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Original poster

Husband keeps kissing baby with cold sore

83 replies

HelterSkelter224 · 09/02/2022 17:46

I'm in an absolute panic - my husband keeps kissing our 2 month baby despite having an active cold sore. He keeps saying I'm overreacting and his cold sore is gone (it isn't). I've sent him links and screenshots as he doesn't believe me how serious this is and he is just being so stubborn, I have no idea why. I don't know what the hell to do!!!

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Lottle · 09/02/2022 17:49

I have no relevant experience but do not think you are overreacting. Is he just instinctively kissing her, forgetting, then getting defensive as he knows he's in the wrong? Could something be done to remind him? I have no idea what. A sticker on her Babygrow?! A cross on her cheek with eye liner?! This is probably ridiculous but hopefully you get the idea. Sorry this is happening x

Original poster
HelterSkelter224 · 09/02/2022 17:53

No, I'm not overreacting - cold sores in newborns can be fatal and when it's that important he shouldn't be forgetting.

OP posts:
eurochick · 09/02/2022 17:53

He's a fucking idiot.

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Userblabla · 09/02/2022 17:53

You’re not over reacting OP. A family friend had a DC who caught the virus from a Grandparent kissing them as a baby, they ended up brain damaged and lived in a nursing home until they caught another virus a few years ago and passed away. My cousin caught it as a toddler and couldn’t eat or drink for days because their mouth was full of sores inside and out, DC was in hospital on a drip for days. It’s really serious and really dangerous, as you already know. I’d be going absolutely mental if this was my child!! He’s an idiot.

BellatrixOnABadDay · 09/02/2022 17:54

You aren't overreacting- this is really horrible if him tbh.

As someone who gets cold sores, I have always gone so, so careful to avoid passing them to my kids. Yes it might happen by accident, I know I've kissed my DS on the cheek first thing in the morning before it was obvious I had one. But if I realise, I don't kiss them, wash my hands constantly, do anything basically to avoid them having any kind of contact with the cold sore.

My kids are 9 and 7 and I still do this, never mind newborns.

BellatrixOnABadDay · 09/02/2022 17:55

*of him not if

Userblabla · 09/02/2022 17:55

I never kissed mine on the face at all when they were tiny, ever, only on their head. I’d be telling him that’s the rule now and he isn’t to forget or you’ll forget your married and be changing the locks!

Original poster
HelterSkelter224 · 09/02/2022 17:59

@eurochick

He's a fucking idiot.
I have to agree with you, I am so, so angry and so confused as to why he won't take this seriously. Why the fuck would I make this up? I honestly have a good mind to take the baby and leave
OP posts:
ajandjjmum · 09/02/2022 18:02

I had a massive cold sore when DD was tiny, and our GP warned me to be extra careful as it could be lethal to the baby.

SummerHouse · 09/02/2022 18:05

You are right, he is wrong, no question. But why so stubborn? Has he form for not listening to you? I think you need a long talk about this. Even if he doesn't agree (wrong!!) why not do the simple thing of NOT KISSING THE BABY rather than stress you out so much you are even thinking of taking the baby away! Something is amiss.

Mooloolabababy · 09/02/2022 18:05

It's dangerous and really fucking selfish. He's a prick. I'd be furious!

endofagain · 09/02/2022 18:07

Speak to your Health Visitor asap. They will tell him.

SummerHouse · 09/02/2022 18:09

Have you showed him the NHS guidance? Specifically says don't kiss a baby if you have a cold soar and sets out the risks to a baby. www.nhs.uk/conditions/neonatal-herpes/

Stripyhoglets1 · 09/02/2022 18:09

Can you go stay elsewhere until his sore is healed.

I get them and I'm so careful around others peoples children - I didn't get them when mine were babies luckily.

DoubleChinWoes2 · 09/02/2022 18:09

Can you leave and go to a family members house for a few days?

BewareTheBeardedDragon · 09/02/2022 18:21

My ds got the cold sore virus as a newborn and was in intensive care for 7 weeks. He was fighting for his life and at one point we were told to prepare for the worst. He pulled through but had to continue on antivirals for 2 years.

It's not a joke and he could kill your child. He MUST be given a shock and made to stop.

Under 6 months it can, as you say, be fatal. The consultant who treated my ds told us he had lost babies to it before.

ButterflyBitch · 09/02/2022 18:24

So he’s prepared to risk his tiny baby’s life? I’d be kicking him out quite frankly.

Spudina · 09/02/2022 18:25

My husband kissed D2 on the cheek when he had a cold sore. We didn’t know it but she had eczema on her cheek. She got systemic herpes (eczema Herpaticum) and we had to take her to hospital. Luckily she was fine after a dose of oral antivirals but we we were lucky as it can be fatal.
He needs to stop. Period.

Emanchego · 09/02/2022 18:29

What a stupid man.

Original poster
HelterSkelter224 · 09/02/2022 18:34

[quote SummerHouse]Have you showed him the NHS guidance? Specifically says don't kiss a baby if you have a cold soar and sets out the risks to a baby. www.nhs.uk/conditions/neonatal-herpes/[/quote]
Yes I have 😢 I really don't know why he's being like this. It's really making me think of him differently.

I just hope to god she hasn't caught it from him 😢😢😢

OP posts:
StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 09/02/2022 18:39

Its your job to protect her. He is showing you what order he thinks your boundaries, her needs and his wants.

Has he ever dismissed your knowledge before? Crossed boundaries? Undermined you? Made you doubt your abilities?

alisoninwonderland · 09/02/2022 18:40

I'd go and stay elsewhere - hotel if need be

Soubriquet · 09/02/2022 18:43

My mum suffers from cold sores and was very strict about not kissing us when we were kids so we didn’t catch it.

As it is, I’m not an adult and I’ve never had this virus.

He’s an idiot and he’s stupidity is going to harm your child one day if he isn’t even willing to stop kissing her until he’s clean

tulips27 · 09/02/2022 18:45

Please stop him, while many people only have mild cold sores others like me are not so lucky. Nowadays I often get unwell when I have one, the older I have got the worse it has got. I get a headache and have to lie down and get antivirals from the doctor and I get brain fog, not to mention the huge deformed and painful sores. And of course they turn up at the worst time, disfiguring you when you're stressed e.g. before a friend's wedding, before my 21st, when on a nice holiday.

tulips27 · 09/02/2022 18:47

I caught them as a baby so I get them all inside my nose and across the whole area between my nose and mouth, because as a child I didn't understand about not spreading it.