4 year old wants to play out all the time

[inmyslippers]

I can't relax. Feel like I have to stick my head out every 5mins. He started playing out at 3 and I would sit outside. Over summer I began letting him have short
Intervals alone. He plays with some of the older kids and that eases my mind abit. Keeping him in feels cruel when there's so many kids out. Soon as we get back from school he's on my case to go out. I used to roam around unsupervised in the 90s and I doubt my mum even noticed I was gone.

In some areas it's quite common for children as young as 4 to play out. We live on a 1970s estate with lots of pedestrianised areas. In my road the houses all front on to a small green and all the kids play out, parents keeping an eye on them.

As pp has said OP, it'll soon be dark so he won't be able to play out anymore .

such as? ever heard of Jamie bulger? Older kids took him in a split second.
How about madeleine mccann? Her parents "popped in" on her too.

^^ very true but also very rare. Sadly most
Children that are harmed or abused it's usually someone within the family home. But yes I understand that fear. Hence why I feel the need to check every so often

Hence why I feel the need to check every so often
Not as rare as you'd like it to be, and also checking every so often isn't good enough when you let a 4 year old out to play. It's bloody ridiculous.

Wow this is child neglect. If the police catch you you could get charged.

DC's can learn independence without compromising their safety.

You sound incredibly selfish, OP. I'd also like to read my book/sit on my phone when my 4 year old wants to play, but I don't, because I chose to have a child and care for him.

I agree with everyone else. A 4 year old is too young to be out without an adult. 4 year olds just do not have the capacity to keep themselves safe. Roads, people, walking off etc.

I would also be annoyed if my older child was effectively looking after someone else's 4 year old. How awful would they feel if something happened to your child when they were with them?

Not as rare as you'd like it to be, and also checking every so often isn't good enough when you let a 4 year old out to play. It's bloody ridiculous.

^ ok well let's agree to disagree. Seems
to be the norm where I live and Im glad
of it.

This isnt an agree to disagree thing this is your child's safety

I've got a 4 year old and she's allowed in our secure back garden by herself, with us keeping an eye on her from the house. Not a chance in hell I'd let her out the front onto the street without supervision. My older kids were allowed out at around 6, by themselves, on a very safe cul-de-sac.

But yes I understand that fear. Hence why I feel the need to check every so often

But you’re ignoring that to fulfil some ideal about children playing in fields?

Tbh I think you’re being massively unfair to the older children too, they’re too young to shoulder the burden if anything happened to your four year old. That’s a massive responsibility you’re putting on them.

At the very least grab a blanket and set yourself up nearby with a book so they can call on you easily.

This can’t be for real, who in their right mind would let a 3 year old play on streets alone?!

So find a bench/ take a fold up chair and read your book in the park. That's what I do. Loads of kids and parents around, half of us are sitting reading. Love our summer evenings in the park. I do what I want, which is read, and my 5 Yr old does what he wants, which is play in the park with his friends.

Op, i assume you are out with him?? I am all for kids playing outside, we are so lucky to live right in front of a green amd my almost 10 year old and 7 year old play out with their friends but even with my 7 year old i can see him at all times from ny window and often i just sit out where they cant see me.
I have a 4 year old and its absolutley crazy to let a child out this age without you, seriously.

This isnt an agree to disagree thing this is your child's safety

^^ currently safely playing a game of football with around 8 other kids of varying ages. It's when they rarely go quiet I worry

Clearly you don't take child safety seriously. Be thankful you're not my friend as I'd report you for neglect in a heartbeat.

It's OK if he is the back garden. Mine used to play out there with neighbours' children when the weather was fine, they had a great time in each other's back gardens, often until quite late in the holidays. Indoors in bad weather.

They are all very much adult now but look back on that time with great affection.

You must be the talk of the village!

So selfish sending your preschooler out on the streets so you can read a book in peace! I hope someone reports you!

I totally don't agree with micromanaging and helicoptor parenting and the opposite isnt just kids on screens.. There's a healthy balance op, it's really not ok to leave a 4 year old out on their own. For what its worth i was out a lot alone as a young child and tbh i had loads of dodgy incidents, ppl can really idealise kids playing out on their own and the alternative is always zombie kids on computers hmm]Kids have to learn life skills and being out on their own, navigating roads etc etc, not at 4 though ffs..

. In my road the houses all front on to a small green and all the kids play out, parents keeping an eye on them.

^^ finding this thread a cultural shock. It's the norm here. Can't say I'll be stopping it anytime soon. Spent summer sat out on front to get used to the idea of him being out playing. Only when I felt confident he'd be ok playing in a huge open field directly
Opposite my house did I start coming inside. There is a mix of ages playing and parents do the same so it's never been alarming to me. Although going off these responses people feel differently.

My son played out from 5. There was a gang of them. I couldn't always see him they would go between each other's houses. He gradually got to go further away as he got older

This thread Is obviously a wind up. Honestly it's disgusting to be letting a 4 year old out unsupervised. Checking every '5 minutes' it takes seconds to be hit by a car or for a stranger to take him or an older child to hurt him. Just why even put your child at potential risk?

You must be the talk of the village!

^^talk of Mumsnet it would seem. Worlds worst parent for letting my 4year old
Play football with the neighbour kids within hearing range 🤣 however will he survive

I’m beginning to think you’re right @MrsMiddleMother. I struggle to believe anyone has a blind spot this big.

OP you should up the game, I send my 2 year old to the local shop alone.

A local nearly 4yo use to play out here with his older siblings and their friends. We are all living literally opposite a park.

He would run to and from home alone when he wanted.

Unfortunately that was whether there were cars coming or not.

After he nearly got hit for the 3rd time in a week and the family wouldn't do anything about supervising him a number of us made separate referrals of concern to SS.

We didn't see him out unsupervised by an adult for over a year after that.

Read your book. Just do it outside where you can watch your child or in the garden and invite some kids in to play with him (if you have one)