Embarrassing toddler mispronunciations

[Mudday]

My 3.5 year old DS loves playing with fake gold coins as part of some fun pirate treasure island games. The problem is that he inexplicably pronounces 'coins' as 'C U Next TuesdayS'! Aargh! Our horror was duly noted and he now finds it hilarious to yell his version of the word despite constant corrections. Does anyone else have this kind of problem or are we alone on this frustrating road of judgment and social ruin?

My son, now aged 7, used to pronounce clock as COCK! He would always get so excited pointing at the clock on the wall.

'Mummy, look at the cock!'

Nanas stick = Nanas dck
Look! A Clock = Look a cck

My DD was very proud of her 'flashy willies'.

Fork ‘n’ knife is one in our house at the moment. We’ve realised we why were taught to say knife and fork

DD1 went through a phase where EVERYTHING sounded like "fuck".

What do the ducks say? Fuck fuck fuck!

What's daddy making for lunch? (The anwer was pork sausages as opposed to chicken sausages.)
Fucken sausages!
Yes dear, that's right. Puh-puh-puh-puh pork sausages.
Puh-puh-puh-puh fucken sausages!!!!

Say thank you!
FUCK YOU MUMMY!! Bellowed across the playground.

There was one time she put her fox socks in her fox pocket...

My DS used to pronounce "fox" as "fucks". He wasn't a very clear speaker, but somehow that word always came out crystal clear and twice the volume of the rest of the sentence.

Also he pronounced "crack" as "cack", and kept me fully informed of every big cack on the pavement.

Buggy is bugger

Raspberry ripple ice cream pronounced as raspberry nipple 🤣

DD used to say fuck instead of quack.

We had a book that said something like “the ducks in the pond are quack quack quacking” and I’d read it to DD and she’d cut in and finish off the sentence with “fuck fuck fucking”

Yes St= D. DS loves sticks ‘MUMMY LOOK AT THIS BIG DICK’ is quite regularly shouted in the park

My DS asks for a big c*nt (of cucumber) instead of chunk 😂 x

Mine is alarmingly precise and sounds like a tiny Irish Julian Clary, so he tends not to mispronounce so much as clearly and loudly pronounce all the things he's not supposed to even know.

Winner being the day after his father and godfather half killed themselves moving the piano, wandering round his granny's house announcing 'kin hell!'

Blueberries are Boobies here.

DD tells people to shit (sit) down. Points out red cars to me but in her excitement sounds like shes calling someone a Wanker

My toddler has just learned to say “sit” in a very determined voice whilst pointing where she wants the person to sit. Except she actually says “tit”.

My two year old also says Cock instead of Clock. And now because I’ve laughed a few times she thinks it’s a game and excitedly (and loudly) points out any “cock” she sees

My DD used to have a huge fondness for cucumbers or as she would call them "cumbumbers" 😂

DD, 3.5, last week had a chocolate crêpe.

She was telling everyone for days about the yummy brown crap she had eaten 😅

I may or may not have asked her a few times if she would like to go back to the place we got it, just to get her to ask for a delicious crap again.

😂😂😂 a truly magnificent array of awkward! Thanks to you all for making the madness less lonely!

"MUMMY!!!!! I found you a dick. You love dick don't you Mummy" much to the hilarity of the builders working next door. I mean what woman doesn't want a collection of STICKS by her front door

My now 10yr old used to make "basket" sound like "bastard" would would get very excited about picking one up and carrying it around the store. So would excitedly being saying "get the bastard" as we crossed the car park. 🤦🏽‍♀️

My daughter (she was 5) told me that a little girl had called her friendJulia a 'fuckin' cow.
Horrified silence.
'That's naughty to call people a cow, isn't it?'
'Yes...'

"mummy, that picture is all wanky"

Wonky, it's wonky.

DS (now 12, so in possession of slightly better diction I'm pleased to say) once announced very loudly in church "look, the fuckin' troller".... many double takes from those around whilst we flashed awkward smiles and pointed to the picture of the fat controller in the TTTE book.