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Original poster

The panic is setting in, 22 month age gap!

36 replies

sunsandwaves · 07/01/2022 19:38

So I'm pregnant with my second child. Very happy. Happened a lot sooner than first so although stupid to say this wasn't expecting to fall so quickly. Will only have a 22 month age gap and I am getting beyond nervous as to how hard this will be. My first is an amazing sleeper and rarely wakes up in the night. Really good at nap time too so I know that won't be much of an issue with 2 not sleeping but even still I am bricking it. Any advice

OP posts:

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BearPear · 07/01/2022 19:40

There’s 23 months between mine, the oldest didn’t sleep through until 18 months old and he managed to climb out of the cot a week before his sister was born! He was hard work, she was a dream (thank goodness!). It will be fine, you will cope.

Huntswomanonthemove · 07/01/2022 19:42

21 months between my oldest two, it was easier than I expected.

PinkSyCo · 07/01/2022 19:59

20 months between my youngest two children, and like you I was panicking about how I’d cope and how the toddler would cope with mummy having to divide her attention between him and the newborn but it honestly worked out just fine. There are only 16 months between my two grandsons and again we both panicked and again the newborn slotted in beautifully and the older child not upset in any way. So my advice to you would be to try not to worry and just enjoy your pregnancy as much as you can. Congratulations OP.

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NoWordForFluffy · 07/01/2022 20:02

13 months between ours. Tough going for a bit, but we're all still alive! 🤣

sadpapercourtesan · 07/01/2022 20:04

Mine are 23 months apart. Honestly it was a brilliant age gap in most respects (they're 17 and 19 now), they were proper little buddies for each other, close enough in age to enjoy things together and look out for each other. The only bugger for us was that one is an August and the other a September, so they were one year apart in school despite being 23 months apart in age.

The first few months with any new baby are intense, whatever your age gap. I didn't find a 2yo particularly incompatible with having a newborn - he "helped" a lot, and there was a lot of breastfeeding while reading stories/eating pretend soup/singing etc. It will be fine

Tamtam86 · 07/01/2022 20:06

There's 19 months between mine, it's a lovely age gap. Of course there were tricky moments and it wasn't always easy, but they are 2 &3.5 now and the best of friends and I actually think it would be more difficult in some ways if I were just having a second now. I was definitely bricking it beforehand been though, so totally get how you feel!

SmallElephant · 07/01/2022 20:08

22 months between my DC1 and DC2. I think it's a nice gap! Good luck OP.

OldTinHat · 07/01/2022 20:09

18 months between my two. Was perfect.

Original poster

sunsandwaves · 07/01/2022 20:10

Thanks everyone, comments have really made me feel better. Really appreciate your comments xx

OP posts:

Mummywantsaweewee · 07/01/2022 20:13

24 months between my sons. First son was not great at sleeping but second son is an amazing sleeper.
It will all be fine. It’s an adjustment for sure and be aware you may have mum guilt!! I felt SO guilty about ds1 and cried a lot but quickly you and your firstborn adjust and enjoy the new baby.
Now they’re able to laugh at each other it’s amazing. Like when you manage to get two Furbys to interact as a kid and remember you’re giving them an amazing gift, s sibling!

RockAndRollerskate · 07/01/2022 20:13

21 months gap, littlest born just three weeks ago. So far it’s been better than I thought. DH deals mostly with toddler, I deal mostly with newborn. We’ve separated bedrooms so can each take a child for wake ups / mornings.

I’m worrying how I’ll manage my days on my own with the two of them when DH back at work and eldest not in nursery, but I’ll do a few local and home based days for practice

Georgeskitchen · 07/01/2022 20:20

You will cope!! I had 3 children within 30 months ( not planned) it was hard but I coped!! They are now age 33, 32 and 30 oh and when the youngest was nearly 4 I had another one!!!

Laura2211 · 08/01/2022 10:42

23 months between my 2 & for the first 3 months I was in a state of dispair most days! My oldest was soooooo jealous of the baby. But it does get easier - my youngest is 10 months now & all is good.

Just brace yourself for a tough first few months but just believe it will get easier & it absolutely definitely does :-)

FindingMeno · 08/01/2022 10:47

18 months between mine.
Whatever age gap there's problems involving their stages, and it's just about identifying them and putting strategies in place.
I'd opt for a small age gap again.

TracyMosby · 08/01/2022 10:53

22 month gap in mine and it works really well. They attended the same classes as baby / toddler / preschoolers and both enjoyed them. Gymnastics, music and movement (great teacher for that differentiated from babies to preschoolers!), swimming they were in different classes but right after each other so i or dh could dress one while the other was in their class. Trips out suited them both, cbeebies, eureka in halifax, zoo, farms. They were in the same age bracket so it was easy.

Ive friends with larger age gaps and their interests are so different it is more difficult to suit both at the same time.

