Embarrassing toddler mispronunciations

[Mudday]

My 3.5 year old DS loves playing with fake gold coins as part of some fun pirate treasure island games. The problem is that he inexplicably pronounces 'coins' as 'C U Next TuesdayS'! Aargh! Our horror was duly noted and he now finds it hilarious to yell his version of the word despite constant corrections. Does anyone else have this kind of problem or are we alone on this frustrating road of judgment and social ruin?

My DS also used to say fork and knife (fucken knife) instead of knife and fork. It was even worse when he once got a play gardening set and became the proud owner of a fork & hoe!

Bilingual household - knife is a 'faca'.

At a friend's house having dinner I knock a knife from the table. 'Mama, fucker!' he helpfully shouts.

Df's kids thought it was hilarious, df not so much

DS:
'Please' for some time inexplicably came out as 'blood'
'Quack' - 'twat'

DD:
'sock' - 'cock' - leading to a memorable time she wandered around the house naked, saying sadly "I can't find my cock".

Freud would have had a field day.

DD is now a teenager but one abiding memory of her as a toddler is when she said to her DGM "Grandma, me want a whore" - (was asking for a straw and she used to use 'h' for all s words!!).

Thankfully Grandma had a great sense of humour

@SickandTiredAgain. We had the "fuck" for "quack" thing too.

Absolutely mortifying when DC would sit and talk to the ducks at the top of their voice when feeding them. "Fuck, fuck, ducky, here's some food, fuck fuck!"

Can I have some COCKPORN? shouted at top volume in the cinema was my personal favourite!

My son used to say "wanks" instead of thanks.

"Wank you"

My son very loudly said 'I need some booze!' I still don't know what he was trying to say though....

I take great pleasure in reminding DS (now 14) that when he was little he couldn’t say “stick” - it always came out as “dick”. Endless amusement for our friends on woodland walks where DS would talk endlessly about his “big dick” that he was carrying round

We live rurally, near lots of sheep. The "ee" used to be shortened, and the "p" was never very clear, so we often used to sound like we were going for a walk to see the shit...

My other son often wants a 'wanky'....

My fault for calling the blankets 'blanky'.

My DH (not DSs dad) was horrified the first time he heard that, yet he still stayed

'I want big tits!' dd used to shout when out in public
(Translation: I want biscuits)

We have a game called ‘smelly wellies’ that my 2 yo calls silly willies

I think my most embarrassing moment was DS running through John Lewis yelling "Mummy Mummy let's go see the faggots." He was aiming for the Fabrics.

Putting my eldest in the bath when he was two and a bit and his pronunciation wasn't great. He must have been wearing new socks that day as there were a couple of bits of sock fluff floating about. He asked me what they were so I said 'it's just sock fluff from your feet' and he proudly (and loudly) said 'oh, cock fluff!!'

My sister and I aged 4 had an imaginary game where our dolls were called Princess Bethel and Brothel. No idea how we got the names. I think my mother just ignored it.until we went into something else.

@Wagglerock

"mummy, that picture is all wanky"

Wonky, it's wonky.

I was going to say "wanky" too! Our 3 yr old has said it twice recently by accident, she means "janky"!!

😂😂😂😂 flaming hilarious! Every post is just hysterical!

My son insists on going to the bitch every day and likes to shout it in the middle of the high street on the way there.

Called blueberries boobies, always fun when out shopping!

@hashbrownsandwich

My son, now aged 7, used to pronounce clock as COCK! He would always get so excited pointing at the clock on the wall.

DD was very fond of Andy's Dinosaur Adventures. She was always asking to watch "Andy's Big Cock".

"Wanker! shouted at the top of her voice whenever she saw a red car.

DS: Oh look, there’s a hoe-cano on the tv mummy!
Me: a what
DS: a hoecano
Me:
DS:
Me: oh a VOLcano. I see. Ok.

This is outing but....when DS was about 2, he had a doll. He loved the song miss Polly had a dolly and he got into his head the dolly was called sick sick. So he called his doll sick sick. A little odd but all fine, except he couldn't pronounce his Ss at the time. Again, normal and fine except when we're at the park with said doll - DS puts her on the swing and she falls off, cue yelling Dick dick is hurt