Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

My two year old just made me cry in Tesco

117 replies

Yebbie · 25/01/2022 18:54

I'm pregnant, being sick a lot and feeling generally rubbish. Went into Tesco, he refused to go in a trolley, wanted to walk. Ok fair enough, got in and he just started trying to run off. Picked him up and he screamed at me to put him down, put him down and he ran off again, picked him back up, he weighs a fair amount at this point so I'm struggling trying to carry him and a basket, feeling like shit, he starts screaming SHUT UP MUMMY, PUT ME DOWN MUMMY, SHUT UP MUMMY, YUCKY MUMMY at the top of his voice. I tell him calmly you don't speak to people like that, that isn't nice. He swings his fists at my face "SHUT UP MUMMY SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP" pulling fistfuls of my hair, biting my arm trying to get me to put him down. I abandoned my basket and walked out in tears.

It makes me feel like such a failure the way people were looking at me. He is normally a sweet boy, I don't know where he's learnt shut up as we never say things like that to him, ever. He started crying when we got back in the car saying sorry mummy, mummy go back shop, tried going in a different one on the way out of town as I didn't manage to get anything for dinner in the first shop and he bloody did it again. Had to walk out again of this shop without anything. Strapped in his car seat and the whole way home he screamed at the top of his lungs shut up mummy, yucky mummy, go in the bin mummy

I got home threw up and then went upstairs to cry, left him with dh. I feel really gutted by it, like I've really failed?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

BugPlaster · 25/01/2022 19:16

Agree with PP, I would be feeling for you if I'd seen this in a supermarket, not thinking you were doing anything wrong.
Tiredness is all, and a toddlers ability to pick their moments.

TheAverageUser · 25/01/2022 19:17

My oldest did the same to me when I was pregnant and we did a trip to Lidl. Exactly as you describe but also threw a whole punnet (?) of blueberries across the shop while laughing at me.

His behaviour was normally great and he's a lovely kid now, I think sometimes these things happen and it's not you. Abandoning the shop sounds like the right call. You're doing great, don't think on it x

AgathaAllAlong · 25/01/2022 19:19

This sounds horrible but toddlers can be awful and I promise you that if I saw that happen in a shop I'd just think, poor mum. He's perhaps learned it from nursery?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

2 year olds Behaviour & development Families General parenting

christingle2 · 25/01/2022 19:19

Not to pile on but if your husband is at home, couldn’t he have looked after the child at home whilst you went to the shop alone? Sounds like both you and the child could have done with the break, he sounds over stimulated like you say

godmum56 · 25/01/2022 19:22

believe me I bet they were looking at you with sympathy.....but well.... take the learning and make it easier on both of you in future.

HandWash · 25/01/2022 19:22

I've cried in Tesco too!

A few days before Christmas DH was ill, so I left the 2yo with him and took newborn DS with me.

He cried the.whole.time! I don't think he liked the baby seat thingy on the trolley and just screamed.

A member of staff approached me while I was queuing to pay and in tears. She told me to go and sit down (insisted!) she queued up, packed my shopping and just called me over at the end to pay. I saw her a few years later and nearly cried again at the sight of her

Sorry you've had such a rubbish day OP. You're right and he was just tired. I think sometimes it feels like people are starring/ judging, but really they are just looking to see if things are ok. It's tricky with toddlers having a melt down to do anything to help, but loads of people have been where you are.

Also you've now got a great story to tell, it'll be family legend!

RamblinBoy · 25/01/2022 19:25

DS went in the trolley with bribery of snacks or a screen with headphones. It was the only way I could get round the shops.

These days I have 3 and it's online shopping all the way. I've only ever taken all 3 once and it was a horror show.

In the 90s we used to sit in the car with a packet of quavers and a book while my parents did the shopping. Frowned on nowadays but I fully understand why it was the norm!

Marmelace · 25/01/2022 19:27

Sometimes things can become overwhelming and we need to have a good cry. You have a lot on your plate and most definitely are not a failure. Try not to beat yourself up, but be proud of yourself instead.

cherrytopcake · 25/01/2022 19:28

We've all been there op don't worry. Check out Janet Lansbury online, she has soooo much good advice for parents with toddlers and brilliant solutions on how to reverse situations like the one you just described - lots of podcasts to listen to on her website. The way she speaks can be a bit annoying at first but you get used to it! Completely changed the way I parent and there are way less meltdowns/tantrums since I've been listening to her podcasts.

helpfulperson · 25/01/2022 19:28

I was in a supermarket one day when something similar happened. I was,
standing in a checkout queue and yes it was noticed and discussed. Every single comment was positive about how mum was dealing with it or retelling tales of when it had happened to them. Don't assume because they noticed people are being negative.

myyellowcar · 25/01/2022 19:29

You did so well OP. Might not have felt like it but you did. I have a 2 year old and am not pregnant and still feel stressed out at what you describe.

