What's it like, formula feeding your newborn?

[stalebananabread]

I'm not here for a breast v bottle debate! I breastfed my first baby for a year, exclusively for the first six months. While it was brilliant in many ways, it was also incredibly hard. She refused a bottle so I had no respite, and the sleep deprivation and pressure of being the only source of food triggered a crushing PND. I always said I wouldn't do it again.

I gave birth to our beautiful second baby four days ago. He latched immediately, so here we are - back at the beginning of our breastfeeding journey. I had forgotten just how hard it is. He has a tongue-tie (hopefully to be snipped) and is a big, hungry baby. He's feeding constantly. I'm shattered. My daughter is struggling and she needs me, but I'm glued to the sofa. I've had about nine hours sleep in total since I went into labour. I honestly don't think I can do this again and it's making me feel very tearful and low. I hated expressing, so that's off the table. I just want to give him formula and start enjoying my beautiful boy.

So please, formula parents, tell me what it's like? What does your day look like with your new baby? What are the challenges? What do you love about it? Did your midwife or HV help you?

I know that, nutritionally, breast milk is better. But nurturing a baby is about more than just food. Any advice or reassurance would be so appreciated.

Get a perfect prep. I haven't ever bottle-fed a newborn but I stopped BFing before a year both times so had to do formula. I stopped with my second a week ago and got a perfect prep (second-hand off FB; £15 - I checked and cleaned it thoroughly) and I can't believe what IDIOTS we were not to get one the first time and to do the elaborate faff we did instead.

We didn't get one the first time because the midwife in our antenatal class told us not to. She also told us that birth doesn't hurt if you have the right mindset and that transition is often a period of rest and recuperation in the birth process, so god knows why we were still believing what she'd said!

I breastfed my first and formula fed my second after four days. I didn’t get any more sleep than I did with my first but my mental health was better. Breastfeeding sent me loopy. I used to cry with the letdown and for me there was the battle with supply and baby not gaining weight. It was much easier to give a bottle and know baby had had enough. I used a perfect prep and had lots of bottles at the ready. Through the night I used a bottle of ready pour to save getting up and making a bottle.

I had a microwave steriliser that fit 6 bottles in. So I'd wash/sterilse/prepare 6 feeds at a time. Chilled them, then put them in the fridge.

I found my dc both quite regular in terms of feed times - at about 2/2.5 hrs since the last feed I'd get a bottle out of the fridge and just let it come to room temp. Then I'd feed them with it and discard any leftover.

Same with night feeds - and when they finished a night feed I'd grab a new bottle from the fridge and leave it on the bedside table for the next feed.

It was great being able to share the feeds (and cleanups) with dh, though I wont lie, we danced like kids when we made our final ever bottle.

Dh did every Friday night since dc was born, meaning I got a full nights sleep once a week, and when he was on leave, we would alternate nights.

I'd have no hesitation to ff again if more kids came along.

It was brilliant! I hated breastfeeding and I honestly don't think my daughter liked it either because it didn't work and she was always hungry. She took to a bottle immediately. It was fantastic for sharing the workload with my husband and knowing exactly how much my daughter was eating. Perfect prep was a lifesaver. We used doctor browns bottles because she had reflux and was colicky and they did help. We found cold water sterilisation worked for us, so after the bottles came out the dishwasher we'd just chuck them all in the bucket.

It is more expensive because you are buying formula, need a lot of bottles and you will need to buy larger bottles once or twice and also upgrade to higher flow teats and things.

Don't feel bad.

If you can afford it just use the ready made cartons. Life is too short for all that prepping, if you are able to do this.

I formula fed before perfect prep machines, I always made sure the steriliser was full before I went to bed so there were clean bottles for morning. When I got up I made up enough feeds for the day & put them in the fridge & rinsed any bottles we had used in the night & put in the dishwasher before sterilising them ( I had 12 bottles) I warmed feeds in the microwave & gave them a good shake to avoid warm spots. At night we put feeds in a cool bag to take to bed & used a bottle warmer. I used an insulated bottle bag when we went out.

It was glorious.

After an absolute nightmare bfing/pumping with tonguetied DC1 for a year, when the same happened with DC2 (lost 15% bodyweight, failed tt snip, the works) I switched to exclusive ff.

