Mums who don't follow the "rules"

[Booklover2021]

This is meant to be a lighthearted thread by the way... for the past few weeks I've been overloading myself with info on how to help my 4 month old to sleep. Tried bed at 7pm as that's what's "ideal", tried different sleep training methods...yesterday I decided "sod it" and just went with my intuition and how my LO was. He had the best sleep he's ever had.

I just wondered if anyone else decided to sod what they were "supposed to do" and just went with it and had more success? Just want to quiet that anxious side of me telling me I should still be following the "rules"!

I didn't follow any rules, I demand fed, coslept and they napped on me. They grew up fine

@DonnyBurrito sorry you made me laugh, my sis in law and brother are the most miserable people you could ever meet. They whinge and whine about every little thing about parent hood, they crib about their lack of freedom😳
Seriously, lack of freedom that you both out on yourself! They crib about how all their friends have deserted them but in reality it's them who deserted their friends.🙈
We, my hubby and I, I must admit cherish every minute of family time, why whinge and whine about missing out on life due to revolving around nap times when we just get in with life as before and love every bit of it, this is what life is all about, living!!! Not restricting.
You sound defensive but obviously it's because you are resentful of your rigid life but to be honest, it really doesn't have to be like that, you can actually live and go with the flow without the boring schedules, it can work, u just need to relax a little and everything still falls into place whether or not you are an uptight schedule follower or a do with the flow type of person.

I didn't follow any rules, ds was fed when he wanted, slept when he wanted, he had a dummy until he wanted to give it up, potty trained when he decided he didn't want to wear nappies. I never even bothered to read any of the books or leaflets handed out by the health visitor or the advice at clinic. I have a big strapping 18 year old who is healthy, well mannered, well educated & knows his own mind. Follow your instinct & sod everyone else.

I went with the flow and did what worked for us. 4 children, all adults now and fine,

The ‘rules’ change anyway. Children should influence our lives, not dominate them. Just get through each day as best you can.

[quote navydear]@DonnyBurrito sorry you made me laugh, my sis in law and brother are the most miserable people you could ever meet. They whinge and whine about every little thing about parent hood, they crib about their lack of freedom😳
Seriously, lack of freedom that you both out on yourself! They crib about how all their friends have deserted them but in reality it's them who deserted their friends.🙈
We, my hubby and I, I must admit cherish every minute of family time, why whinge and whine about missing out on life due to revolving around nap times when we just get in with life as before and love every bit of it, this is what life is all about, living!!! Not restricting.
You sound defensive but obviously it's because you are resentful of your rigid life but to be honest, it really doesn't have to be like that, you can actually live and go with the flow without the boring schedules, it can work, u just need to relax a little and everything still falls into place whether or not you are an uptight schedule follower or a do with the flow type of person. [/quote]
@navydear You do realise that all babies are different, though? Surely? I think it's great a free flowing day works best for your family, but it doesn't for mine. My baby having an hour nap at predictable times twice a day and an earlyish bedtime works great for us, as I've said. I don't feel restricted by it at all, infact it really helps plan our day out, especially meal times and outings. I get scheduled breaks and a clock off time 😁 My baby is hard work, I love my time with him, but it is challenging. I have basically no support at all with him 90% of the time, and so when he's asleep it's my time to relax and have some time for myself. Why do you feel like people doing things differently to you means they must be miserable or uptight? I've tried things your way, it didn't work for us.

This whole thread consists of people saying do what works for you, sod everyone else... except you? You're being uptight about insisting your way is the best way for everyone. I have some people like you in my extended family, and they aren't people I make time for, to be honest.

We had some right old bedtimes until I started waiting until he was actually tired. I'm still very suspicious of people who say a kid can't sleep because they're overtired - I'm sure it's a thing, but mine conks when he's tired. His Dad and I are both night owls. He gets enough sleep for his age. He was also breastfed until an age I'm sure most mumsnetters would recoil in horror at - I stopped because I was done, he was mildly disgruntled but no drama. Coslept. Used a sling which helped but at times I wish I'd not been so militant about that specific thing, because sometimes it was a bit of a sensory nightmare for me!! We're awaiting assessment for various neurodiversities, pretty sure he would have had a rougher time of everything if I'd attempted some kind of bending to the will of some random authority. It baffles me a bit that people don't think kids' own bodies know how to eat and sleep for themselves (with caveats and exceptions, obviously...)

Additionally, if anyone reading this wants some evidence to back up an approach that is a bit more child led, highly recommend this person. Pretty sure she does online consultations (based in Sheffield). www.understandingkids.co.uk/