What's it like, formula feeding your newborn?

[stalebananabread]

I'm not here for a breast v bottle debate! I breastfed my first baby for a year, exclusively for the first six months. While it was brilliant in many ways, it was also incredibly hard. She refused a bottle so I had no respite, and the sleep deprivation and pressure of being the only source of food triggered a crushing PND. I always said I wouldn't do it again.

I gave birth to our beautiful second baby four days ago. He latched immediately, so here we are - back at the beginning of our breastfeeding journey. I had forgotten just how hard it is. He has a tongue-tie (hopefully to be snipped) and is a big, hungry baby. He's feeding constantly. I'm shattered. My daughter is struggling and she needs me, but I'm glued to the sofa. I've had about nine hours sleep in total since I went into labour. I honestly don't think I can do this again and it's making me feel very tearful and low. I hated expressing, so that's off the table. I just want to give him formula and start enjoying my beautiful boy.

So please, formula parents, tell me what it's like? What does your day look like with your new baby? What are the challenges? What do you love about it? Did your midwife or HV help you?

I know that, nutritionally, breast milk is better. But nurturing a baby is about more than just food. Any advice or reassurance would be so appreciated.

I formula fed my three and my tip is like others have said is plenty of spare bottles. We made up batches of 5 or 6 and kept them in the fridge as needed. Mine were all grazers and basically fed on demand so no strict routine for feeding. I also served at room temp so never heated bottles.

The washing & sterilising bottles takes 10 minutes twice a day, I used to wash all the night bottles first thing, then pop through the dishwasher after breakfast, then put to sterilise when the dishwasher finished. I kept the washing up bowl constantly full with hot soapy water so the milk didn't get chance to dry on the bottles.

I have bottle fed both my babies through choice and don't regret it at all.

We've had a prep machine both times and with my first, we bought ready made cartons of milk that we used when we went out for a day out. I've used a different brand this time round and fill bottles with 5oz of boiling water before I go out and take powder with me. Then I'll just ask for a jug of cold water to bring it to room temperature before I feed her.

At home, the prep machine is so handy, especially through the night. The bottles are ready to go in about a minute which is brilliant and they're the right temperature for baby to drink straight away.
We use the mam bottles and they are easy to sterilise as you can just pop them in the microwave once you've washed them. We have 6 bottles and I make sure I get them washed and sterilised on a night so we have at least 4 the next morning as our baby girl usually only has two feeds through the night.
The only thing I've ever really gotten flustered over by bottle feeding was the teat sizes on the mam bottles when my first was a baby. I'm using a size 0 teat at the minute for my little girl, but my little boy found that size too slow but tended to gulp the milk too fast on the size 1 teats when he was around the same age.
I've found bottle feeding has meant my partner can help out with feeds when he's home too which gives me a bit extra unbroken sleep every other night, as we do one night on and one night off each. It works well for us.
Plus I'm not saying this is true of all babies, but we do manage to be able to plan things quite well around our baby's feeds now she's 2 months old and has more of a pattern.
I'd just say have a look at guidelines on the NHS website around making up bottles and storing them. It really helped me this time round as like I say, I'd used ready made cartons and the prep machine first time. Good luck!

@minniep

I formula fed my three and my tip is like others have said is plenty of spare bottles. We made up batches of 5 or 6 and kept them in the fridge as needed. Mine were all grazers and basically fed on demand so no strict routine for feeding. I also served at room temp so never heated bottles.

You have a heat slightly from the fridge though?

Honestly, the bottles part was easy peasy both times (DD1 was a projectile refluxer though, and DD2 hates milk so there were issues but unrelated to FF).

Tips:

• Buy loads of bottles and just shove them all in the dishwasher on their own once a day
• MAM bottles self sterilise in the microwave and it’s the easiest thing ever
• A prep machine means you can make a bottle basically in your sleep (if you’re using one, pre measure the scoops into formula pots and it’s so easy that even my three year old can do it for me)

Best of luck, whatever you choose. Yes breast is best, but I’m a primary teacher and have never looked at a class and been able to tell how any child was fed as a baby.

