Embarrassing toddler mispronunciations

[Mudday]

My 3.5 year old DS loves playing with fake gold coins as part of some fun pirate treasure island games. The problem is that he inexplicably pronounces 'coins' as 'C U Next TuesdayS'! Aargh! Our horror was duly noted and he now finds it hilarious to yell his version of the word despite constant corrections. Does anyone else have this kind of problem or are we alone on this frustrating road of judgment and social ruin?

We call DS’ willy his winkie and he pronounces it his wankie. Occasionally his wanker woo instead of winkie woo.

Our 2 year old ds was shouting "bastard ! Bastard !" In Asda and it took us a while to realize he was shouting and pointing at the baskets
I was talking to our 4 year old dd today and said to her "your dad and brother are out gallivanting!" She said "why are they out Willy wanking mammy?"

I’m going down the slide bastards! (Backwards)

Paw patrol was pronounced as ars*hole when my DS was 2! Raised a few eyebrows when he was wondering around places singing the theme tune

@bagheera92

Our 2 year old ds was shouting "bastard ! Bastard !" In Asda and it took us a while to realize he was shouting and pointing at the baskets I was talking to our 4 year old dd today and said to her "your dad and brother are out gallivanting!" She said "why are they out Willy wanking mammy?"

This made me laugh out loud 🤣

'Look mammy a wan-kar a wan-kar! A lady and a wan-kar! It came to light ds was meaning white car!

Also another classic was 'look daddy a big cock a big cock the man has a baby cock on his arm!

We had to correct him so many times!

He was meaning clock!

As a toddler, DD loved a nursery rhyme DVD that had a picture of a clock on the front. She is a teen now but I still vividly recall the day she was a bit overtired and kept shouting: "I want cock!" as we went round the supermarket.

Our friends had a dog called Bilbo - DD3 called it Dildo and always had to shout it at the top of her voice whenever we went anywhere with poor bilbo

I know someone who's daughter pronounced trunks (as In swimming trunks) 'cu*s' que much embarrassment in the changing rooms at the pool DADDY WHERE ARE YOUR CU*S

Popcorn = 'cock porn'. Hilarious. He's aged 21 now and it's a family joke. Not rude, but cat flap = 'slat clap'. Another family favourite.

My friends son excitedly told me that he was having a “bouncy arsehole “ for his birthday- a bouncy castle . We still tease him 13 years later !

My DD1 used to pronounce chocolate as cockolate.

She also pronounced injections as elections, once announcing to a packed waiting room in our doctor's surgery that her new baby sister had to come back again for some more elections. 🙄

I remember my nephew asking very loudly in the cinema for Cock porn! (popcorn)

Another one whose toddler is a big fan of pointing out “cocks” (clocks) wherever we go. Also both DC1 and DC2 have had the same t shirt with a crab on. Both of them mispronounced it as “crap”. “Mummy, I wear my crap t shirt today” 🙈. I’ve decided not to pass it down to DC3!

My eldest tells everyone she meets that her baby sister is a naughty nap dogger. Her baby sister is a nap DODGER (though I think the former would be slightly easier to parent)

Fox in the snow = fucking snowing
Tangerine (in my language, but still doesn't sound anything like it) = wanker
Stick = dick

Those were all last winter. He's just turned three and kept asking for arseberries the other day. You might know them as raspberries

The blueberries = boobies has reminded me of the few weeks that DS spent asking for blackies (blackberries) at every opportunity thank F for lockdown!

Not rude as such, but DD2 recently told the staff at her new preschool that her "known as" name was Fairy.

It is not.

But being all child centred, affirmative etc they called her Fairy for a whole day until pick up.

She also asked for "political jam" recently which turned out to be "the little jam" ie toy jar of jam.

She once started heckling a random man in the street, shouting "elf! ELF!" at him.

Her twin brother recently and completely inexplicably shouted at a random bloke waiting, "he's going to London to find a man for himself!" No idea.

our cat regularly goes by titty (kitty) 🐈

Oh mine do a LOT of these too!

Not a mispronunciation but I just bathed mine this evening for bed and was going over opposites with them. I said “so you’re short and daddy is tall like a giraffe”. My two year old said “no mummy, giraffe is tall, daddy is short and I’m beautiful” yessss!!!

Football always sounded like fuck all 😬

No idea why but ds began screaming WHORE at a random lady at the bus stop he was pointing at her too like a tiny little judge passing sentence she was blushing like mad and was glad we were on a different bus

Ds 2 knife fucking spoon he never asked for one it was all three

Dd liked tinky winky she called him kinky I wasn't going to buy her one from the shop cue foghorn going off screaming I WANT KINKY GIVE ME KINKY PLEASE I NEED KINKY!

I stopped at three

DD (2) pronounces cracker as fucker 🙈 especially fun when she screaming FUCKERS on a packed bus as I produced a bag of crackers for her.

DS used to shout GAY while being pushed along in his buggy. It turned out to mean ‘sky’, so was often accompanied by pointing, and if a random man happened to be vaguely in the direction of the pointed finger, it was very embarrassing all round.