My two year old just made me cry in Tesco

[Yebbie]

I'm pregnant, being sick a lot and feeling generally rubbish. Went into Tesco, he refused to go in a trolley, wanted to walk. Ok fair enough, got in and he just started trying to run off. Picked him up and he screamed at me to put him down, put him down and he ran off again, picked him back up, he weighs a fair amount at this point so I'm struggling trying to carry him and a basket, feeling like shit, he starts screaming SHUT UP MUMMY, PUT ME DOWN MUMMY, SHUT UP MUMMY, YUCKY MUMMY at the top of his voice. I tell him calmly you don't speak to people like that, that isn't nice. He swings his fists at my face "SHUT UP MUMMY SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP" pulling fistfuls of my hair, biting my arm trying to get me to put him down. I abandoned my basket and walked out in tears.

It makes me feel like such a failure the way people were looking at me. He is normally a sweet boy, I don't know where he's learnt shut up as we never say things like that to him, ever. He started crying when we got back in the car saying sorry mummy, mummy go back shop, tried going in a different one on the way out of town as I didn't manage to get anything for dinner in the first shop and he bloody did it again. Had to walk out again of this shop without anything. Strapped in his car seat and the whole way home he screamed at the top of his lungs shut up mummy, yucky mummy, go in the bin mummy

I got home threw up and then went upstairs to cry, left him with dh. I feel really gutted by it, like I've really failed?

If you're not well your husband should be shopping!

If you must-online or alone!

I used to work in a nursery & the amount of parents who collected their kids & then went & did a shop with them-as if it were a treat!

I'm sure sometimes it's the only option, but if not-why do it?

Oh OP, I haven’t read all the replies yet but I hope you are now having a restful evening and feeling a little better. Toddlers can be incredibly hard work and frankly just awful. Sometimes it’s hard not to take it personally, especially if you are tired and pregnant.

My DD was the Queen of tantrums and used to do this sort of thing regularly. I ended up in tears quite a few times over it, and often felt like a failure.

She is now 16 and honestly delightful. We’ve just had an online parents evening in which every single one of her teachers told us what a fantastic human being she is. Your DS is fantastic too, no doubt. This phase is hard but he will come through it and you will be able to look back on it and laugh, I promise.

Another message of solidarity here. My eldest did similar and after a few trips like this (leaving without food, rugby ball carry under the arm, wrestle into car seat and a good cry in the front) she soon got it.

No one will have been judging, they'll all have been remembering when they had it happen to them.

Toddlers are such dickheads sometimes. Lovely, wonderful, glorious dickheads.

Thank you all, feeling a bit better and it definitely helps to know I'm not alone. He went to bed pretty easily after one final drama, he had an absolute screamer that he wanted to wear his paw patrol pyjamas. He doesn't own any paw patrol pyjamas

I am beginning to think I was insane thinking two was a good idea.. bit late now though

Honestly op if your kid looks their age I'd have just been impressed by his ability to speak so well, and I'd have felt massive sympathy for you having a tiny he-devil to put up with. Can you tell mine are two too??

I am beginning to think I was insane thinking two was a good idea.. bit late now though

Oh gosh, I remember thinking that too. But you’ll be grand. Having two is great. Tiring and challenging but great.

I am beginning to think I was insane thinking two was a good idea
I thought that. . Then the second one was twins

@SleepingStandingUp

I am beginning to think I was insane thinking two was a good idea I thought that. . Then the second one was twins

With my first I was genuinely gutted it wasn't twins! They run in my family and I was really really hoping. This time around I cried with relief when I saw it was just the one

I hope you are ok

@Yebbie when asked if she wanted a brother or a sister, my dd said 'both'.

I pray there are not two in there omg

Yeah I mean they don't sleep through and their primary language is a mix of twin talk and shrieking, hence my initial reaction being jealousy of your lads speech 🤣🤣

I remember taking my 2 year old and newborn to the supermarket. 2 YO didn't want to leave the toy section and after trying to persuade her she had a complete meltdown. I remember having to wrestle her out of the shop and carry her fireman's carry style out of the shop her screaming and banging her fists on my back and me pushing a pushchair. I got to the car and cried. She's a lovely 6 year old now.

