What's it like, formula feeding your newborn?

[stalebananabread]

I'm not here for a breast v bottle debate! I breastfed my first baby for a year, exclusively for the first six months. While it was brilliant in many ways, it was also incredibly hard. She refused a bottle so I had no respite, and the sleep deprivation and pressure of being the only source of food triggered a crushing PND. I always said I wouldn't do it again.

I gave birth to our beautiful second baby four days ago. He latched immediately, so here we are - back at the beginning of our breastfeeding journey. I had forgotten just how hard it is. He has a tongue-tie (hopefully to be snipped) and is a big, hungry baby. He's feeding constantly. I'm shattered. My daughter is struggling and she needs me, but I'm glued to the sofa. I've had about nine hours sleep in total since I went into labour. I honestly don't think I can do this again and it's making me feel very tearful and low. I hated expressing, so that's off the table. I just want to give him formula and start enjoying my beautiful boy.

So please, formula parents, tell me what it's like? What does your day look like with your new baby? What are the challenges? What do you love about it? Did your midwife or HV help you?

I know that, nutritionally, breast milk is better. But nurturing a baby is about more than just food. Any advice or reassurance would be so appreciated.

@stalebananabread

I'm not here for a breast v bottle debate! I breastfed my first baby for a year, exclusively for the first six months. While it was brilliant in many ways, it was also incredibly hard. She refused a bottle so I had no respite, and the sleep deprivation and pressure of being the only source of food triggered a crushing PND. I always said I wouldn't do it again.

I gave birth to our beautiful second baby four days ago. He latched immediately, so here we are - back at the beginning of our breastfeeding journey. I had forgotten just how hard it is. He has a tongue-tie (hopefully to be snipped) and is a big, hungry baby. He's feeding constantly. I'm shattered. My daughter is struggling and she needs me, but I'm glued to the sofa. I've had about nine hours sleep in total since I went into labour. I honestly don't think I can do this again and it's making me feel very tearful and low. I hated expressing, so that's off the table. I just want to give him formula and start enjoying my beautiful boy.

So please, formula parents, tell me what it's like? What does your day look like with your new baby? What are the challenges? What do you love about it? Did your midwife or HV help you?

I know that, nutritionally, breast milk is better. But nurturing a baby is about more than just food. Any advice or reassurance would be so appreciated.

Hi OP,

No judgement from me, I understand how you feel. I struggled to breastfeed and had terrible PND. The sheer pressure of being the sole provider of food is not talked about enough I think, particularly after a long difficult birth and no sleep. It panicked me no end.

In terms of practicalities, once you get going, bottle feeding is fine. The washing/ sterilising cycle was daunting to start with, but we ended up just chucking our bottles in the dishwasher and then just putting them in the microwave steriliser. We also made life easier using a perfect prep machine, and using premade bottles for the night feed so we wouldnt have to get up to do it in the middle of the night. Expensive, but saved my sanity.

Good luck to you - I totally empathise, and PND isn't something I'd wish on my worst enemy. Do whatever you have to to protect your mental health x

[quote Moonbabysmum]@HardbackWriter

Well they were the things I loved most about bottle feeding, so yes, absolutely necessary :-)

I had breast feed for nearly 3 years, and in the early months the desire to be close to me, and for the comfort of milk were indistinguishable.

And what that is in some ways lovely, seeing your child crave closeness to you because they love YOU rather than what you could provide, felt extra special.

That and looking into my eyes are my main happy memories of bottle feeding and it literally makes me feel broody just thinking about it.[/quote]
Presumably you were still providing the milk though, some/most of the time?

Sorry op, I got sidetracked there. Great that you've come to a decision that is clearly right for you. Definitely get that tongue tie seen to though. It will make a world of difference to breastfeeding if you continue to combi feed, and even if you don't, severe tongue ties can affect bottle feeding too.

Congratulations on your baby! And I hope you get some better sleep tonight.