Total breeze. Saved my mental health tbh.
FF is zero stress compared to pumping and all the hassle that comes with that. Though if I were to do it again I'd invest in a perfect prep.

Nights where split 50/50 so I was never totally overwhelmed with lack of sleep. Family helped out plenty too and no worry about them feeding baby. Lots of bottles to wash and sterilise but realistically 5 mins x 3 per day so not a hassle for us. I used premade bottles when out and about but we didn’t go out much so was t a big deal. I premade my own for night feeds too.

I never understand why people make out like it's arduous. It's not, especially not now with all the joys of appliances. We had 6 bottles when I used the 6th one I'd put baby down, wash them up, pop them in the electric steriliser and that was it. Once we got to 6 bottles a day they were done every evening so all ready for the next day. I had a perfectly prep and ready made bottles for taking out.

I BF DC2 for a couple of weeks and a bit extra washing up was significantly easier than having to sit with my boob out constantly, especially when you've got a toddler too. DH has always done the late shift with both of them so I can get a rest. I help care for my DF and was very glad for bottles when I had to dump the baby on my MIL to rush to the hospital earlier this year.

I breastfed my first baby and formula fed my second. In terms of bonding I bonded with both my babies just as well. Breastfeeding was easier - no messing about with making formula, no sterilising or trying to make bottles in the dark. However with my second i got more sleep as DH could take over so that was easier. The day was also more predictable in terms of when to feed but they both initially woke every 2 hours feeds so formula feeding had no effect on that.
Midwife and health visitor said nothing - asked how I was feeding, how it was was going and how often but no judgement

Its wonderful 🥰

My husband would wash the bottles and put them in the steriliser. I would then tske them out and make up 6 bottles at a time, and flash cool them and store in the fridge. That way we had bottles ready to be heated (we used the microwave, just made sure we double tested and swirled really well).

We shared the feeds, shared the nights, and neither of us were exhausted. I loved that my daughter would look into my eyes whilst I fed her, which you don't get with boob. The bottles were amazingly comforting to her (she fell asleep on the bottle for over a year), but I loved that she was to come to me because she loved me, rather than wondering if it was because I was her food source.

I've done both, and whilst there are some assists of breastfeeding I've loved, overall I preferred bottle feeding. I also preferred how much more energy I had to parent when there night wakes weren't all on me.

I loved that my daughter would look into my eyes whilst I fed her, which you don't get with boob. The bottles were amazingly comforting to her (she fell asleep on the bottle for over a year), but I loved that she was to come to me because she loved me, rather than wondering if it was because I was her food source.

Is that really necessary?

I can’t speak for exclusive FF but like you, I exclusively BF DD1 and no one slept for some months. I breastfed her til she was 2 and my milk dried up when I was pregnant with my second, but vowed not to do it like that again!

I introduced formula to DD2 as soon as we got home from hospital. At first just her first and last feeds of the day were formula, everything else was breast, but as she got older (around 3 months) I introduced one around lunchtime and then at 4/5m a couple more. By six months when she started eating she was only on a couple of breastfeeds a day, morning and night. She self-weaned from the breast at 1yr 4m and gave up bottles of her own accord at 2. Always slept better than her sister, which might have been a coincidence.

HV was very insistent this wasn’t the way to combi-feed when I told her what I was doing a few weeks in, and that I was risking mastitis. I just smiled sweetly, said I would take her advice and…. Never did. I probably wouldn’t have had that confidence with DD1
But it was clear DD2 was healthy and happy and she gained weight beautifully so I just got on with it.

Good luck whatever you decide.

@HardbackWriter

Well they were the things I loved most about bottle feeding, so yes, absolutely necessary :-)

I had breast feed for nearly 3 years, and in the early months the desire to be close to me, and for the comfort of milk were indistinguishable.

And what that is in some ways lovely, seeing your child crave closeness to you because they love YOU rather than what you could provide, felt extra special.

That and looking into my eyes are my main happy memories of bottle feeding and it literally makes me feel broody just thinking about it.

I combi fed my second from birth and am now exclusively FF at four months. She wasn't putting on enough weight and with a 18 month old I just didn't have the time to devote to breastfeeding and I don't regret it for a second.

