Do your children play on their own? Mine do not - aged 5 and 3 - and it is really beginning to get on my nerves.

[Oliveoil]

Constant, CONSTANT mithering and pestering

they have tons of toys, get lots of attention but I do not want to play with them all the feckin time

how can I get them to feck off and play on their own?

They follow me around when I am trying to get stuff done, when I am trying to have a conversation with dh - even when I bellow I AM TALKING!!!! they just wait 2 seconds and then say mummmmmmmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

please help before I buy myself a shed with a lock on the door

I also think it does get better with age, it really does. 3 is a funny age anyway. I don't think any 3 year old is ever easy.

DD has made some inroads into playing with her babies recently. I was utterly the first time she did it. But we still very often hear echoing around the house.

And we will be in the kitchen and I will go upstairs to get a wash load and she follows me but I am on my way back down by the time she is half way up. Then I stick the load on and take some dry stuff up to put away and she has just got back to the bottom. Well that was more when she was 2 - she can keep up with me now.

And I am forever having to change Baby Annabel's nappy or mix Boy Baby Born some food or find one of their dodies. More trouble than my own babies were - they didn't even have sodding dummies to lose!

stair gates. wonderful things.

also reccommend 100x hand waving to indicate fun with mummy will be forthcoming at some undefined point in the future..

ime there is a exponential graph type effect of increased mithering, squabbling, whinging and general 'I cannot do anything without your assistance' and then you reach a thresh hold (stay upstairs behind stair gate as this is reaching its zenith) and suddenly, they start to play wonderful, involving and imaginative games without your assistance.

you need the stairgate though.

MIL told dd2 she was being a pain the other day and she said "Yes Grandma I am a pain in the arse."

no IDEA where she got that from...

Glad tis not just me than Olive.

Happy New Year btw

I set up my laptop at the table and "work"

God help me when DD learns to read next year, "Mum, what is MN? Do you work there?"

Btw, DD goes for a lie down while DS is having his lunchtime nap. She has a walkmann with story tapes and she will lie on her bed for 30mins or an hour and listen to that. Sometimes she even falls asleep

My DSs go through phases. DS2 particularly is very good at playing by himself but he has days when won't let me do anything without wanting to sit on my lap or play with him or just drap himself over me.

DS1 is older now and therefore not that bothered but used to demand I read books to him for hours at a time and he went through a particularly annoying time when he was about 5 when I wasn't allowed out of the room without him following me. If I did manage to leg it upstairs for some washing or a moments peace, he would stand in the hall bellowing 'Mummy where are you'. I would tell him I was upstairs, why did he want to know? and he would say he didn't want anything just wanted to know where I was. And then he would do the same thing again 2 minutes later like I might just have abseiled out of the bedroom window and headed for the hills. Maddening.

They do grow out of it if it is any consolation.

The irony is that the more they clamour for attention the more I end up trying to escape all the time. If they weren't so demanding, I would be more than happy to give them 20 minutes of every hour, for example, but the constant badgering just makes me want to run.

lol@ Daisymoo

Hmm I don't tend to say 'Go away'

I might say "I really need to do the washing up, you can stand on your chair and watch if you like, or you CAN GO AND MAKE YOUR DOLLIES DINNER WITH THIS PACKET OF DRIED PASTA"

and they both disappear, hahahaha

and I win

I also make them tidy up before they start another activity, so this incentivises them to play longer with one thing at a time - nursery drummed this in too, thank the Lord, so they are pretty good at it

I am lucky that my groung floor is reasonably open plan, and there is a conservatory where they play most of the time, next to the kitchen.

Ditto Nursery being great at teaching 'Tidy-up time'

Nursery probably helps - mine have always done 2 days a week - teaches them independent play, by definition

Parents with dcs who can occupy themselves for reasonable periods of time, please appreciate How Lucky You Are.

Life is very different for parents of dcs who cannot or will not.

My dh and I have to do tag parenting at all times - one does chores, the other entertains the children. One takes them out, the other eats their lunch. This is on weekends. I pay for ft childcare, whilst working pt, otherwise Nothing Gets Done in the house during the week. They are impervious to reason or distraction or any toy known to man. And they will only be happy doing activities of their choice, so forget about including them in chores or cooking.

They are difficult on their own, and compete for our attention when together.

The upside is we are never short of cuddles in this household. Their need for parental attention and affection is insatiable, if you go for this sort of thing. I personally quite like my own company.

Funnily, both go to fulltime nursery/school from 1 year's old, where they are great at entertaining themselves, sociable and hugely independent.

But once they get home ...

My ds either plays alone fantastically, or bothers me all day, chattering on about anything and nothing.

Vaccinated with a gramaphone needle as my Dad used to say.

blueshoes if they play really well at nursery but not with you, there is surely some sort of solution.... ? I mean they are proving that they are not pathologically in need of constant attention...

you have my SYMPATHIES btw, your life sounds like HELL!

yes, morningpaper, it is enough to drive me back into work without a backward glance.

