4 year old wants to play out all the time

[inmyslippers]

I can't relax. Feel like I have to stick my head out every 5mins. He started playing out at 3 and I would sit outside. Over summer I began letting him have short
Intervals alone. He plays with some of the older kids and that eases my mind abit. Keeping him in feels cruel when there's so many kids out. Soon as we get back from school he's on my case to go out. I used to roam around unsupervised in the 90s and I doubt my mum even noticed I was gone.

FOUR?

Jesus. I’m not a helicopter parent by any means but there’s no way I would let a child who is developmentally too young to have proper impulse control play out on their own.

I think the fact that you can’t relax means you know it’s not right either OP!

When I say a 3 year old, they have a parent or older sibling walking them. I let mine start to play out at 3 but also supervised.

I call buuuuuullshit! Come on guys, this is blatantly NOT TRUE

Your story has changed again. Now there are parents out there...

I don't think it sounds that crazy OP. Especially if he's in earshot and there are no roads.

^^ yes he's not left alone wandering the streets. I can hear him and the other kids, myself and other parents stick their heads and out to check on them. Older kids come and go as they please.

I call buuuuuullshit! Come on guys, this is blatantly NOT TRUE

^^ why? Check my posting history. As for the three year old. He plays out pretty much every day when weathers nice.

Thinking of it OP, I played out in the early 80s alone - we weren't rural either. I vividly remember playing 'round the block' and we moved before my 5th birthday so I must've been out at the age of 4.

On two separate occasions I was approached by men - one who wanted me to play hide and seek another who shouted me from his car to pick his 10p off the floor, I did and when I passed it to him he was naked from the waist down.

So yeah, we did have more freedom then but it certainly wasn't safe. I judge my mum a bit tbh - even if you're 'relaxed' enough to let your 4 year old play out I don't know what she was thinking allowing me out after the first incident.

4 is too young to be out unsupervised with older kids

I’ve only just started allowing my 8 year old out. There’s a 5 year old allowed out in my street and his mother is the talk of the street. No one can believe he’s allowed out.

You do what you’re comfortable with ! However mine wouldn’t be out without me full stop at that age.

I agree four is too young, usually the kids that bad things happen to are unsupervised making them an easy target. Other kids shouldn’t have any responsibility either over the younger ones in this type of situation. At the end of the day, If anything went wrong they likely won’t be able to handle it. At best you might get a knock at your door from them. I remember I was also left out to play young and got approached too, I also judge my mum now for taking chances on me now I have my own. I do agree kids should play outside but with full supervision at that age.

I understand, OP, I can’t fucking stand kids, and parenting. I chose not to have a kid 🤷🏻‍♀️

If there are no roads, how do cars get to the houses? How do tractors get to the farm? I'm assuming it's a special farm with no tractors, no grain storage, no slurry pit etc etc.

Mine are allowed in the garden unsupervised, we live rurally but I have no way to predict if my neighbour (there are two houses by us) may have a delivery. Nor can I predict horses or livestock on the Lane or tractors.

Invite the other children to play in your garden or sit out the front in a chair reading a book but please don't leave a four year to be supervised by other small children.

Oh, wow, OP, you’re just too cool for school. Yawn.

If you can't say 'no' at 4 what will you do when he's 14?

You obviously don’t feel it’s absolutely fine for a 4 year old to play out alone though because you need him to be with older children to ‘set your mind at ease.’

So you do want someone to watch him, you just don’t want to do it. Personally I wouldn’t let a four year old play out supervised by older children. He can’t be responsible for himself and the other kids can’t be made responsible for him. It only takes a child suggesting they go off to the park/shops and him going along then getting left behind, and becoming vulnerable.

And, yes, cases like those mentioned are rare. That’s no comfort when it’s happened to you. That’s nothing to say to the police ‘oh but people hardly ever grab kids from the street round here.’

Also, it doesn’t need to necessarily be a case of being kidnapped. He could fall and smash his head open. He could be sexually abused by an older child. He could simply be bullied by other children.

He’s too young to look after himself and the other kids are unlikely to know how to care for and protect a four year old.

Why is your posting history supposed to act as verification? You could be a serial liar for all we know.

Farms are really dangerous. People who underestimate that are fools.

I can well believe this is true. I think 4 is way too young to be out without adult supervision. Lived on a gated community for a few years. My DS's friends, all 4 and upwards would run around the compound with literally no one watching them - there were no pavements, just the road, and then a fenced off grassy area with a swimming pool inside. If my DS wanted to go out and play with them I'd park my bum down outside and make sure I could always see him, but virtually none of the other parents did. Once some of the kids got into the pool area and we're found balancing on the edge of it. Another kid, who was 4 at the time, was always outside his house regardless of whether any other kids were just and would just walk around the compound all by himself trying to open car doors, crawling under cars and trying to climb peoples fences. Insane. But the parents thought it was great that their kids could have so much independence despite how some of them behaved. My DS would have loved it if I'd have gone inside and left him to it with his mates but as he was 4/5 years old at the time there was no fucking way.

It depends a lot on the area, there are places (not on MN) where children do play out.

OP

Keep checking as you are. Before you know it your DS will be the older child looking out for the younger ones.

Surely this thread isn't real 🤔

^ I hope it's not too.

@sashh

It depends a lot on the area, there are places (not on MN) where children do play out.

OP

Keep checking as you are. Before you know it your DS will be the older child looking out for the younger ones.

Why not on MN, has a survey been done? To me, 'playing out' means out of doors, in the back garden.

I doubt many children would be playing in the street at the age of four.

Are there really no parents or older children there at all?
What about sexual assault, physical and verbal abuse, bullying? At 4 you need to be there and 6/7 year olds are generally not sensible or responsible enough to be in charge of someone else's 3/4/5 year old.
If you want quiet reading time hire a babysitter.

Also I don't believe that you check every 5 minutes if you are reading a book.

4 yr old is too young to be playing out.Have a word with yourself.