Parenting trends you dislike?

[Avreil]

I would say ones that pass their experiences from childhood onto their children.

I don't like parenting trends full stop. On looking on here at the thread about weird rules people had growing up it just shows how many bizarre things are done just because of the culture at the time. They are done not because they are necessarily right in themselves but because of current cultural prejudices. This really comes to light when comparing the modern day with the past. I also think different individual children have different strengths and weaknesses so what works for one won't necessarily work for another - no matter the culture at the time.

Oh and a gentle approach to sleep, I looked after twins and them being sleep trained was a godsend. I know another nanny who has to have the child fall asleep on her (still does it now at nearly 3) and then goes running wild when they finally fall asleep trying to get everything else done. Red flag for me when job hunting.

And so many mornings she comes in to the parents complaining of their 4 hours sleep because they bring the child into bed with them the moment they wake at night 🤪

Handing your toddler an iPhone any time they exhibit any sort of dissatisfaction or want your attention in any way. God knows what this is doing to children.

Not sure if it's still trendy but all the crap around developmental leaps / Wonder Weeks is a bit What's wrong with calling it "just a phase'?

Parents who judge other peoples parenting.

@Moonface123

Expecting little boys to sit quiet, just like the girls, and judging them when they don' t, boys have tons more energy.

While generally I agree, I've met a fair number of girls who are like this too - they tend to be judged much more harshly than the boys though from an earlier age . A high-energy girl is often viewed as wilful and 'deficient' since they don't even have the 'boys will be boys' excuse.

Age-inappropriate expectations full-stop. The idea that a sedentary child who finds it easy to sit still on a chair for long periods is a 'good' child.

The most annoying parenting trend is to totally disregard education professionals when they feed back on behaviour, thereby rendering in class discipline pointless if open to debate.

@Moonface123 are you being serious? I really hope you’re joking. “Boys will be boys” or even worse #boymom is just reinforcing outdated stereotypes- that girls should be quiet and demure but it’s ok for boys to be boisterous because “they have more energy”. Really, do they? Genetically they have more energy because they have a penis?!

Never-ending snacking then wondering why the children aren't hungry for their meals.

Over-sharing on social media.

@DoucheCanoe

Anything that involves making it an extreme lifestyle i.e. attachment parenting or the military routine trained method.

Just go with the flow and do what suits you/your child and realise that some aspects may work for one whilst others are like pissing in the wind!

What if attachment parenting or strict routines do suit the parent in question .... 🤔

Over sharing on facebook. Two children I know of have no privacy at all.

Expecting little boys to sit quiet, just like the girls, and judging them when they don' t, boys have tons more energy.

What a ridiculous comment!

Expecting little boys to sit quiet, just like the girls, and judging them when they don' t, boys have tons more energy

My DS likes reading books and playing with a tea set. His same age female cousin likes throwing herself off sofas and cupboards. This old fashioned patriarchal stereotype doesn’t hold.

@Moonface123

Expecting little boys to sit quiet, just like the girls, and judging them when they don' t, boys have tons more energy.

I wonder when this runs out, because I feel like I'm expected to have infinitely more energy than my husband.

@Kitkatchunkyplease 🤣🤣🤣🙌
Best comment!

I wonder when this runs out, because I feel like I'm expected to have infinitely more energy than my husband.

Brilliant

@Oatsamazing
I came here to say exactly this.

Judging and commenting on others parenting.

Babies being given phones to keep them occupied.

Parents who judge other peoples parenting

I agree. I have a friend who's DC has ADHD and is also autistic and a screen at the table sometimes is helpful. A lot of Mumsnetters would obviously judge them for this.

The idea that parenting actually matters in the long term. If you raise your children within a wide range of normal avoiding abuse and neglect then they’ll likely turn out ok within the range of functional adults.

People who think their parenting has anything to do with how their child behaves need to get over themselves. Children like adults have personalities all their own, if you want to follow a recipe and get a result, go bake a cake.

@AliceW89

Both supposed proponents and critics of gentle/responsive parenting not getting that it 100% means boundaries, saying no to your child and allowing them to cry. Proper gentle parenting isn’t at all permissive.

God yes. I used to comment back on posts in the gentle parenting facebook groups I'm in telling people it's OK to say no/set boundaries/hear your child cry, but I had to stop because it was just too much. I see so many post where parents claim to have never said "no" to their child like it is a badge of honour, and now their child won't go to school/won't eat anything but straight butter and oranges and can't understand why.

@Sausagesausagesausage

"Gentle hands" Mostly when used by little Hugo's mum who doesn't care that he's just thumped every other child at playgroup and now no one wants to play with him. Pick him up and take him out.

This made me laugh.

A little "Hugo" was hitting DS repeatedly at a play group. DS was coping well (he has an older sister) but when the mother finally realised what her darling cherub was doing she trilled "No, Hugo, we don't hit people who are smaller than us"
She was heavily pregnant so I assume her odd wording was only designed to stop little Hugo thumping his new baby sibling.

How about "Hugo! Don't hit anyone. If I see you do that again we're going straight home." then carry out your threat - it doesn't matter if you really wanted to catch up with your friend, parent your bloody child!

“You got this Mama”

@Moonface123

Expecting little boys to sit quiet, just like the girls, and judging them when they don' t, boys have tons more energy.

You know, I have found this to be true. Usually in families where little to no effort is made to get their sons to be quiet/sit down/stop clobbering their little sister because "boys will be boys".

@Moonface123

Expecting little boys to sit quiet, just like the girls, and judging them when they don' t, boys have tons more energy.