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Original poster

Child Protection Planning what to expect

110 replies

sadx · 06/11/2021 11:55

My partner was removed from the home for assaulting me and now we have to go to a meeting about child protection on Monday.

Can someone help me prepare and know what to expect.

OP posts:
felulageller · 06/11/2021 22:25

Get a solicitor.

Don't allow any contact unless it's court ordered and supervised.

He has abused your child by abusing you.

Contact women's aid for advice. Take their advice. Tell them this at the CPIC.

Read the report. If there's anything you don't understand, ask.

twilightermummy · 06/11/2021 22:39

Whatever you do, do not minimise the abuse. Don’t repeat that you think he won’t harm your child. They’re judging you at this point as much as him and any indication in the slightest that you’re not detached from him will cause you a heap of problems. Best of luck managing this minefield x

twilightermummy · 06/11/2021 22:43

I’ll also add that you need to choose a solicitor carefully not just the first that throw themselves at you because a lot of them work like a factory.
Women’s Aid is your best hope of support. Please contact them.

Kuachui · 06/11/2021 22:45

if they push for no contact and you push for contact you will lose your child.

They dont mess around. A section 47 means they want to protect your child from him and from you if you put your child in danger so if they decide he is too dangerous or can only have supervised contact then i would accept that if i was you.

He broke your ribs, thats one aggressive act, i wouldnt be sure he wouldnt hurt a baby and thats what the SS will most likely be thinking.

Garriet · 06/11/2021 22:48

@twilightermummy

I’ll also add that you need to choose a solicitor carefully not just the first that throw themselves at you because a lot of them work like a factory. Women’s Aid is your best hope of support. Please contact them.
At this point, a solicitor will be very pricey and I’m not sure what you’re wanting them to do as there are no legal proceedings.
twilightermummy · 06/11/2021 23:24

I may be wrong but I thought a solicitor would be needed when a section 47 is triggered. Different experiences for different people I guess. Op will know more on Monday.

Garriet · 06/11/2021 23:40

@twilightermummy

I may be wrong but I thought a solicitor would be needed when a section 47 is triggered. Different experiences for different people I guess. Op will know more on Monday.
No, only usually if the concerns are escalated to pre-court (Public Law Outline) which is the point at which parents can access legal aid. Not during S47 enquiries or Child Protection planning.
Garriet · 06/11/2021 23:41

Or, of course, if OP’s ex makes an application to court at which point OP could apply for legal aid on account of the domestic abuse.

invisiblecats · 06/11/2021 23:49

if they push for no contact and you push for contact you will lose your child.

This. If they think he is a risk to your child but you indicate you may allow contact, they will see you as a risk too and you may lose your baby.

You need to be prepared that it may come to you having to move and cut all contact with him. Like others have said, if he wants contact he can go through the courts. You need to completely stop worrying about his needs and focus only on you and your baby.

Original poster
sadx · 07/11/2021 07:13

Thank you all so much. He is a low life for what he did to me. I have absolutely no doubts I don't want to get back with him, it is just access.

I will know more tomorrow, I have the social worker report and I'm sure it will go to CP

OP posts:
Original poster
sadx · 07/11/2021 07:19

If I need to move might they help me?

OP posts:
invisiblecats · 07/11/2021 07:30

I don't want to get back with him, it is just access.

Yes, and that's exactly what they have a problem with, you allowing him access. This is really serious. If you go in there with the attitude that he's their dad, you need to allow him to see them, he wouldn't hurt the kids etc etc, you are at a very real risk of losing your children.

They see him as a risk to the children and if you allow him access, they will see you as a risk too. He needs to go through the courts for access and they may say he can have access in a contact centre. Or they may even say they think he's too much of a risk and can only send letters for now.

But if you go in to the meeting talking about his rights or how the kids need him or how you know he wouldn't hurt them any of that kind of stuff, you will be demonstrating that you are not able to protect your children from this violent man.

If you need to move, they may help you, and it's worth asking. My friend who was in this position found the system was very slow and she found a place to move to herself. I don't know if this was just her experience though.