Sounds rough op, I remember having my eldest in the shop when very pregnant he was 4 though and just lay down and had a wobbler I cried too. I couldn’t bend down to pick him up and I was just so over it. This was after a morning at nursery and he wasn’t allowed something in the shop - probably Coke or similar but we went straight home after that. Hope you’ve relaxed and recovered now ip. Could you take a buggy for him next time? My son was too big at 4 but my youngest 2 are a year apart so were strapped in as they’d run in opposite directions. And yes I was mad enough to do it twice more 😳

Oh OP this brought back so many memories! My 2yr old was a terror in Tesco! The poor staff would bring him all sorts of free fruit to appease him, and he would just lob it across the shop floor, screaming. This was when his dB was a newborn, and I remember thinking I am never going to be able to go to the shop again, I felt so hopeless. 4yrs later, it's (almost) all a distant memory!

If I was looking at you I'd have been thinking thank God mine's not 2 any more, and that lady has the patience of a saint.

I hope your day has got much much better!

I can totally relate to this! had a similar experience in a supermarket when I was pregnant and with my son was a similar age, hitting, bitting and screaming at me and me having to carry him out under one arm hysterical and one man tutted at me, then the battle to get in the car seat! Kicking and pulling hair so awful, 2yr olds are savage and even worse when your pregnant too! But now he is 3 yrs he is so much better these meltdowns have passed. Hope your able to have a relaxing evening and know others have been there and it does get better!

We have all been there love! They are just knackered after nursery and turn into absolute beasts. Switch to online shopping if you can!

Many of the people in the shop will have been sympathising rather than judging x

I remember a week when DD was 2 when I walked out of a different place every day with her under my arm like a furious surfboard.

You haven’t failed, and neither had I. I know “this too shall pass” isn’t always helpful when you’re in the thick of it, but it’s true.

This happened to me in B&Q once when DD was 2/3. It's REALLY echoey, and she screamed and screamed. So many people were looking at us. I burst into tears and had to leave.
I just sat in the car weeping and a lovely B&Q person came out to check I was ok.

She's now 12, utterly lovely, and helpful when shopping!

Mine was generally extremely chilled and well behaved but once in Waitrose when he was about three he grabbed a pot of cream off the shelf and threw it on the floor. I squatted down to him and said “why did you do that?” to which he replied “BECAUSE I IS A BAD MAN” and head butted me.

Its a complete outlier from his childhood. Honestly sometimes you just have to accept they’re nuts. I definitely cried at the time by the way!

Don't worry op, when he's a teen you can get your own back I'd have done your shopping for you and not judged you for a moment. Tomorrow is another day

At least he called you Mummy. My worst moment (years ago now) was in a busy shop when 2yo DC decided to start shrieking "YOU'RE NOT MY MUMMY" at the top of her lungs.

I was terrified everyone thought I had kidnapped her so hurried us both out of the shop. In hindsight that probably looked far more suspicious than staying and styling it out

l work in a supermarket and to be honest most people pay little attention, its quite a common occurance, most of us have been there and have nothing but empathy for the parent.
You are not a bad parent, your child isn' t a bad child.

Poor you, people are probably looking because they feel sorry for you. They all act like that at times , your not doing anything wrong. Try and do click and collect or home delivery whenever you can and avoid the shops. If you really have to go take snacks with you and have them in your hand whilst putting child in trolley, that works for my son might work for you? It must be so tough with being pregnant aswell so don’t feel bad x

Oh you poor thing, you have my sympathy! Reminds me of when I was pregnant and DD was 2, we went shoe shopping and she had the biggest meltdown, had to drag her out, heavily pregnant and almost in tears myself! Honestly think very few people would judge, sounds like you dealt with it really well (my now 4 year old DS can still have big tantrums in public so I am still enjoying them!) Hope you got something nice for your tea and DH took over. Toddlers are utter destruction packed into a small cute person...

Sorry @Fridafever I just nearly spat my tea out at your tale !! Little monkey. 😂