Please be aware that the Prefect Prep machines are NOT recommended by the NHS as there are concerns that they do not make up bottles in a safe manner and could lead to the bottles making babies ill. <a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=www.nnuh.nhs.uk/publication/download/formula-feeding-top-tips-for-parents-v3%23:~:text%3DPerfect%2520Prep%2520machines,the%2520rest%2520of%2520the%2520feed.&ved=2ahUKEwjemoWQ5Oj0AhVMeMAKHZfhABwQFnoECAYQBg&usg=AOvVaw3rOU8MQ0ol89ug1MO7y4Rk" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=www.nnuh.nhs.uk/publication/download/formula-feeding-top-tips-for-parents-v3%23:~:text%3DPerfect%2520Prep%2520machines,the%2520rest%2520of%2520the%2520feed.&ved=2ahUKEwjemoWQ5Oj0AhVMeMAKHZfhABwQFnoECAYQBg&usg=AOvVaw3rOU8MQ0ol89ug1MO7y4Rk

That’s interesting @Bert2e because it contradicts the NHS actual advice.

That website says ‘Some people use ‘Perfect Prep’ machines to make up formula feeds. We strongly advise you against using these machines because they deliver a small volume (‘shot’) of very hot water and then add cool water to make up the rest of the feed. This is not a sufficient temperature to kill the bacteria in formula milk and your baby may become unwell.’

The prep machine makes it at 70 degrees, as per NHS guidelines. Therefore it is in fact hot enough.

FTEngineer the concern is that the hotshot volume isn't big enough to sterilize all the powder in the bottle hence the danger. More details here on pages 37-40 www.firststepsnutrition.org/making-infant-milk-safely

Has anyone attempted any experiments on these methods. Seems pretty important given how widespread perfect prep.

I bought 8 bottles, bottle brush, bottle cleaner, microwave steriliser and a tommee tippee prep machine. The TTPM was the number one purchase we made!
Also got some formula dispenser pots and a thermos flask for when out and about.

@Bert2e but the same formula is sold on the continent with label saying to use 40 degree water.

It’s all so conflicting😩

I’ve fed two babies with the perfect prep machine. They were completely fine! A tip I had was to put the formula scoops into the bottle first & then do the hotshot.. that way the hottest water is hitting all the powder immediately. TT for some reason tell you to add the hot shot & then the powder.. it clogs up the scoop & means the water is cooling down while you add the scoops!

Millions of people use them with no issues. Even my HV mum said they were fine. They’d never had any reports of ill babies from it.

FF was brilliant for us. No stress, easy, happy feeding time. I battled with BF DD1 and it was hideous. I hated feeding. I didn’t even attempt to BF my second (bar the first week, we mixed as planned). Feeding her was the best thing. We cuddled up, fed and snuggled while she snoozed 🥰

It doesn't have to be all or nothing. You could breastfeed a few times a day and do the rest by bottle. Nothing wrong with doing anything that works for you and your baby.

Hugs OP. It sounds like you reached the same thought process- this isn't making me happy. The benefits of breastfeeding are not worth me/ us not enjoying the first few weeks of being a parent to your newborn. The unhappiness will do more harm.

Used a perfect prep machine (could not recommend this enough!!) and had enough bottles to sterilise once a day.
It meant that my OH could do feeds which took the pressure off me recovering from c section.
Really happy with my decision and will be doing the same with a 2nd.

I used the Prep machine to begin with but soon stopped. I found it caused baby to grunt afterwards and was extra gassy. I then switched to the flask method - 1 flask of boiling water and 1 flask of cooled boiled water. He’s on 6oz so I pour 3oz boiling water with the formula and swish it, then add the 3oz cooled water and this is perfect for him. It doesn’t take any longer than the prep machine. I take the flasks out with me and is never a problem making up his bottles. My HV told me not to do the microwave method because 1) hotspots 2) the heat/radiation kills a lot of the nutrition in the milk.

I have 12 bottles in total which means I can go a full 24 hours and sometimes more before having to wash and sterilise.

Formula feeding saved my mental health with my first. Second I bf for 3 days but was scared of my MH declining again so moved to formula. Third was combi fed.
I never found it a faff as others told me it would be- I found it blissfully easy and a massive relief

@TiredEyes1991

I used the Prep machine to begin with but soon stopped. I found it caused baby to grunt afterwards and was extra gassy. I then switched to the flask method - 1 flask of boiling water and 1 flask of cooled boiled water. He’s on 6oz so I pour 3oz boiling water with the formula and swish it, then add the 3oz cooled water and this is perfect for him. It doesn’t take any longer than the prep machine. I take the flasks out with me and is never a problem making up his bottles. My HV told me not to do the microwave method because 1) hotspots 2) the heat/radiation kills a lot of the nutrition in the milk.