Oh and try to use a brand with ready made milk for out and about. We can’t this time as DD2 is on goat milk, so we just take sterile water and powder, but the ready to feed bottles are a marvellous invention.

With dd1 i tried to combo feed from birth, but I hated it. Breastfeeding was painful and I didn't make any milk, it was a constant source of anxiety for me. Went to formula and my girl thrived. My second was formula fed as soon as she was born and loved it. They are beautiful, clever girls.

I'm now pregnant with number 3, and I'll be formula feeding again. I have a job, I have a household to run, other children to support, I don't have time to dedicate to establishing a bf routine, that's if I can do it at all.

Good luck OP, take care of you too xxx

I feel your pain. My DS2 had tongue tie and it was constant feeding, I was initially so happy when he latched on when he was born because my DS1 didn't. It got a bit easier after the tie was snipped, he also was quite refluxy so think that was making him feed more, the gaviscon helped.

Anyway, I now formula feed him due to me being ill and my milk supply stopping. We're both much more content now I can tell you and just say to say tasks and having more time for my other son has made such a difference.

He feeds 4-5 times a day between 7am and 7pm. It was quite hard getting him to take a bottle at first, he liked the booby.

I have 6 bottles and a microwave steriliser. I try and sterilise them in 3s because I hate doing it when it's all piled up. Such an annoying job.

I think I've just had my moment of clarity: I don't want to do this, and I'm going to bottle feed him. I'm sitting on the sofa, cluster feeding again. I've had three hours sleep in the last 24 hours. My mood is plummeting and I'm having upsetting, intrusive thoughts.

This is bloody insane. Why am I doing this to myself? There are bottles and formula literally feet away from me.

I've exclusively breastfed before, I tried to do it again, it isn't the right thing for me. I'm choosing my own mental health and, by extension, the wellbeing of the rest of my family too.

Thank you everyone who has posted on here. I'm so grateful.

Sounds like the right decision, OP. Best of luck.

Lots of practical advice, but don’t make the mistake of thinking a formula fed baby will necessarily slept better.

I did the same OP. Im convinced that if i'd BF I would have ended up in the pits of PND.

Why am I doing this to myself?

I don’t know, some people seem to like giving people a hard time essentially for when they introduce dairy to their child.

It’s a tool, just like any other tool we use as humans in the wester word. If you feel like that about breastfeeding, do not give it another thought. I know I could get my calcium from kale but muahahahah cheese. Enough said.

It's a completely personal choice. I had PND and really struggled with BF but the same PND reduced me to tears when I caught sight of the label on the box about how BF was best etc. All I can say is looking back now I can see it really really didn't matter either way.

OP, how would combination feeding work?

@IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads

Lots of practical advice, but don’t make the mistake of thinking a formula fed baby will necessarily slept better.

Ah no, I know there are no guarantees on that front. The difference is that when my breastfed daughter woke every 90 minutes for weeks on end, I was the only person in the world who could feed her. And when I was sobbing to my husband and mum about how desperately I needed to sleep, they couldn't give me what I needed.

I'm not expecting him to sleep better with bottles, but I'm expecting that I will sleep better with him on bottles!

I bottle fed my first as struggled with breastfeeding we moved onto bottles within the first day! Everyone happy! It was a faff especially as she was a sickly baby - manically making a bottle up for a child who half hour later throw it back up was hard!! Going on holiday was a bit awkward or to people houses. The biggest issue was she wouldn’t take a cool bottle had to be warm & when she wanted it! Trying to get back from a shopping trip with a screaming baby was hard!! But it was shared, we never had a sleeping baby so the whole they sleep better my daughter missed that memo!!
Second time around I breastfeed- it just clicked!! Like yours wouldn’t take a bottle. But after the hard first 4 weeks breastfeeding felt easier and we could just get on with things. I wanted to feed her till she was around 1 but at 10 months I began to feel a bit like a walking dummy, so we cold turkey to bottle feeding. Though a breastfeed baby was a good sleeper! I think I deserved it after my first who never slept!!

