The panic is setting in, 22 month age gap!

[sunsandwaves]

So I'm pregnant with my second child. Very happy. Happened a lot sooner than first so although stupid to say this wasn't expecting to fall so quickly. Will only have a 22 month age gap and I am getting beyond nervous as to how hard this will be. My first is an amazing sleeper and rarely wakes up in the night. Really good at nap time too so I know that won't be much of an issue with 2 not sleeping but even still I am bricking it. Any advice

We will have 26 months between them. Firstborn has started sleeping terribly when was previously amazing. It'll all be fine, it has to be

21 months between mine. I'm not going to lie, it was bloody hard work when they were little. Big one would climb all over me wailing if I was trying to feed his brother, fun times. Drop your standards re housework and screen time. Always get toddler ready first and clip them in the buggy so they can't escape, then do baby. Get stair gates on room doorways so you can keep them separate if you are busy (baby would sleep in one room and toddler could be playing in other and I could be pottering about doing things etc). Get out the house to groups to see other people (they all love to hold a new baby or help with toddler at snack time and you'll not be stuck at home going mad). Don't do what i did and have a third (bloody hormones).

They are 11 and 9 now and really close, though fight like cat and dog. Most nights i find them asleep together in the bottom bunk. They can really entertain themselves when playing. Good luck, you'll be fine.

22 month gap between my boys and its been lovely. DS1 barely noticed DS2 being born and then I think he was so young that he then didn't remember life before him.
They are so close and it's been really easy to find things they both enjoy doing. DS1 didn't go to preschool until he was 3 so it was like another maternity leave with him and meant I didn't need to rush us all out the door first thing in the morning.
Double buggy will be your friend and just riding the wave!
I also found DS2 was much better at settling himself because I didn't have time to sit with him on my chest for hours. He just got dragged around to whatever DS1 was doing
When I look at DS2 now at 3.5 I can't imagine trying to have a newborn now. It was such a great gap for me.

@AudTheDeepAndCrispAndEven

21 months between mine. I'm not going to lie, it was bloody hard work when they were little. Big one would climb all over me wailing if I was trying to feed his brother, fun times. Drop your standards re housework and screen time. Always get toddler ready first and clip them in the buggy so they can't escape, then do baby. Get stair gates on room doorways so you can keep them separate if you are busy (baby would sleep in one room and toddler could be playing in other and I could be pottering about doing things etc). Get out the house to groups to see other people (they all love to hold a new baby or help with toddler at snack time and you'll not be stuck at home going mad). Don't do what i did and have a third (bloody hormones).

They are 11 and 9 now and really close, though fight like cat and dog. Most nights i find them asleep together in the bottom bunk. They can really entertain themselves when playing. Good luck, you'll be fine.

Agree with everything here!

It will be hard but wonderful

15 months between mine (and under 11 months between me and my sister ouch)
Not exactly planned but really glad they were pretty much at the same stage and that I got it over with quickly
As PPs have said, it can be a bit tough with the lack of sleep but the pay off is kids who play together. Also, you'll have the best arm muscles ever - I constantly had a pudding hanging off me somewhere, and often 2 at the same time.
They're 15 and 16 now and still wrestle with each other like bear cubs. Also bicker loads but now I just leave them to it!
You'll be just fine OP! x

I have 16 months between my first two and it was fine, we coped. I had another a couple of years later so it can't have been too bad! All grown up now and still very close.

22 months between mine - they're 18 and 16 now. I found it much much easier going from 1-2 than from 0-1. With the second one I basically had some idea of what I was doing and so DD just slotted in with what DS was doing.

They've always got on with each other, which is nice :)

27 months gap here. My younger is just over 3 weeks, older is just over 2. Things are really hard some days. I'm already giving up on EBF because I can't cope. House Is a lot of mess. Older one was sleeping through the night now she is not because she's jealous and gets separation anxiety from me.
I am Feeling guilty all the time, whether it's about not wanting to breast feed or dividing attention between the two. Energy is so low I can't take them both for a walk at the same time. I know things will get easier and I'm holding onto that hope.

@firehaven

27 months gap here. My younger is just over 3 weeks, older is just over 2. Things are really hard some days. I'm already giving up on EBF because I can't cope. House Is a lot of mess. Older one was sleeping through the night now she is not because she's jealous and gets separation anxiety from me. I am Feeling guilty all the time, whether it's about not wanting to breast feed or dividing attention between the two. Energy is so low I can't take them both for a walk at the same time. I know things will get easier and I'm holding onto that hope.

Hang in there. It's good to ask for support if you need it. When DS 2 was 6 weeks old I had to get a bit of support from my sister as Dh worked away and I was so exhausted, physically, emotionally, mentally. I was ragged. The first few months really are the hardest. If you need to formula feed it's not a failure by any means. I stopped BF DS2 at 10 weeks - it wasn't going well and there was no other way for me. It got so much better after that and he's a healthy 15 year old now. Be good to yourself and don't feel guilty - you sound like a lovely, caring normal Mum going through the massive adjustment of having another little one! x

@firehaven my toddler still breastfeeds so I either tandem feed or get toddler to snuggle up when I’m feeding the baby and put his favourite tv show on. No judgement at all if you choose to use formula but if you can manage to breastfeed it should be easier than making up formula and sterilising bottles! Less work!
Forget about housework! If you can manage to get a load of laundry on so you have clean clothes you’re doing well. The housework can wait!
It’s hard at first and I was in floods of tears with mum guilt. I gave my eldest plenty of attention and gave newborn to dh whenever I could or my mum, to spend time focused on my eldest. We let our eldest sleep in our bed (on dh side) so he wouldn’t feel left out and he was so happy being snuggled all night. He sleeps in his own bed mostly now but we don’t say no if he wants to come to our bed. Pick your battles is what I say and don’t rush to meet any imaginary standards. One day at a time and take it slow. If you have a sling/carrier, put the eldest in stroller for walk and baby wear and go out for a walk. Good for the kids and does wonders for your sanity.
Humans aren’t designed to raise kids without help “it takes a village”, you’re doing amazingly even if you don’t feel it.

20 months between mine. I was watching old videos today of them playing together aged 2&1/ 3&2, they were very cute together.

(Although possibly slightly less cute now they’re 12&10…. So try and make time to enjoy the early years!)

Advice - sometimes you have to leave baby 2 to cry. The baby will be fine.

Congratulations!