My two year old just made me cry in Tesco

[Yebbie]

I'm pregnant, being sick a lot and feeling generally rubbish. Went into Tesco, he refused to go in a trolley, wanted to walk. Ok fair enough, got in and he just started trying to run off. Picked him up and he screamed at me to put him down, put him down and he ran off again, picked him back up, he weighs a fair amount at this point so I'm struggling trying to carry him and a basket, feeling like shit, he starts screaming SHUT UP MUMMY, PUT ME DOWN MUMMY, SHUT UP MUMMY, YUCKY MUMMY at the top of his voice. I tell him calmly you don't speak to people like that, that isn't nice. He swings his fists at my face "SHUT UP MUMMY SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP" pulling fistfuls of my hair, biting my arm trying to get me to put him down. I abandoned my basket and walked out in tears.

It makes me feel like such a failure the way people were looking at me. He is normally a sweet boy, I don't know where he's learnt shut up as we never say things like that to him, ever. He started crying when we got back in the car saying sorry mummy, mummy go back shop, tried going in a different one on the way out of town as I didn't manage to get anything for dinner in the first shop and he bloody did it again. Had to walk out again of this shop without anything. Strapped in his car seat and the whole way home he screamed at the top of his lungs shut up mummy, yucky mummy, go in the bin mummy

I got home threw up and then went upstairs to cry, left him with dh. I feel really gutted by it, like I've really failed?

@Caspianberg

Could you keep a small pram in car for these times? When he’s tired after nursery, but you need to get basics. He’s only 2 still. Just strap him in, give him a snack to keep him going and ship in piece 10 mins

Yes, this. You can put shopping straight in a bag now (because of those shop and scan thingys) So clip a bag to your buggy and you don’t even have to worry about dragging the basket around.

@dementedma

Mine had a massive tantrum in a shop at that age. I tucked her firmly under my arm saying" Right, we'll just go back to the car" and she started screaming" Dont lock me in the car again! Dont hit me!". I was mortified!!! Surprised I wasnt arrested.

Ds (now 20) used to say "mummy please don't bite my head anymore" when I dropped him at nursery, sometimes he cried when he said it. No idea where it came from, I wasn't in the habit of biting his, or anyone's, head 😂. They know what buttons to push sometimes.

We’ve all been there. To echo others I would just be sympathising with you and thinking how completely normal and unreasonable toddlers can be!

I'm sorry that happened, you sound like a great mum. Tomorrow is another day 💙

FWIW this is what I'm thinking when I see a kid being difficult. People know you're doing your best.

I’m sorry Op, but who is telling your child to shut up? The way he is saying it makes me think someone is not being nice to him, check with the nursery, children don’t learn this on their own.

2yo did this in Lidl a couple of weeks back, took his shoes off and threw them, threw his fruit shoot, screamed the place down. He was also very tired, put him to bed when we got home and he was out like the light. He doesn't do it often but when he does he makes sure the whole shop turns to stare!

I remember when I was pregnant with DS, DD1 was 2yo and I had awful morning sickness. I had my head over the toilet being sick, and she was smacking my back screaming MUMMY'S NOT POORLY over and over and over..

for you OP, they do improve, I promise!

Pretty much the same thing happened to me when I was heavily pregnant and had my 18m old son, forgot a pound for the trolley and he just ran riot around Lidl. I felt so judged.

If I see it happening now I tell the mum what a good job she's doing as I remember the feeling well

Sounds like you're doing a brilliant job, we all have these days. It's ok, it's ok to cry about it too!!

I now have a 2 year old boy and almost 4 year old boy and it's still so wild but much easier at the same time

You're going to smash being a mum of two, don't let it get you down!

Definitely been there! Heavily pregnant and carrying a screaming small person like a surf board out the shops. It’s so hard not to take it personally. It’s really not.
The trick is to style it out and smile, wave, stick a thumbs up to anyone that does looks. Most of the time no one actually notices.
Hope you feel ok and have a good rest of your evening.

@Garman

Why take him with you if your DH was at home? This is why I do any shopping without dc who over 12-18 months whenever possible, because its setting yourself up for hell. But I would absolutely not tolerate being smacked and shouted at like that, I wouldn't have attempted a second shop at all and wouldn't be bringing him into one again for a very long time.

Because a lot of people may have to take the child with them! DH could have been working from home? Could be poorly?