You'll get into your own rhythm/method but for us

-cold water steriliser so just wash bottles and pop them in the steriliser and they are ready to go
-formula kettle which holds the water at 70 degrees and cool them stood in water from the fridge so takes a couple of minutes

• use the little formula travel pots even at home so first job of the day is to get the formula kettle going and measure out the powder for the day so don't have to faff with the scoop again

-ready made for out and about because I can't be bothered with thermos flasks etc -always have some ready made in the house in case of emergency!

We are in a really good feeding routine already so can have bottles ready at the right time without any drama

Like you I bf my first. I wasn’t prepared to need to ff my second as it was the one thing that had gone ‘well’ with my first! But there you have it.

How was it? Lovely, actually. Once I’d got over the guilt it was lovely. I actually like having both hands occupied as it makes me snuggle her more rather than scrolling on my phone. We shared the night feeds without needing to express. And (whisper it) this one sleeps better than my first.

Easy peasy. I had 12 bottles so I had six dirty/in the dishwasher and six in the cold water steriliser at any one time (a day's supply). Perfect Prep machine was a doddle to use. At first I used pre-made formula for going out but once I got more confident, I switched to making one to take out with me.

I bottle fed all 4 of my children. I had 6 bottles each time and found a microwave steriliser the best for me. I only had a perfect prep machine for my youngest but i think they're the best invention ever, it made it so much easier to make the bottles up as and when I needed them. When I was out and about I took an empty sterilised bottle with a carton of formula.

Do look into the safety messages from the NHS around safe preparation and storage etc.

And a really good tip that we used was to get baby used to drinking room temp milk! It meant that when out and about I could just empty a pre made carton into her bottle and she wasn't fussed that I hadn't heated it. Obviously you heat it when making it fresh. But even now when having her milk before her nap at nearly 2 I just pop her cup in the microwave for 30 seconds to take the chill off and we are good to go without worries or burns or hot spots.

I started bf with the intent of mixed feeding, but ended up purely FF after a couple of weeks.

The midwife tried telling me I couldn't mix feed as I'd mess up the supply. There's no such thing as couldn't. As long as you are aware that you could mess up the supply, and end up purely FF (which was fine by me), then why not?

A perfect prep machine is an absolute godsend. I believe there's less cluster feeding with FF, and the time between bottles can be longer than gaps between breast feeding. The downsides are having to make the time to wash bottles and set the steriliser going every day, along with the physical benefits BF gives you and the baby.

I bf but from friends that ff I would say a big advantage is routine / schedule. You don't really get that when bf as it's tends to be "on demand". I think because formula fills them up a bit more it's easier to fall into a routine.

Some do say that babies sleep better on formula, because it's more filling, but others say that's not true. I'm not sure, my kids occasionally had some formula and sometimes I felt they did sleep better but could be just coincidence.

As you say though, a huge advantage is having someone able to share the load, which is huge.

You can combination feed. I know bf councillors often say it can cause "nipple confusion" and cause them to prefer the bottle because it's easier for them (less sucking action preferred) but I found the opposite and my kids preferred the breast so quite quickly started to refuse the bottle.

If combination feeding worked though I guess it would be a good solution for you.

Sorry not to reply more thoroughly but I've read all of these and I can't say how relieved I feel.

I've been feeding baby almost non-stop since 11am. I've managed a seven minute nap today. My poor daughter is trying so hard but she's clearly upset and confused. Makes two of us, I suppose!

Husband came home from the shop earlier with a tin of formula. We're about to give the baby a bottle and, having read these replies, I feel so much more relaxed. Thank you.

@CheesyFootballsAreEvil

Buy loads of bottles you will be cleaning and sterilising a lot

Loads! I think my son was having 10 feeds a day, gradually reduced to 8 before weaning onto solids.

Honestly I absolutely HATED the washing and sterilising of bottles, and I hated having to make one up in the middle of the night.

We made the mistake of not getting a perfect prep machine though, I wouldn't be right next time

@CheesyFootballsAreEvil

I did struggle a bit with eg. MIL being insistent that she should "get a go" feeding as it was a bottle. I was uncomfortable with the idea of anyone other than me and dad doing the bottle feeds for a fair few months. It might have just been my PND but I felt that feeding was our job and not a job for just anyone to do.

Pissed me off too, I was pretty strict until about 6 months old

Lots of sterilising as others have said. The panic of a hungry baby wail combined with discovering all bottles need cleaning is not a happy experience!

I fed expressed milk and found expressing so time consuming. If I had my time again, I would mix feed to get the best of both. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.