Do you look back on the baby phase fondly or not?

[Scottishbump85]

FTM and my daughter is nearly 4 months. She’s generally what could be described as a “good baby” (although I hate that term), but I’m really finding it difficult. The worrying about routine, sleep, being anxious about her crying in public / at peoples houses etc.

She is currently massively fighting napping during the day and this results in her being a grump come afternoon and I just feel miserable.

I know they say everything is a phase and to “enjoy every minute”, but I’m finding it quite tough.

Do those will older children look back and realise these days passed quick and wish they had been less stressed? Help me see light at the end of the tunnel please!

hey, it does get easier I promise. Please try not to worry too much about routine or what other people think. I have a new baby. Almost four months old now. He is my third.
Babies cry you can’t do much about that, people will just have to deal with it when they see you 😂😘.
I find it best to follow the baby’s needs rather than trying to stick to a routine. Apart from fitting around the school run for my older kids.
If my youngest struggles to nap I sometimes take him out for a walk in the pushchair or try rocking him to sleep in it. That often works for him. it’s not all enjoyable with babies. It does seem to have flown by afterwards when you’re on the next stage. There are lovely moments but it is also so hard at times. X

I found it really hard first time around, I really wasn’t prepared for the reality. But I enjoyed it second time, as so many of the worries were dissipated by a bit of experience. I did enjoy both of them as toddlers and older children. Both of them slept and ate well after the new born period, so I think they were relatively easy.

Not really. They were lovely but it was the hardest and loneliest time of my life.

I remember getting to around 6 months and thinking ‘at last - this is what I thought it would be like’. I do have very fond memories of the baby stage but they were a long time ago and I suspect my memory is somewhat selective

With my 1st yes, very fondly. The first 3 months were hard but then she was very easy and I loved every moment of my Mat leave. She's 9 now so a while ago.

My 2nd however no. He was a premie, in SCUBU. So that in itself may explain the rest. He developed colic, allergies and then anaemia within the first 6 months, so a vastly different experience. He's a bright energetic 4 year old now with no health problems so we pulled through but it was hard especially as he never slept for longer than 2 hours in the first year!!

No. Just no.

I loved it but ime it depends on your personality and interests. Eg I am a musician and tutor and I realised some years ago that the reason I enjoyed the baby phase so much is because I like doing the same thing over and over with slight variations (playing music) and spending lots of intense focused time with one other person (tutoring). Even better, babies don't talk back!

Toddler phase on the other hand was a complete fucking nightmare for me because every day/hour/minute is completely unpredictable and they talk at you all the time!

That said if you feel you are struggling/sinking then do seek out support.

Can't really remember it much so no not particularly. LO is 2

For me the first few weeks were very hard, and whilst I wish I could have enjoyed it more, I know I couldn't have because of the stress and trauma from birth-related issues. I don't even remember much about having a baby that small - I remember more how I felt at the time, which is a shame. Even hearing music from that time in my life brings it back and reminds me of the desperation for sleep.

I look back more fondly at the period from around 3/4 months onwards, but even then I don't miss it per se, because of the interrupted nights, reflux, and general anxiety about DS crying in public.

DS is now 4 and whilst it's still challenging in some ways, I know I'll miss this phase when it's passed. It's a lovely age for discovery and for proper two-way conversations and for seeing them start to be more independent whilst still wanting cuddles all the time.

It took a lot of adjustment and there was a lot of stress, but I loved it so much I did it five times. I went with the flow because there's no other choice really.

Not!

Having said that there’s nothing quite like a snuggly, chubby, milk drunk baby on your knee

The rest I don’t miss

No. It was Groundhog Day. Dull, boring and tiresome.

I look back on photos and think about how sweet they looked but no. I did not enjoy the baby and toddler years at all; I found it stressful and boring.

with DC1: remember lots of lovely moments, but terrible sleep deprivation.

Thank you all! It’s so nice to know I’m not an alien!

I love my daughter immensely and her smiles and giggles absolutely melt my heart, but I do find myself longing for the day she is toddling about and is generally more entertaining.

My children are 21 and 18 and I don't look back fondly on the baby phase at all, except for sniffing their heads.

I took my pfb out for a long walk either in her sling or later in the pram every single day from 0 to 6 months as I couldn't get her to nap in the cot. But, somehow, eventually she did go down for naps at home from about 6 months onwards. That's when things got a little bit easier.

Keep going op! x x

I dont really remember much at all which always surprises me. I remember some very nice cuddles and being very sleep deprived. I cant even always tell which baby I am looking at in old photos (number 1 son or number 2) i have to do things like, 'we got that sofa in 2009 so that must be younger son'

Don't miss it at all - the crying, the pooing, the sleepless nights. Struggling to get out of the house... one Sunday DH said he'd nip out and do the weekly shop, and I made him take me and DD along for the thrill of it, I was just so fed up of being alone with a howling, demanding, mini dictator. And the boredom of it all! You change a nappy, and 20min later you need to do it again. You read a book to them, and it's so short you need to read it many times to fill up some time. (Sometimes, mind you, I read grown-up books out loud as it gave me a bit of brain fodder).

Baby 1 - hated it. She only slept for 45 mins MAX for weeks and I was a broken shell, it took me months to recover. I would frequently cry and I put on a stone from comfort eating.

Baby 2 - currently 9 weeks old and I am loving it. He sleeps! I sleep! It is a completely different ball game.

Sleep is the single differentiating factor between them.

Nope. The first four months were awful. It helped that I have a sister who has 4 kids and is very open about hating the newborn stage - I knew it must get better or she wouldn't have had 4! My little boy is 2.5 now and life is totally different. Hang in there OP!

God no! The baby stage is the worst bit! For all those reasons you say. For me it was horrific sleep. My youngest two woke every 45 minutes for months. Nearly killed me. The phrase 'enjoy every minute' is crap invented by society to make you feel bad about yourself by people who are smug twats. It's really fucking hard being a mum. Cut yourself some slack. Sounds like you're awesome. Ride the waves, do what you need to survive and you'll find you come out the other side. There will be lovely phases and hard phases. Be kind to yourself. X

This has been on my mind as I'm about to go back to work after maternity leave - DD is 9 months.

The first few months were ROUGH. 4 months was an absolute arse. I was sleep deprived, anxious and overwhelmed. For me it got better after 6 months when her sleep dramatically improved and she became more interactive. I've genuinely loved the last 3 months and am feeling v sad about my return to work so I guess you could say I look back on months 6-9 fondly, 0-6 less so! Although I do well up thinking of those lovely newborn cuddles.

Just reading the comments and remembered that no, I do not look back fondly on the many miles I had to trek with the pram just to get my baby to go to bloody sleep. I lost a stone though so its okay

Honestly. I’ve loved every stage and found every stage brought some difficulties. I don’t think I could have enjoyed every minute but I do wish I had made more effort to be in the moment and not wish time away- I’d give anything now for another cuddle with my DC as babies.

The lesson of course that I should learn is to be more in the moment now- there will come a time soon when I look back like this on them as 16yos.

Imho around a year is the sweet spot. So lovable, amazing to watch them progress every day, but should be sleeping 12 hours a night and not be in the middle of anything too terrifying.

crosses fingers