Page 3 | Is it normal to feel a bit jealous of your kids?

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inmyslippers · 26/03/2022 08:32

Not jealous but I am very sad my childhood isn't as nice. He doesn't want for anything, lots of fun activities, attention and a clean home. I never had any of that

wdtaBruno · 26/03/2022 08:40

No. Seeing my children live a happy, (mostly) stress free life brings me immense happiness. They do activities I could only have dreamed of as a child. I'm pleased they have these opportunities.

WeRTheOnesWeHaveBeenWaitingFor · 26/03/2022 08:43

No, if anything I have to stop myself living a little vicariously through my children, I love seeing them happy and successful.

MysteriousMonkey · 26/03/2022 08:47

No I don't. Pissed off with them for being entitled pains in my arse quite often but never jealous. I wouldn't want to be a teenager again ever and I had a fairly happy childhood. Just want them to grow up and move out so I can have a second childhood 😂

Mommabear20 · 26/03/2022 08:47

I understand what you mean but I wouldn't say that I'm jealous of them. As adults we make the decisions on where we work, which we marry and if we have kids or not. Believe me I know things don't always work out the way we pictured but that possibility comes with those decisions

PeacefulPrune · 26/03/2022 08:48

It sounds like you need some more joy in your life. Can you carve out some space on a regular basis to do something you enjoy and can look forward to?

Do you want to look for a different job? Could that be an option?

Do you think theres room to make some improvements in your marriage?

Could you and your husband do something fun together each week?

Goatinthegarden · 26/03/2022 08:48

DH’s dad finds it hard to be happy for DH. He hated having children and seems to hate that his son is successful in a field he wanted to be successful in. He’s always very down on the things we do, places we go and what we buy. We have chosen not to have children and he even seems annoyed about that, despite not wanting grandchildren from us. I think it’s some sort of jealousy that we don’t have the same ties that he had.

He’s very different with DH’s sister as she requires a lot of emotional and financial support from her parents.

MrsSkylerWhite · 26/03/2022 08:49

No. Don’t understand that at all.

Robin843 · 26/03/2022 08:52

No, never felt jealous of our children. We always wanted the best for them and to be honest they had a charmed childhood, unlike me and my husband. They're jealous of us now though as they're busy raising their babies, with all the associated grind, and we're clicking our heels and having a blast in semi retirement! 😄 (we do give them lots of help though!)

zoemum2006 · 26/03/2022 08:55

God no! They’re going to be teenagers soon and I wouldn’t wish that on anybody.

I love being boring old comfortable 40-something me.

It was great being a kid but you don’t stay that way forever.

WulyJmpr · 26/03/2022 08:55

@ElfinsMum

My eldest DD is now 11. I keep catching myself feeling rather jealous of her enjoyable life. For example, this morning she went to the beach with family friends and they went paddle boarding and snorkeling (we live in Aus). I stayed at home and did childcare / cleaning because DS is isolating.

Overall, her life revolves around friends, sport, entertaining her baby sister when she feels like it, and having an absolutely awesome last year at primary school. My life is 4 days per week at work doing a job that no one would love but I need to do to pay for her high school fees, an average marriage and domestic/childcare drudgery.

Maybe my mum felt exactly the same when I was 11?? Maybe DD1 will be me in 30 years?!

Anyone prepared to admit they felt like this and found a way to kick it?

No this isn't normal. You should be happy for your daughter.

My gran has always been a very jealous person. She came down hard on my dad and also myself when I was a teenager as she was jealous of the opportunities we had.

It's always been there in the background and I'll never forget the horrible things she's said to me to destroy my confidence. It was horrible as a young person to realise that a person who I thought would build me up and look out for me was actually doing the opposite.

My point is that your feelings may snowball and can be very damaging to your daughter when she beces aware of your envy so you may want to try to reframe your feelings and quickly.

Eyeplayer · 26/03/2022 08:58

No not at all. I genuinely want the best for them and if they are happy and having great experiences I am happy.

