What it like having teenage sons/adult sons?

[Blueskies3]

I have two boys, 6 and 4.
I am worried that when they are teenagers they won't want anything to do with me,, won't talk/communicate and will be sex crazy....won't be able to enter their rooms etc.
What is it like?
How do you have a good relationship with your teenage/adult son? What tips can you give me?
Please feel free to reply if you have daughters too.

Son is only 10. Have a 15 year old daughter, she can be an arse and always has a mucky look for me and a shark tongue. If you don't take offence you'll get by fine. Teens like to do their own thing but will still spend time with you. You need a happy balance between being enough of a friend so they come to you with problems but strict enough so they know not to take the piss. I'm pretty relaxed with the eldest but rain down on her when needed to keep her grounded. We have 4 more girls to go through the teens yet, urgh lol.

Sharp not shark, fat finger syndrome

@Chelyanne

Sharp not shark, fat finger syndrome

I thought "shark tongue" conveyed very well how a teen DD can sometimes speak!

Grown boys here. They are great, very decent and caring boys. Both different in lots of ways too. Will both make great husbands.

My advice is simple, talk to them and spend time together...when they let you

I have an 18yo and a 16yo. Neither remotely interested in girls/other boys or sex..yet! They can be uncommunicative but also very funny and fairly laid back. Their rooms are absolute tips and I do shout every so often when I see loads of crockery in there but I let them get on with the mess, it's their space. They are both quite sporty so get out the house and socialise but can go hours not speaking to me if they're on their playstations! Boys are great though, less drama than their sister!

Mine can be lazy, selfish, know-all, entitled pains in the arse sometimes that's for sure.

But they're not how you described. They're very gregarious and chatty, and are far more interested in their mates than the opposite sex. They'd never admit to it but they do definitely still need their mum.

16 and 17yo.

Sorry, but what a weird prejudice OP

Did you not grow up with brothers, cousins, friends who were boys, boys at school? (I guess it is possible you don’t have male family members, or only weird sex-mad ones! )

My boys are 19 and 16 and the teenage years have been good fun, lots of laughs and silliness and also annoying stuff but nothing alarming or unpleasant (🤞🤞)

So lovely to have 2 boys, slightly jealous of you having all that fun ahead, I especially loved late primary age but mid-late- teens also fun.

Teen boys are often good company imo, if you can get them into conversation about stuff that matters to them

DS just about to turn 18, he is polite, affectionate, chatty. We do have to try and understand things he is interested in sometimes such as Anime (spelling?), obscure tech. But he also still loves a big lego kit and cooks for us one night a week, usually Asian food or steak. He still hugs us in public and says love you as he walks off, lots of his friends just the same with their parents. He isn’t perfect of course, he is disorganised and only just starting to work properly towards A levels now.

Don’t worry just keep talking to them and let them follow their interests. You have to let them be themselves and not mind if they don’t enjoy a sport or subject you love or whatever it is.

I have a teenage boy. He is wonderful, kind, funny, affectionate, why on earth would you think that of boys? they are just normal people you know?

I have an adult son. He was so much fun growing up and still is. He was a grumpy teenager, but so was his sister. I adore both my children and they are brilliant friends now

Ha also the mum of 2 little boys (4 and 2) and had a similar preconception as OP. I went to all girls school though so I was probably spoon fed the Narrative that boys were gross and sex mad.
I love being a boy mum though!

Mine is 15- messy, lovely nature but a bit too nice sometimes, likes a chat and a hug still, his room is very much a private space but I think that’s more because he doesn’t want us to see what a shit pit it is

As children grow up they do want to do less with their parents (didn't you?) Doesn't matter if they're sons or daughters. And you need to give them space and privacy.

My son is 31, and a dad himself now. He was a delight growing up, I never had a bad day with him. As a teen he had no interest in sex , just liked sport and hanging out with his pals. He'd come home from school and lie down on the bed next to me ( I was on night shift for all those years so that was my "morning "). We'd chat and he'd tell me all about school etc. It was lovely.

I got divorce when he was 18, and he was entirely supportive and always up for a chat about what was happening. He got his first girlfriend at 23 and by 24 he was a father, much to everyone's surprise !

I still see him all the time and help with the kids. I am eternally happy to be the mum of a boy !

My sister has 5 boys.
23×2, 25, 27, 30
Growing up they were bloody wild. If I saw her in the supermarket I would hide from her because they were all running about mad and she would be ignoring them 😂😂
Now they are adults with children of their own ALL 5 of them are very close to their mum.
They are good company and never out of my sister's house. She also has a good relationship with their partners.

Mine are adults now, early to mid 20's. They are still at home and saving for deposits. I give them privacy and treat them like adults. I will miss them terribly when they do move out. I think the teenage years are far, far worse, and you describe it quite well in your op. That would apply to both sexes though, not just boys .

It's lovely. My DS is 16 and we cook together, chat a lot and I still get hugs and kisses. He's the funniest person I know. Does drive me mad with his 'uselessness' in the domestic capacity but I wouldn't change him for the world.

I've got two. Its wonderful having boys. Always got a house full of their mates who come round to watch the football, or just pop in for a little natter and there's always some skirmish happening. They're very funny and fun to be around. The like to go shopping with me (if I'm paying), maybe a run/walk the dog, and out for breakfast but otherwise they want to do their own thing.
Yes their rooms are a constant pit (but tidy compared with their girlfriend's rooms I'm told), one's a closed book the other the total opposite and tells me everything, they both work hard and neither are sex crazy! One has a very stable girlfriend who everyone says is like me in looks and personality (poor boy, I daren't tell him :-D). I desperately wanted boys and am so so glad I got them.

It's wonderful! My two are 19 and 17 and they're funny and silly and chatty at tea times. Sometimes grumpy and stroppy - but what's new..?!

They were at their worst at around 13 - 14. More silent and miserable - but thankfully they've both come through this and are just lovely.

...ooh yeah, mine are good for cooking (and fixing their mother a gin).

Think it is a bit of an emotional roller coaster with teens whether you have girls or boys.

@ParkheadParadise respect to your sister! My DSs are 29, 28, 26 & 23. If DS4 had been twins I don't know what I'd have done! OP should be ok with just the 2 boys though. Mine were lively and hard work through the teenage years. It was difficult keeping the fridge stocked as they'd munch their way through whatever food I bought. They also go through a phase of not liking to wash much. They're content, active, hardworking & humorous adults and very protective of "Mumsie".

Depends on so many factors. Y two really are lovely adults and fine as teenagers. Give them space and privacy, pick your battles and don't make any controversial comments when watching rugby/football !!My boys had really lovely friends who were all decent and hardworking with school work. So I really cannot complain.

I have a huge adult sized 12 year old who looks like he’s halfway to being a man
He’s grumpy and funny and sometimes a bit smelly and very very noisy (his sister says it’s like living with a SWAT team). I have no idea what he’s talking about a lot of the time either
He gives the best hugs, tells me he loves me daily and comes for a back scratch most evenings before bed. I absolutely adore him and I’m so excited to see the man he becomes

@Blueskies3 what a great post, I sometimes wonder this too.

My brother was away at boarding school, and I went to an all girls private school, boys for a very long time were a terrible enigma that I’ve spent my adult life unpicking! I didn’t have friends that were boys until I was an adult!

My son is 6 and incredibly cuddly, lovely little boy and full of energy and sports mad. If I watch too many tv shows, then I also start to think the bedroom becomes a 50/50 chance of walking in on something once the teenage years hit…

Sweet to read all the replies here.