Solidarity!

Blueysmom · 25/01/2022 19:30

My ds did this the other week. We went for a nice walk at the sea side which ended up with him lying down on the promenade kicking and screaming. A lady with a dog even came over to try and distract him out of it but alas he just screamed at her too. Lasted for about 20 minutes. Not his finest moment. It's totally normal OP and one day it'll be a story to tell him

Tiredmum100 · 25/01/2022 19:32

Ds 2 did this in m&s once. I had to give all my shopping to my mum and as he was refusing to stand drag him out of the shop across the floor back to the car. Everyone starring but do you know what, so what. They're 2 its not the end of the world and I think we've all been there at some point. Honestly OP you are not a failure as a parent.

Garman · 25/01/2022 19:32

Why take him with you if your DH was at home? This is why I do any shopping without dc who over 12-18 months whenever possible, because its setting yourself up for hell. But I would absolutely not tolerate being smacked and shouted at like that, I wouldn't have attempted a second shop at all and wouldn't be bringing him into one again for a very long time.

Smartiepants79 · 25/01/2022 19:33

It sounds very stressful and you handled it all pretty well I think.
The only thing I would say is that next time the 2 year old doesn’t get to decide if he goes in the trolley or not.
Right now you NEED him to be contained in the scenario you describe. So in the trolley he goes. He might not be happy but tough. A bit of bribery might help. But a contained screaming toddler is better than a running, screaming toddler.

Ohpulltheotherone · 25/01/2022 19:37

I guess what you have to think is -

When you see parents struggling with their kids do you believe they have failed?
Do you judge and think “shit useless mum” or do you feel empathy and commiserate with them?

If you don’t go around judging others then why assume people were judging you?
Your toddler had a melt down - it happens to every single child at some point. You haven’t “failed” and neither has any other parent who this has happened to (me included, many times!)

Don’t be so harsh on yourself and in the kindest way, apply some perspective. In the decades you’ll be raising your child, one melt down in a supermarket is small fry.

Hope you feel better soon - toddlers and pregnancy can be a real challenge

Zucchiniinabikini · 25/01/2022 19:39

Definitely picked up from nursery from the other kids or TV not your parenting. People would have been thinking poor you not that you're a bad mum. They'd know you didn't think this was acceptable as you didn't retaliate and left, so it obviously doesn't go on in the house or isn't accepted in the house xx

user1471439310 · 25/01/2022 19:39

When mine was 3 he started screaming and yelling. Picked him under my arm and we went home with old ladies looking like I was killing him. He told me all the car ride home he hated me. Got to love young children.

dementedma · 25/01/2022 19:39

Mine had a massive tantrum in a shop at that age. I tucked her firmly under my arm saying" Right, we'll just go back to the car" and she started screaming" Dont lock me in the car again! Dont hit me!". I was mortified!!! Surprised I wasnt arrested.

TicTac80 · 25/01/2022 19:39

God, I remember the tantrums only too well! DC1 didn’t tantrum and was always chilled. So I foolishly thought it would be the same for DC2. What a FOOL I was!!! She had the temper of the Kraken. So many times, I was reduced to tears about it.

I think you were bloody brilliant. Well done. Seriously, massive well done. Fist bumps and solidarity from one who ran the gauntlet and got through xx

Foxglovers · 25/01/2022 19:39

Anyone who has had a toddler can sympathise and wouldn’t judge!

Suzi888 · 25/01/2022 19:42

We’ve all been there.

pregnantncnc · 25/01/2022 19:51

I have a 2yo and I'm pregnant. I've been there. It is really shit. If I had seen you, I would have been looking at you to try and catch your eye so I could smile sympathetically and offer to grab you what you needed - not because I was judging you unless, of course, my own 2yo was kicking off.

HumbugWhale · 25/01/2022 20:01

Dd1 who is usually the most co-operative of children did this when I was pregnant during the open morning visit to the primary school she would be attending. I ended up carrying her home in tears convinced that all the other parents were thinking they wouldn't want their dcs to be in the same class as such a badly behaved child! As far as I can tell nobody remembers!
You managed it really well, leaving is sonetimes the only option with toddlers when they get themselves in a state.

Houseofvelour · 25/01/2022 20:03

Sending you a massive hug!
Your toddler's tantrum says nothing about you as a mother. You're doing a fantastic job.
Toddlers are just little shits sometimes.

My eldest dd was a complete horror at that age with the behaviour you described but on a daily basis. It got to the point where I didn't want to be around her as she was just horrible to me.
She grew out of it though and your son will do.
As others have said, get a takeaway and be gentle with yourself tonight. Have a cry and start fresh tomorrow.

You're doing great xx

Flip

1 2 3 4 5