My two year old just made me cry in Tesco

[Yebbie]

I'm pregnant, being sick a lot and feeling generally rubbish. Went into Tesco, he refused to go in a trolley, wanted to walk. Ok fair enough, got in and he just started trying to run off. Picked him up and he screamed at me to put him down, put him down and he ran off again, picked him back up, he weighs a fair amount at this point so I'm struggling trying to carry him and a basket, feeling like shit, he starts screaming SHUT UP MUMMY, PUT ME DOWN MUMMY, SHUT UP MUMMY, YUCKY MUMMY at the top of his voice. I tell him calmly you don't speak to people like that, that isn't nice. He swings his fists at my face "SHUT UP MUMMY SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP" pulling fistfuls of my hair, biting my arm trying to get me to put him down. I abandoned my basket and walked out in tears.

It makes me feel like such a failure the way people were looking at me. He is normally a sweet boy, I don't know where he's learnt shut up as we never say things like that to him, ever. He started crying when we got back in the car saying sorry mummy, mummy go back shop, tried going in a different one on the way out of town as I didn't manage to get anything for dinner in the first shop and he bloody did it again. Had to walk out again of this shop without anything. Strapped in his car seat and the whole way home he screamed at the top of his lungs shut up mummy, yucky mummy, go in the bin mummy

I got home threw up and then went upstairs to cry, left him with dh. I feel really gutted by it, like I've really failed?

@Fridafever

Mine was generally extremely chilled and well behaved but once in Waitrose when he was about three he grabbed a pot of cream off the shelf and threw it on the floor. I squatted down to him and said “why did you do that?” to which he replied “BECAUSE I IS A BAD MAN” and head butted me.

Its a complete outlier from his childhood. Honestly sometimes you just have to accept they’re nuts. I definitely cried at the time by the way!

Sorry but this really made me laugh hahhaa

It's a normal reaction to look, probably feeling sorry for you. I'd take a buggy next time or reins

Aah op that sounds really tough. I saw a lady with a little one the other day who was being a bit mean to her mum and we were sat quite close together. I was looking over in sympathy and trying to give her a supportive look whilst hoping she didn't think I was judging. I don't think they were looking at you to judge. 2 year olds can be devils sometimes especially when they're tired xx

Tesco etc deliver you know. I never go to supermarket.

As an also pregnant mum of a 2 year old I have no useful advice I’m just sending you a big hug. They are beautiful little loonies and if I’d seen you I’d have thought look at that lovely mum living my life!
It’s the age not personality I bet he’s a little corker. I hope you have a lovely tea and an early night tomorrow is a new day! 💗

Trolley seat only for supermarket
It just doesn't work having them walking or running while you shop

Believe me, no one would have been judging you. Most of us would have wanted to offer help but feel unable to intrude.

DS2 when he was 2 shouted "I'M NOT PUTTING MY TOYS IN THE DAMN CRATE!" when I asked him to. I have no idea where he got damn from! He's now a lovely 14yo.

@GrandmasCat

I’m sorry Op, but who is telling your child to shut up? The way he is saying it makes me think someone is not being nice to him, check with the nursery, children don’t learn this on their own.

Unfortunately nurseries can't control what other dc say. I've heard a lot worse than shut up in my years working with nursery - age 6

Also been there

I think it's useful to think of tantrums as a partly chemical thing. Once they're underway, your child will have a big surge of adrenalin or cortisol or whatever it is and you need to allow time for that to subside.

Most of the time saying you're being rude etc is not going to work, your child is trying to communicate something to you (usually I'm tired or I feel something was unfair). It's an emotional thing, don't try to use logic and reason, allow time and space for the feelings to be expressed, however frustrating it may be.

DD had big tantrums when I was pregnant and also when sibling was a baby, she was 2.5 but I quickly got a second hand double pram because you can be really stuck with a baby in a sling or pram and a toddler thrashing on the floor.

I avoid shops with them to be honest. If they do kick off, you need to think: this won't last forever, A is the child kicking off and B is them calming down, how do I get from A to B? Try to stay calm and avoid taking things like yucky mummy personally.

