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Original poster

Child Protection Planning what to expect

110 replies

sadx · 06/11/2021 11:55

My partner was removed from the home for assaulting me and now we have to go to a meeting about child protection on Monday.

Can someone help me prepare and know what to expect.

OP posts:
Original poster
sadx · 07/11/2021 12:58

Turnip. This is a very recent turn of events and obviously I can't and do not have contact in so far as we can't even be at the conference together. It is an initial conference. Seeing how we can go forward

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Original poster
sadx · 07/11/2021 12:59

Thank you Middle Aged

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twilightermummy · 07/11/2021 13:06

Rogue1001
I went for a non-mol order in court with a solicitor provided through legal aid to facilitate this. When we got to court the judge triggered a section 47 as I outlined the abuse I had been through. I didn’t understand the system and by explaining my personal abuse to get the order granted they then requested social services step in. So maybe my experience was a bit upside down with the solicitor first. I don’t want to confuse op but I do stand by my initial statement to be cautious of which solicitor you use. I ended up with a barrister because the solicitor messed up so badly. I was passed from pillar to post within their offices because two went on sick leave. At one court hearing the solicitor was even referring to my ex as Mr First name because she hardly knew my case and had spoken to me ten minutes before the hearing. It was really frustrating to feel so alone in the system.

Imfindingithard0 · 07/11/2021 13:18

I'm about to change my legally aided solicitor next week, she's utterly useless.

RestingStitchFace · 07/11/2021 13:23

Op, do you have a relative or friend you could bring along with you for moral support? Just so you have someone by your side and to help give you courage?

Original poster
sadx · 07/11/2021 13:31

Yes I do have someone.

If he has to get a court order how long would it take?

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Imfindingithard0 · 07/11/2021 13:34

It could take anywhere up to two years, depends on your area. Courts are very backlogged at present.

Original poster
sadx · 07/11/2021 13:40

By which time he may lose interest anyway I suppose

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coodawoodashooda · 07/11/2021 13:52

@Ilovepoppets

You can cut all ties. He can see the child through children's services instructions or court order.
This. I wish i had done this.
Original poster
sadx · 07/11/2021 14:06

Why ?

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Original poster
sadx · 07/11/2021 17:44

I meant why do you wish you had done this

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Original poster
sadx · 07/11/2021 19:55

I just need to go in and accept their help

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Rangerhamida · 07/11/2021 21:15

You need to go in with the expectation that you will safeguard your child.. Accepting the help of the authorities comes after. You need to prove you will do everything in your power to put your child first, it isn't down to you to think about his contact arrangements and facilitate them if he's broken your ribs. Don't set a precedence, if you do and the matter goes to court, you will have set the status quo..

Peppaismyrolemodel · 07/11/2021 21:35

@sadx

No it's not why ss are involved. They are involved as he assaulted me and was arrested.
No. A children’s social worker is not there for you- you are only on their priority list as a means of protecting the children. Their job will continue if the children are taken into care, and at this point they won’t hesitate- but you probably wouldn’t have reason to hear from them again in this eventuality. If you are unsure, then asked them- “Do you think he should have contact?” And then agree, or ask them to help you get over practical issues stopping you de agreeing.

Cannot impress upon you how serious this is.

Rangerhamida · 07/11/2021 21:46

The child protection conference is also about making sure you're not a risk to your child by allowing him near her. You're both going to be viewed as a risk at this stage.

Original poster
sadx · 08/11/2021 07:33

Than you

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Original poster
sadx · 08/11/2021 15:31

Just out and feeling more battered. Everyone was pretty supportive but there will be a plan. I didn't have to face him either.

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nomorefrogs · 08/11/2021 15:33

Okay well you have got through the meeting. Are you clear what the concerns are and what you will need to do going forwards?

Original poster
sadx · 08/11/2021 19:43

Yes it's just an outline but basically keeping him away from us and he will have to arrange his own contact. More meetings. Pretty gruelling day but actually lots of support which I need. My baby is very tiny and I was terrified they'd either threaten to take her away or make me send her to him. For all I care he can drop off the face of the earth.I've already got a safety plan and secured the house/changed locks etc.

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Readthestandingorder · 08/11/2021 19:56

I disagree with previous poster that comments that SWs are not there for you, just to protect the children. The clue is in the title 'child and family social worker' - and we need to build trusting relationships with both parents and children. (Social work academic here)

Original poster
sadx · 08/11/2021 20:10

My social worker has been amazing and there for me. Gosh, if I'm not ok then the baby isn't ok. She supports me by wanting what's best for my child as I do. She helped me by reflecting the abuse he was committing. By being there subtly but also asking direct questions bravely. She's been a good social worker.

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Readthestandingorder · 08/11/2021 20:25

That's great to hear Sad. I hope you and her can continue to work in partnership. Wishing you all the best x

Pebbledashery · 08/11/2021 20:26

Our child protection social worker saved our lives.

Original poster
sadx · 08/11/2021 20:29

I think she saved my life too. Seriously.

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HunkyPunk · 08/11/2021 20:37

At the conference, everyone will be looking to see whether you're putting your child first or not.
The more you put your child first, the more they'll relax around you.

Take it very seriously. It is VERY serious. If it does go to CP, if they're not happy with you (i.e If they feel the need to escalate), the next step is taking your child away.

What I don’t understand is, if proceedings can be escalated so swiftly just for saying the wrong thing at a conference, how is it that time and again children are left with abusive parents until they’re murdered?