I have 12 bottles in total which means I can go a full 24 hours and sometimes more before having to wash and sterilise.

What's the microwave method?

Your HV was an idiot.

1. hotspots shake it, vigorously
2. the heat/radiation kills a lot of the nutrition in the milk not true

www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/ask-the-doctor-microwaves-impact-on-food

[quote Bert2e]FTEngineer the concern is that the hotshot volume isn't big enough to sterilize all the powder in the bottle hence the danger. More details here on pages 37-40 www.firststepsnutrition.org/making-infant-milk-safely[/quote]
The hot shot increases in volume as you increase the feed size. E.g. for a 4oz bottle it's around just under 1oz of hot water to the 4 scoops, for a 7oz bottle it's around d just under 2oz of hot shot.

I've tested the temp of the hot shot several times on my PP and it's consistently been between 70-75 degrees.

Fresh water, make sure you change the filters regularly and run the cleaning cycle weekly (takes 5 minutes and a jug of boiling water, really simple).

We've got the tommee tippee uv steriliser this time round and I highly recommend it. Advantages over the steam one are that it dries the bottles and formula pots as well as sterilising them, they're clean and dry and ready to go, and no descaling required either!

The risk from not sterilising powder is massively overstated anyway. Once DD's dairy allergy was diagnosed she was put onto special prescription formula which you make up with cold water, so no sterilisation. Hundreds of thousands of babies are the same.

Honestly I think it depends on the baby. It will get better though the early days are the worst and with another child to look after. It's so difficult but keep telling yourself it will get better!

Well with my first born I had hoped to do combi feeding. So started off breastfeeding but had to go to formula within a week as no milk came in at all. She was great on the bottle. Would take 3-4oz from just a week or so old. She started sleeping through at 6wks old. And by 7wks old was taking 6-7oz of milk every 3hrs. So her routine would be get up about 9am or I'd have to wake her! 7oz milk at 9am, 12noon, 3pm, 6pm and then after bath another bottle about 8.30-9pm. Turns out she also has a really bad tongue tie that I've only recently noticed and she's 4 now but it didn't seem to effect her.

Second born was awful on both breast and bottle. She had an undiagnosed tongue tie for first few wks. We tried 3 different types of bottles which cost me a fortune. We ended up with mam bottles on a vari flow teat. It cld take an hour just to get her to take an ounce when she was newborn. This went on for weeks. It was really difficult. Felt like I just sat there all day feeding her as by time she had drank an ounce she wld start getting cranky again in another hour or so. Midwives said feed on demand if she wants to feed every 2hrs then do it. I had a 2yr old too at home, I cld not sit there for an hour feeding her then start again within the hour. I obvs had bottles to clean and sterilise constantly too. As well as changing her bum and her clothes, looking after 2yr old and trying to to u know eat and drink 🙈 I stuck with the every 3hrs and it did get better in time.

We eventually got up to 4ounce but even by 6 months old she was still sometimes happy with just 4-5ounce even though I offered 6-7 ounces. She was never a big milk drinker. I was so hopeful she'd take to weaning but she was rubbish at that too, she's 2 now and still sometimes survives on a lick and bite 😂

Oh yeah perfect prep machine is fabulous. The baby starts recognising The noises it makes and gets excited 😆

So that’s a formula without dairy proteins and therefore less likely to harbour bacteria?

With my first, I breast fed and topped up with a bottle for the first month until I just found my baby was just getting annoyed with the breast and wasn't getting enough milk so we then just bottled fed.
Loved it and her dad loved it too as he can be involved.

Lot more prep and remembering things when going out but it was great.

@WouldIBeATwat Not all prescription formulas are free from dairy proteins. DD's wasn't.

@WouldIBeATwat

So that’s a formula without dairy proteins and therefore less likely to harbour bacteria?

Nutrimagen you make cold/room temp and it still contains milk protein albeit hydrolysed

I did both from birth, as my newborn had jaundice and the doc put her on a Formula plan.
I’m really glad I did it.
We were able to seamlessly go between bottle and breast. My husband was always able to do a feed which was my saving grace every day. If I have another baby, I will be introducing a bottle week 1 again.
Get yourself a perfect prep, with the proper TT filters. Don’t feel guilty. Fed is best. Happy mum and happy baby apply.