Gruffalochildren · 07/11/2021 08:01

You should ask one of the authorities to refer you to MARAC, when we were referred, I received a housing support letter as a result and it asked for my daughter and I to be prioritised at the top of the council banding lists.. You can present it to the council. Fortunately, I found a property because I worked and saved up, but that's an option too xx

October2020 · 07/11/2021 08:15

You need to change your language about access and show that you are 100% committed to protecting your child or they will remove them from your care.

He is abusive. He has been abusive to you AND to your child already because of what they have witnessed. You must be absolutely clear that you will have no contact and will not consider access at this point.

If SS deem access to be safe enough for your child then they can put things in place in the future. Right now they want to know if you're able to keep your child safe or if your child needs to be placed into care - you absolutely cannot say things like 'but maybe it's good for her to see her dad' etc (I'm paraphrasing).

Best wishes, OP.

Rogue1001 · 07/11/2021 08:40

@twilightermummy

I may be wrong but I thought a solicitor would be needed when a section 47 is triggered. Different experiences for different people I guess. Op will know more on Monday.
I don't know where you've got this from.

I have NEVER seen a solicitor at a cp conference.

If they go to pre-preceedings then there's solicitors, but never a S47. Not once

Gruffalochildren · 07/11/2021 08:43

She will only need a solicitor if and when there are children's proceedings.

notacooldad · 07/11/2021 08:44

Any bloke who is violent to the mother of his child can absolutely be violent to their child
I really agree with this sentence. However on a course with work we questioned why children should maintain contact with their fathers if the father as done horrific things to the mother . We were told the criteria that's used was 'is he a good enough father'. If so the child should be given the opportunity of a relationship with him. The bar of 'good enough' was very low.

Things might have changed. This course was 3 years go.

Original poster
sadx · 07/11/2021 10:19

What does good enough father mean though? He beat me when I was pregnant. Who decides?

OP posts:
notacooldad · 07/11/2021 11:20

What does good enough father mean though?
That is exactly a point I tried to discuss in the course. I said if a bloke beats the mother of his child senseless why is he considered a good father. Apparently how a father behaves to the mother doesn't necessarily mean he will treat the child the same. I tried to argue about the long term damage but no, it was about maintaining relationships for the sake of the child.
I'm not usually vocal on courses but I kept coming back to it.
It wouldn't have any impact as the instructors were only course facilitators delivering our training.

TurnUpTurnip · 07/11/2021 11:34

Yes he will still probably have access to the child but what you are not understanding is that it should be you facilitating it and that’s why ss are involved.

Original poster
sadx · 07/11/2021 11:48

No it's not why ss are involved. They are involved as he assaulted me and was arrested.

OP posts:
TurnUpTurnip · 07/11/2021 11:51

But I’ve previously said the same happened to me yet ss never even opened a case because I had cut all contact 🤦🏻🤦🏻🤦🏻

TurnUpTurnip · 07/11/2021 11:54

Wake up, ss are involved because you are still in contact with him and they don’t think you are safe guarding your child, they are doing a child protection conference because of this because again they don’t think you are safe guarding your child, if you stopped all contact with him they would have backed off, I’ve been there! People are telling you the same thing, but you won’t listen and obviously insist on staying in contact hence why you are having a child protection conference, you don’t seem to be listening to anyone though so I won’t say anymore except good luck.

Original poster
sadx · 07/11/2021 11:57

How can I have bloody contact when he is on police bail ffs

OP posts:
verymiddleaged · 07/11/2021 12:20

There is a disconnect between social services and the court system.
Social services are much more reluctant to think that contact with an abusive parent is a good thing.
The court system works on the basis that contact with both parents should be maintained if at all possible.

Therefore the best way through as a non abusive parent is to stop all contact until a court mandates it.
Showing social services you are protecting your child and then doing whatever the court mandates.
Many abusive men simply don't bother perusing contact and move onto their next victim. Although obviously some do.

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