They defy logical solutions. We have tried everything. Hiding from them seems the best - the baby (ds) will climb upstairs looking for me from room to room. Dd 4 lifts her arms up to me whilst I am cooking beseeching, pleading. Ignoring them would mean hysterics, writhing on the floor tantrums and wading through a low surf.

They are lovely but Will Not Be Ignored!

Well at least there is Work

One thing I learned in school is the concept of "Choose Time" for littlies. They get to choose what they want to play with or work at (usually afetr doing something that they are not quite so keen on and to let the teacher concentrate on something else for a few mins).

So I tried it on my squabbling threesome, dragged them upstairs to their open toy cupboards and said its Choose time, and they all miraculously chose a toy brought it downstairs and played with it for a good hour.

And they all acted like they had won the lottery or something!!!

What I do if things get desperate is to make a cup of tea and refuse to in any way interact until the cup of tea has been drunk.

They are actually pretty good at entertaining themselves though, which I must admit I always assumed was because they had never really been to nursery, so opposite of MP's experience.

GOD I am bloody lucky actually. On non-snowy mornings, it is quite possible for me to open the garden door and just let them pootle around out there for an hour or two. (please note our garden is the size of a rabbit hutch). And then they might wander back in, get themselves some food from the fridge, and engage in a complex game involving runaway popcorn. I actually spend a lot of time feeling guilty that I don't do Educational Things with them more.

I have no excuse for my house looking like crap really, do I?

I clearly need to take notes here. Dd (2.5) requires my presence at all times and will not be ignored. We tag-team parent all weekend too. Being an only and going to nursery cheerfully 3 days/week have made no impact on our velcro child.

My hear does truly sink at the thought of Play-doh.

No doubt I have Brought This On Myself.

my 2 like to have me around but that generally means me sitting on the sofa with my laptop & mn. they will go happily off & play in ds's room (he's almost 6, dd is 2.5) though i have to keep an ear out for them trashing the house. leaping off sofas is popular. and the best game this holiday has been school, with ds as teacher & dd as pupil (dressed in ds's cast off uniform. hilarious). they played it for about 2 hours with no intervention.

I can definitely relate to this. If I gave dd1(6) and ds(4) attention 24 hours a day they would want 25. But I think things have improved a bit, maybe because they are getting older and now both at school (hooray!), but I have also done the following:

(1) Had dd2. They have learnt I'm often busy with her and mostly accept it and find her quite interesting (apart from the odd comment, like dd1 today - "I wish I was the youngest then I would be your specialest". Straight for the jugular there).

(2) Have a strict routine. e.g. upstairs and play while I am cooking, no arguments, do it every day, if they come down, straight back up. "If you want dinner you have to let me cook it".

(3)Close your eyes! I worked out that if I sit with my eyes closed they think I'm sleeping! You can't hear them!

And a sneaky one for weekends and school hols...I put the TV on while I'm having a shower, take my book into the bathroom and lock the door! Ignore them if they bang on the door - "I can't hear you right now darling, the shower's running!"

You have my sympathy. I swear my dd1 is the only child ever to stand next to me in at the soft play and ask "What can I do Mummy?" She also corners adults who visit our home and who are too polite to tell her to go away.

I have now moved away from UK to Holland and find a very different attitude prevails - children are expected to entertain themselves most of the time and parents never seem to feel bad about it. I think there's so much pressure on parents to be everything to their kids.

Good Luck!

I can definitely relate to this. If I gave dd1(6) and ds(4) attention 24 hours a day they would want 25. But I think things have improved a bit, maybe because they are getting older and now both at school (hooray!), but I have also done the following:

(1) Had dd2. They have learnt I'm often busy with her and mostly accept it and find her quite interesting (apart from the odd comment, like dd1 today - "I wish I was the youngest then I would be your specialest". Straight for the jugular there).

(2) Have a strict routine. e.g. upstairs and play while I am cooking, no arguments, do it every day, if they come down, straight back up. "If you want dinner you have to let me cook it".

(3)Close your eyes! I worked out that if I sit with my eyes closed they think I'm sleeping! You can't hear them!

And a sneaky one for weekends and school hols...I put the TV on while I'm having a shower, take my book into the bathroom and lock the door! Ignore them if they bang on the door - "I can't hear you right now darling, the shower's running!"

You have my sympathy. I swear my dd1 is the only child ever to stand next to me in at the soft play and ask "What can I do Mummy?" She also corners adults who visit our home and who are too polite to tell her to go away.

I have now moved away from UK to Holland and find a very different attitude prevails - children are expected to entertain themselves most of the time and parents never seem to feel bad about it. I think there's so much pressure on parents to be everything to their kids.

Good Luck!

oops, clicked twice.