As mums we are expected to just get on with stuff whether that be right or wrong! It's wrong btw!

My dd threw a fit outside of a craft shop when I was heavily pregnant ( not the first time) she kicked me in the shin and ran across the car park as I hobble/ ran after her. It was so embarrassing and when I got back in the car I cried. She’s now 7 and lovely and a brilliant big sister.

I’ve have been there and it’s awful, really feel for you.
I’d say it gets better but he’s 4 and still does it
I can also empathise with the shut up thing, i said it once in a horrible moment where I was tearing my hair out and you only have to say something once for it to stick with them forever more and they repeat it in the absolute worst places

Oh OP 💐 my brother was like this in supermarkets. He once, when out shopping with my mum knocked over a huge display of products on purpose and another time laid in the middle of the road, forcing all the traffic to come to a halt. My poor mum was mortified.

If I had seen you struggling I would be giving you a look of sympathy because it’s happened to the best of us. x

It happens to us all. I once abandoned a whole trolley of shopping and walked out with my screaming tantrumming toddler. we've all been there

Another one saying we have all been there! My youngest did this 3 times in 3 months (4 years ago but ingrained on my brain) and it was totally out of character. He was utterly incensed and I abandoned shopping all 3 times!!

Whenever I see anyone in a similar situation I just want to give them a hug and tell them it won't last long.

Tomorrow is always another day :)

We've all been there OP, it's awful when you have a day like that, made all the worse from feeling exhausted and pregnant.

I have 3 kids now. My 2 year old DS would act feral in Tesco if I didn't have him restrained in a pram or trolley. Often bribed with snacks and or peppa pig on my phone. I don't think I'd have the physical or mental strength to try and walk him around a supermarket with a basket so well done for even trying.
Hopefully you are having a less stressful evening xx

Tough day, tomorrow’ll be better. My heart goes out to you as I remember feeling very judged when similar stuff happened with my 3 ds’s. Now that mine are older I realise most people are sympathetic. And you’re not doing anything wrong, it was just an off day.

I wouldn't even have contemplated taking dts to Tesco after nursery, you were very brave to even attempt it and, if I had, they would have been firmly strapped in the buggy. In fact I barley take them now and they're ten. Online shopping, Deliveroo, whatever it takes.

Mine got really embarrassed at song time at playgroup and lunged at me, scratched my face. I had to keep a calm smile on my face in front of the other mums with a bleeding cheek when I just wanted to cry. He hated people singing happy birthday to him too. I should have anticipated it. He's lovely now! Best advice I had was 'don't hold a grudge' which I know is obvious but it did help when I felt annoyed/mortified.

OP, it's not you. He's acting out what he's seen and heard at nursery, where he's had to hold himself together. He's safe now, with you, and can let it go.

Don't worry.

Most people would have been have nightmare flashback to their own parenting a toddler years and/or being grateful that it wasn't their child for once

2yo can act so out of character sometimes. Because it's so out of character you don't automatically know how to make it better.

When he's calm have a chat about supermarket expectations.

He will go in trolly. Don't give in on this for a while. If he then has a meltdown he is safe and contained and you can step away.

I'm a huge fan of understanding behaviour maybe because of trueness and hunger etc but also that children need to learn that that isn't a reason to behave that way.

Sending hugs op. I'm 30 weeks pregnant, have a 3 year old who doesn't sleep and has decided in the past couple of weeks to challenge me at every step. At 11pm the other night when he just wouldn't settle I broke down. Then he had the cheek to be all sweet saying aw what's the matter mummy. I swear they know exactly what to do to tip you over. If I'd have seen you in Tesco all you would've had is my sympathy.

The toddlers times are brutal, i really struggled and even worse when everyone is tired. I took it all to heart although my DC was a terror at times but hopefully he's asleep and tomoz is a new day. Don't worry about it.

I've been there when pregnant with my second , next time I put toddler in a trolley and just ignored him when he wa giving it beans , easier said then done I admit but I also was a really grumpy and hating life pregnant woman so anyone said anything got a mouthful and I just cried at home 😂😂

Been there op. Dd once tried to swipe an entire shelf of wine on the floor. I had to fireman carry her out of the shop yanking my hair and screaming LEAVE ME ALOOOOONNNEEEEEE. Was awful.

We've all been there. Just don't take him to the shops, 2 year olds don't like the supermarket. Simple solution. Order online, send husband or go when husband can watch him. Any of those work and safe your sanity