Is it normal to ask for a night off?

[ckw439]

Feeling very very guilty and like an awful mum tonight. I’m a single mummy, I have my mum staying over helping me out with the little one (she’s 6 days old) and she’s MASSIVELY taking the pressure off for me at the moment. I am recovering from a c-section so it’s been really difficult. Today I’m feeling really rubbish and my body is hurting, after all I’m recovering from a major operation, so I asked her if she would mind having my daughter overnight tonight in the next room to relieve a bit of pressure and allow me a night to recover and feel a bit more myself again. I probably wouldn’t have stuck the night out and would’ve caved and got her back in my room but I thought I’d ask anyway. She made me feel really guilty and laughed at me like I was silly for even suggesting it. I appreciate her help a lot anyway, she’s gone above and beyond this last week and I’m just a bit upset that she would judge me for asking for a little break. In an ideal world I would have my partner here helping me and giving me that break so I feel I shouldn’t feel guilty for suggesting it but now I just feel awful and like the worst mum in the world :( I’m not am i? 💔

5 weeks past c section here! As soon as my baby sleeps or has fed and can go with my husband, I lie down and make myself go to sleep right away. No playing on my phone or faffing around. Lie down and close eyes. I almost instantly fall asleep and I do this all the time. Its a life saver.
Another lifesaver is that I have been sleeping in the living room since I got home from the hospital. The sofa is very comfy and I have a station of nappies, wipes, spare clothes, snacks etc. When baby is up in the night I can stick something on TV and get something to eat from the kitchen. Psychologically I found it hard to be up feeding when I was in bed as it felt too much like 'I should be sleeping right now!'. Now when I'm in the living room, I just accept it and have some nice moments in the wee hours watching good stuff on TV and munching on my snacks. I feel shattered quite a lot but since I started the day time napping and have my 'mum cave' in the living room, things are much more bearable.

Not unreasonable to ask IMO. Could you afford a night nanny or babysitter for one night? No harm will come to baby and this martyrdom of "you've had a baby, no breaks allowed" is unnecessary and not beneficial for anyone.

There's a reason they say it takes a village. I'm so glad you have that sort of support available, use it and don't feel guilty - ignore anyone who reels you otherwise. My son is now 18 months old and my buggest regret is running myself into the ground and not getting help when I needed it, it meant I wasn't as present as I wanted to be with my boy as I was in a haze of exhaustion, frustration, loneliness and anger. Thankfully things are much better now but I'm here to tell you you're a wonderful mum and it is a strength not a weakness to notice when you need some support.

God what's wrong with people. If DiL had a baby I help out any way I could.

I do think its a bit early to be having nights off. Your baby needs you. Plenty time for nights off when she's older and more settled. And I've done the single mum from day dot, twice so I do know

@MissMaple82

I do think its a bit early to be having nights off. Your baby needs you. Plenty time for nights off when she's older and more settled. And I've done the single mum from day dot, twice so I do know

Old news this now. As I've said I feel like I was having a moment of weakness. Wouldn't dream of asking for a night off now, she's nearly three weeks old now :)