I do get frustrated when they don’t appreciate how lucky they are to have experiences I would have given my right arm for at that age but definitely not jealousy of their current life compared to mine

DogsAndGin · 26/03/2022 09:02

Currently TTC and don’t have kids. But, I used to not want children at all, for exactly your reasoning. My logic was, ‘I am someone’s child’ - all adults are born to someone who wanted them to go and live an amazing life - not to give up this amazing opportunity to live a fabulous life, and have kids and so the cycle continues.

However, I have now found a job which I love, and have a very good work/life balance. I no longer feel that having a child would mean I need to sacrifice all of my time/hobbies/interests.

VeryMuchFlaggingMinty · 26/03/2022 09:04

@MysteriousMonkey

No I don't. Pissed off with them for being entitled pains in my arse quite often but never jealous. I wouldn't want to be a teenager again ever and I had a fairly happy childhood. Just want them to grow up and move out so I can have a second childhood 😂

🤣🤣🤣

Although it's fairly imminent for me so this time next year I'll probably be on here whining about empty next syndrome!

CaMePlaitPas · 26/03/2022 09:04

That's exactly the type of life an 11 year old should have. Kids should be happy and carefree.

CaMePlaitPas · 26/03/2022 09:05

If anything I'm jealous of my parents

ldontWanna · 26/03/2022 09:09

I am a bit. So is one of my friends. We were both neglected and abused in various ways as children. I think it's more that we wish we had parents like us and be able to be carefree,have friends and so on.I take absolute joy in my kid and her happiness, I always strive to be and do better as a parent but there's always a small part of me that thinks "I wish it was me".

arethereanyleftatall · 26/03/2022 09:09

IME though, whilst I've never known anyone to be jealous of their children when they are children, I do think once these children become adults, it seems a bit more normal.
No idea when the cross over age is - 20, 30?
For example my DM can't seem to handle the fact that I'm a happy divorcee. It appears she would prefer me to have been a miserable married like she is. But when I was an actual child, I'm sure she just wanted me to be happy.

aSofaNearYou · 26/03/2022 09:11

You should be happy for your daughter.

But OP didn't say she doesn't feel happy for her.

I think people are massively jumping to the conclusion that by jealous, she means resentful.

HalloHello · 26/03/2022 09:15

I'm not jealous of my kids because I had the same life as them growing up, I've had my amazing fun childhood, my confusing but mad teen years, my wild uni years and my full time work years, now I am a Mum and it's my turn to provide my kids with all the joy and fun I had.

Robin233 · 26/03/2022 09:17

@ComDummings

I can’t relate to that, I think my children are the only people I could never feel jealous of. I want them to have everything and more.
^^^
THIS totally
Apart from the fact happiness is an inside job....
You need to work on your own happiness
I had a bit of a jealous mum - I am slim.
It was the only thing I felt she approved off and am still working on all the guilt.
Where is the OP?
There has been a couple of threads recently like this.
Op has 1 question and then disappears
What a that all about ?

Cisforcamel · 26/03/2022 09:18

@DogsAndGin I no longer feel that having a child would mean I need to sacrifice all of my time/hobbies/interests

Sorry to burst your bubble, but that is exactly what having a child does. Mine are now 10&8 and I’d say I’ve got my life back over the last 18 months. I do know a few women who seemingly return to some sort of normality sooner, but the vast majority of us muddle along in a haze for years. If you haven’t read ‘hurrah for gin’ I suggest you do. It’s very funny……but it’s all true.

LittleBearPad · 26/03/2022 09:19

No, I’m not.

I was quite jealous of my cat yesterday however curled up in the sun

Mol1628 · 26/03/2022 09:22

Gosh no. They’ve got a lot of hard times ahead of them. I wouldn’t want to be a teenager/young adult again. I was miserable as a teenager.

I’m trying to make their childhood as happy as possible but I wouldn’t want to go back to that myself

RowanAlong · 26/03/2022 09:23

I think you wouldn’t feel jealous if you could squeeze in some more time for yourself to do something you enjoy..is there a way you could do this?

Is it normal to feel a bit jealous of your kids?

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