Expect the first couple of months to be hard, but they would be anyway.

abra1d1 · 08/01/2022 10:53

20 months between mine and it wasn't 100% more work having the second. Because they were close in age, it meant that we could do things that appealed to them both, which was more time efficient. They did fight as they got older but probably not worse than other siblings with different gaps.

Ihaveaskedyouthrice · 08/01/2022 11:00

19 months between my 2nd and 3rd. They're 6 and almost 5 now and absolutely best buddies. They're into the same toys, tv shows and games and happily play with each other's friends. Absolutely no regrets.

LucyBlackshaw20 · 10/01/2022 11:53

There 14.5 months between my 2, eldest is currently 18 months and youngest is nearly 4 months. There certainly were some tough moments in the early days but you soon adjust to having the 2 so young and just naturally get yourself into a new routine.

SoManyOptions · 10/01/2022 12:00

21 months between mine. Littlest just slotted in. Very straightforward, I was lucky. Biggest was sleeping well when his brother arrived, and both only ever woke to feed unless they were unwell. Anecdotally, my friends with bigger gaps found it more difficult. I think probably just the luck of the draw really. Good luck and congratulations 🎊

Ohisitreally · 10/01/2022 12:09

22months between my two eldest and it was absolutely fine It does also depend on how the older child is.
My daughter basically took charge when her baby brother came home and all was good!
They were one year apart at school because daughter September baby and son July so that was lovely.
They are adults now and great friends even though personally wise they are so different

Good luck and try not too panic

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 10/01/2022 12:15

My are now 10.5 and nearly 9.
I love our gap. DD1 was too young to be jealous of DD2, but old enough to understand. Loved her 'baby' from day 1. (Baby was her first consistent word, referring to DD2).
As they've got older, they've been through everything together. They fight sometimes, but they always make up.
They are in the the same stage of life, making hidays, days out etc easier.

My brother and I have the same gap... and pretty close still.
DH and DB same gap... and haven't really got on since they were teenagers.

angeltattoo · 10/01/2022 12:39

22 month gap here.

My first had tongue tie and reflux and only napped on me for 6 months.

If my second was as hard to feed I had realised I may not be able to BF him due to also having a toddler.

Luckily the 2 baby was a dream to feed and also LAY DOWN IN THE MOSES BASKET FOR NAPS. it was unknown territory to me!

I found that when he was born, my first needed me more so he was in his swing a lot, content but with less attention than my first had had at that age.
As he got older, he needed me more but the oldest had grown and was able to do more things herself.

So what I'm saying is, if one of them needs you more at any point don't feel guilty as that will even out as their needs change.

At first I would feed and change the baby first thing and he would have his first nap while the toddler and I had breakfast and that routine helped.

I loved it. They are great friends and entertainment for each other, my second has always adored his sister.

I had a double buggy and on bad days we loaded up and went out. If I walked far enough they both fell asleep eventually!

I remember thinking the hard work would really start when the second started walking! By which point his sis was 3.5 so it was all ok

Chely · 10/01/2022 12:52

Not that bad, actually pretty common ime.
We had 16.5mth gap between our 2nd & 3rd, was not overly hard but could be exhausting at times. Then we had twins when 3rd was close to 3 years, that is a whole other level of exhausting. Current singleton feels like an absolute breeze, she's no bother at all and a fab sleeper.

jellybe · 10/01/2022 13:01

There is 22 months between my youngest two and honestly it wasn't as scary/ hard as I thought it would be. Youngest spent a lot of time in the sling when we were at home and I had a double pr that 'stacked' the kids on top of each other (oyster max) so getting around with them both was easy.

In terms of naps as soon as you can try and get the youngest into the same nap time as the eldest. If your eldest already sleeps well at night you will be fine returning to the baby sleep pattern of being up feeding in the night as only one of them them will need you. During the early days any time I sat down to feed youngest I would encourage the older one to come and read books with me or we would snuggle and watch tv.

You will totally work out what is best for you and them and as they get older they will have an amazing close friendship - mine do.

Seriouslymole · 10/01/2022 13:08

22 months is honestly, a LOVELY age gap. I have exactly that between DS (now nearly 13) and DD (just 11). They are generally such good friends (with the odd notable "want to kill each other" exceptions). You are still in the baby phase and used to lack of sleep, your 2 year old will still have a nap, you're still up to your ears in nappies. It's perfect. The only thing is that I assumed I'd have 12 months with a stationary baby so I could put her down whilst letting DS wander around and play. Not so, she crawled at 6 months. Devastated! I think it's because they see their older sibling and just want to follow.

The first few months/years are intense and hard work but I would guess that is the case with any age gap. I'm really glad we didn't leave it any longer (I couldn't have as am an aged mother but in either case, it's worked out nicely for us).

Oh and by the way my first was a lovely sleeper, and the second was atrocious, but it passed as everything does.

And get a. a double buggy and b. a buggy board and c. some time in nursery for your oldest. Enjoy :)

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