Good luck!

Oh op, I feel you! I was 38 weeks pregnant when DS age 3 ran away from me in the park. I couldn't run so just plodded after till he got bored, about 10 minutes (it was a play park, then a woodlands. He wouldn't walk vzck so i hoisted him over my shoulder kicking and screaming.

All in view of someone from his baby group that is a perfectly 3 year old and her mum too. I cried all the way home!

We now have 5 week old DS and 3 year old DS. Older DS is very sweet with his little brother, but I'm very limited as to what I plan for us to do to when its the 3 of us to minimise chances of that happening again!

You have brought back memories of me being in Sainsbury’s with my 2.5 year old. I was 37 weeks pregnant, like an overtired whale, DD seemed fine so in we went. I’ve put a few things in my trolley and she started whinging and then trying to run off so I gave her the choice of walking and holding my hand or sitting in the trolley. She said she wanted to walk, so we start walking and then “NOT WALKING! GO IN TROLLEY!” Throws herself on the floor. Starts kicking and screaming. So I try to pick her up to put her in the trolley (like she asked!) and she’s kicking so much I can’t put her feet in. I also can’t lift her properly because I’m so pregnant. She’s hysterical by this point and lays flat on the floor screaming and kicking. I can already feel myself starting to cry so I resort to bribery and tell her that if she gets up and comes to the till with me she can have some chocolate buttons. This temporarily fixes things and she gets up off the floor and starts to toddle along next to me but Sod’s law we were the furthest point away in the shop from any chocolate that you could possibly be 🤦‍♀️ When no chocolate had appeared within about 20 seconds, she starts screaming and kicking on the floor again “CHOCOLATE! TROLLEY! WALKING! SAINSBEES!” over and over 😂 I finally gave up and had to abandon my trolley and pick her up and take her out. But because she kept trying to kick me and I was pregnant, I couldn’t carry her in a normal way because then she was kicking my bump so I had to carry her under my arm like a plank of wood, with her kicking and screaming SAINSBEES SAINSBEES SAINSBEES!! CHOCOLATE SAINSBEES!!

Definite parenting low point, I cried a lot! We’ve all been there.

@Incywinceyspider

Oh bless you. I'm pregnant with a 2 year old and some days are just awful. Don't blame yourself. Could you ask your DH to pop to the shop? Or leave DS at home with him so you can go in peace? DP does most of the shopping here for this exact reason!

^ Good advice here. It’s ok, if I had seen you in Tesco, I wouldn’t have judged I would have just felt sorry for you .I had two children under 2, .I know how tough it is.

I've said this before, toddlers are evil geniuses.

They know exactly what to say to hurt you, they have radar telling them you are having a bad day so they know to play up and if you happen to have a bolter or a climber then they could find their way out of fort Knox.

Then to top it off, they go to sleep and look like angels.

OP

I'm childless by choice, partly because I would be a crap parent. All of you who have managed to parent a toddler deserve a medal, those of you who manage pregnancy with a toddler (or 2) deserve gold medals.

We've all been there OP. I've cried in Sainsburys before too. Thankfully onlookers are usually sympathetic rather than judgemental. An older lady came over to me and asked if I was ok, which was lovely

@RobinPenguins

I remember a week when DD was 2 when I walked out of a different place every day with her under my arm like a furious surfboard.

You haven’t failed, and neither had I. I know “this too shall pass” isn’t always helpful when you’re in the thick of it, but it’s true.

Furious surfboard 😂😂😂

I currently only have a one year old. Just read the post and the comments

I just think everyone is blooming lovely. I'm not gonna pretend to relate but things go our way I'm hoping to be pregnant with a 2yo. I feel suitably warned.

I mean when I was pregnant I went to make a cup of hot chocolate after a grumpy day. Made it up. Last of the jar.

Realised I hadn't boiled the kettle. Hell, it was the end of my world.

So I mean...being pregnant with a 2yo in my eyes is a form of a superhero xxx