lot of pottering around with him in the sling. I see babies in slings and just wish for those days back.

I love 2-3 year olds too, they are hilarious but very full on. Unexpectedly, I haven't enjoyed 4-5 so much, have found my DS very stubborn and grumpy and generally difficult.

You're flooded with hormones which make your heart melt but they are so much work.

I just want to add something regarding the crying in public. Please try not to worry.
Anyone who has had a baby will understand and not be phased! Most of us would probably happily give the baby a cuddle and let you have your coffee or whatever in peace!

My two are 3.5 and 21 months so I can say with certainty that this phase will pass quickly.

I absolutely loved it, both times. Regardless of how tired I could be, the slog, etc, I thought it was magical. It's such a special time.

Not always the case. We don't all feel "a rush of love." This is a total myth.

I loved every moment until they became teenagers!

Keep going OP. Some people love the baby phase other don't. Some have 'good' babies and others not so much. Take each day as it comes and before you know it your baby will be walking and talking and what your feeling now will be a distant memory

My DD is 5 and I still don’t look back on the baby phase that way; there are things I enjoyed but enjoying every minute is rubbish at any stage in my opinion

No I don't. 8 loved my babies and had some lovely cuddles but it was a slog. I look back on the toddler years with much fondness (despite all the epic tantrums) and when they were younger in general.