4 year old wants to play out all the time

[inmyslippers]

I can't relax. Feel like I have to stick my head out every 5mins. He started playing out at 3 and I would sit outside. Over summer I began letting him have short
Intervals alone. He plays with some of the older kids and that eases my mind abit. Keeping him in feels cruel when there's so many kids out. Soon as we get back from school he's on my case to go out. I used to roam around unsupervised in the 90s and I doubt my mum even noticed I was gone.

Feel sorry for the older kids tbh.

They probably want peace to be kids whilst you read your book.

Yes, you do have to watch him. You're a parent. What we're you hoping for? He'd learn to hunt and leave home at 3?

FFS read your book when he's in bed! Not a chance in hell I'd let my 4yo outside the front door without my supervision.

Not particularly concerned about abduction - we remember JB & MMc BECAUSE they are so rare. If it was an every day occurrence, you wouldn't remember each case

But a 4 Yr old can wander off, get lost, stuck, hurt. That's not for an "older child" to police. Would you blame them if he got hurt?

ter he nearly got hit for the 3rd time in a week and the family wouldn't do anything about supervising him a number of us made separate referrals of concern to SS.

*^ that's so sad, there's no passing
Traffic where the kids play. They all play together nobody gives the older kids a job of watching the younger ones.

You say you can't totally relax and the replies on here are telling you why. Is he going to kick off if you stop him? This is a parenting issue.

Is he going to kick off if you stop him? This is a parenting issue.

^^ the minute I pick him up from school the kid is on my case to go out. Kind of has its uses though, can't go out till he's changed and had tea. It's a great incentive.

My children were born in the 70s, and I also fostered and childminded, so I have hindsight to look back on. The children who were allowed "out to play", and there were many amongst our friends and family, were the ones who turned into the teenagers who continued to go out and hang about on the streets. Many of them got into trouble. Right from the beginning we welcomed other kids into our house and garden, and our children were only allowed out if they were going somewhere specific. During my nursery nurse training we were taught that children of preschool age do not understand that if they are run over they will be badly hurt, as their experience of cars is comfortable, They only BEGIN to be able to judge the speed of oncoming cars at age 10.
They do not understand stranger danger or what constitutes a stranger. Try asking your child about various people in the village, after warning him not to go anywhere with a stranger. First, "What is a stranger?" Is the postman, the lady in the end house, the ice cream man etc, a stranger?"
When my eldest son was six, the local policeman went into the school to talk about all these things, and he gave the children bookmarks that reiterated what they had been taught. My friend's little boy came out of school very excited and telling his mum all about the policeman's visit. She asked him what he'd learned. He paused, looked at the picture at the top of the bookmark, and said "Do not talk to big bad wolves?"
In the years since my children have grown up there have been many cases of child abduction and murder. Your child is too young to go "out to play" @inmyslippers

The kid is on my case... wow. You're really coming across as a lovely caring mother

YOU have given them the job! By not watching him yourself because it's ok because they're there

The kid is on my case... wow. You're really coming across as a lovely caring mother

^^ I asked him and he said he gets more biscuits out his Nan. Can't compete with that

Oh i see why you posted op, you don't want advice on supervising your small child, you want advice on how to relax and read your book. Sit with your back to the window, get some headphones and have a huge glass of wine, then you can relax without pesky kids, yours included, disturbing you.

I get it, you mean he goes out into the street to play; I thought you meant n the back garden.

That is not on.

Read what Howareyouflower said a few posts above. It's sensible and sobering.

I'm glad nobody near my home let their children play in the street and it still doesn't happen around here. That is what back gardens are for.

If you can't relax with your 4 year old playing outside, then don't let him out!

Kids play out where we are on an estate. Parents are standing there on the field keeping their eyes on them until they’re around 7. 4 is too young, no one is letting a 4 year old out of their sight where we are.

Maybe you should be encouraging all of the kids to hop on the bus to the next nearest play field. Out of sight, out of mind and all that.

Bonus that your dc will still be entitled to a free fare.

This reminds me of April Jones who went missing and was murdered in a very safe, rural location. This is an unfair burden to put on the older children in the village.

If you’re so happy about letting him play outside on his own, OP, why have you bothered starting a thread? Is it literally just to complain that you can’t relax and read your book whilst your son plays outside unsupervised?

You're out of order, OP.

You should be supervising your son, as you well know.
Otherwise you wouldn't have

My 4 year old wanted to go out wearing his pants as a hat yesterday. I didn’t let him. It’s called parenting.

You're confusing 'independence' with 'lazy parenting'

If you’re so happy about letting him play outside on his own, OP, why have you bothered starting a thread? Is it literally just to complain that you can’t relax and read your book whilst your son plays outside unsupervised?

^^
Yes I can't wait for darker nights roll on by.

My 4 year old wanted to go out wearing his pants as a hat yesterday. I didn’t let him. It’s called parenting.

^^ tell that to rest of my neighbours. We've been here two years and I hope it never changes.

You wouldn't have asked the question in the first place and also admitted that you 'can't relax'.

And when people have contributed and given you the benefit of their experience, you pretty much laugh at every suggestion.

There's a great expression my friend uses, in times like these:
If you can't hear, you will feel.

This thread is so weird.

Anyone could snatch him in a heartbeat, and it would 💯 be down to your neglectful parenting. April Jones was snatched off the streets in a rural area where are the children were playing together, by a local man no one thought would harm a fly.
Have a think about that if you can tear yourself away from your book.