If I was to do it again I would definitely go with breast IF it all clicked. But would try to introduce at least one bottle a day as it was hard never getting a break!! Do what works best for you!!

@succession

OP, how would combination feeding work?

It seems that that's what we're doing today! My husband has gone out with our daughter for a few hours and I've breastfed the baby while they've been out. I'm speaking to our local feeding team tomorrow about the tongue tie, so I'll get their advice on how to make combi feeding work, even if only for another few weeks, and then make a decision on how to go ahead.

In the meantime, we're going out today to stock up on more bottles and some ready-made formula to make things a bit easier while we get our bearings. If/when we commit to this, we'll be investing in a Perfect Prep machine!

Thank you for all the advice everyone.

@succession I just took them out to get to room temp for a bit. Or if I'm out and about then they are naturally at room temp. I've never ever heated a bottle. Mine all still love milk and the two year old is a milk addict so obviously I haven't put them off milk for life 🤣🤣🤣
OP best of luck whatever you decide.

I only FF my lo, the perfect prep machine was recommended to me by a couple of people before I gave birth so we brought that and what a great machine that is!
Especially middle of night feeds when your tired so quick to make and made to the right temperature (although I always still checked the temp before giving it to my lo)
When we'd go on days out I brought the pre made milk cartons so I didn't have to bring hot water etc just made it easier.
Once my lo dropped her night feeds we just then made bottles from the kettle and still used pre made milk when on days out x

I formula fed all four of mine after breastfeeding my first failed. I could have stuck at it longer but decided not to. My fourth baby had horrendous reflux and I really struggled to get him to feed and gain weight. I can't even begin to imagine how much harder breastfeeding would have been in that situation.

Get a Prep machine and MAM bottles.

Have more bottles than you'll need. I remember dropping the last clean bottle and sobbing, because I had to wash and sterilise it while holding a screaming hungry baby.

Sterilise all bottles every night before bed (or get your partner to do it).

Once you're ready to leave the house for longer periods, have a flask so you can take boiled water out with you to recreate the prep machine - mine lasted hot enough for about six hours. Cold water in a spare bottle in the bag, plus as many bottles as you'll need for feeds.

I know bottle feeding is meant to be a huge hassle, but I found it fine. We switched at three weeks because of failure to thrive, although I carried on doing morning and evening comfort feeds until around three months as I wanted him to have my antibodies.

@stalebananabread

I think I've just had my moment of clarity: I don't want to do this, and I'm going to bottle feed him. I'm sitting on the sofa, cluster feeding again. I've had three hours sleep in the last 24 hours. My mood is plummeting and I'm having upsetting, intrusive thoughts.

This is bloody insane. Why am I doing this to myself? There are bottles and formula literally feet away from me.

I've exclusively breastfed before, I tried to do it again, it isn't the right thing for me. I'm choosing my own mental health and, by extension, the wellbeing of the rest of my family too.

Thank you everyone who has posted on here. I'm so grateful.

Really happy for you that you've had your moment of clarity. My DS couldn't breastfeed due to a congenital issue, I remember being determined to exclusively express, broke down after trying the (what I felt at the time) horrendous electrical machine, crying for 24 hours that I wouldn't be breastfeeding, then quickly turning my thoughts around and moving on after support from partner, friends and midwives. I have never looked back!

Have more bottles than you'll need. I remember dropping the last clean bottle and sobbing, because I had to wash and sterilise it while holding a screaming hungry baby

Ouch. You're giving me flashbacks

I didn’t get milk so had no choice. But actually it was great. It meant that DH could do some of the night feeds, and I got some sleep. DD now a healthy 15 year old. No one looks at her and says, “OMG - it’s clear you weren’t breast fed!” Do what works for you.

Two pieces of advice I was given, both of which were invaluable - get Dad to bath baby. That’s something they can easily do, great bonding time, and it gives you a break. Other one was don’t start heating the formula. If babies have it cold from the get go they don’t know any different, and it saves you a huge amount of hassle. Good luck