Someone said I stink

[Jen871]

This is more like a rant. When I'm doing the school run I wear the same clothes as I work 12 hour nights 8-8 and my son starts school at 8.45. I wear the same clothes to work because I work in a factory and I don't want to ruin good clothes.

The other day I was waiting for the teacher to open the door with some other parents, when I heard one of the parents say to the other that I stink. This annoyed me but I didn't say anything.

The annoying part is that these women don't work. They drop their kids off to school and then god knows what, they have no idea the 12 hour shift I've just done and how hard me and my husband work to be able to afford the luxuries we have.

I don't want my son picked on at school because parents are going around saying I stink. It's annoying as hell. I can't get changed after work because there just isn't time.

My late DH used to work in the messy part of the meat factory… there is a very distinct whiff to it, mixture of blood and animal fat, I think!
If DH was picking up Ds from school, he’d chuck a clean fleece over his work clothes and have a squirt of deodorant. Not perfect, but better. As a PP said, those with the ‘opinions’ probably buy and consume meat without thought of where it comes from.

Call them out. "I know I stink, I've been working in a factory for 12 hours until 8 am."

Although ... Where's your DS's other parent? Why can't they do the school run? Why is it dumped on you meaning you don't even get time for a shower after a 12 hour factory night shift?

I feel for you @Jen871. Must have made you feel ashamed when you have been working very hard all night then got the school run.
Way I see it is this problem isn’t going to go away unfortunately. You have two options:

1. Carry on as before with bitchy mums making comments which ultimately makes you feel embarrassed and also the added worry your child could end up bullied by other kids.
2. Have to find that 2 minutes to go to the loo and change very quickly and use loads of body spray to mask any lingering smell.

If it was me I would pick option 2. As wrong as the whole situation is I can’t see you have a choice. Your posting on here because the situation has upset/annoyed you. It’s not going to stop unless you choose option 2..... Xx

When you're cleaning a meat processing plant you get covered from head to toe in waterproof PPE because you're working with extremely strong hazardous chemicals and very hot water. You've got wellies on, it's rubber gloves, waterproof overalls, waterproof head coverings, mask and googles as well. All this PPE is handed in and cleaned at the end of every shift. So it's not like in this scenario OP is arriving at the school covered in meat. It's hard to know what exactly is going on, I imagine most people would pong a bit after 12 hours doing tough physicla work in waterproof overalls but beyond that who knows.

@gnushoes

The OP is working and looking after her son - why on earth should she have to spray herself with cheap perfume for five minutes of silly people? Agree that she should perhaps talk to the teacher and maybe also put something on WhatsApp about getting off her night shift with moments to spare. Perhaps as DS gets bigger she can literally drop him at the school gate and not socialise with the other parents until pick up when she's showered.

Becayse if you smell so bad that you need to put coverings in your car and other people are offended it’s likely going to end up being an issue for the child.

I would comment if someone actually stank- it's only natural to want to turn away from smelly people.

Well aren't you lovely. I would never comment if someone actually stank - but then I like to think I'm not a horrible person. No-one knows the circumstances of another person's life and there are far worse things than being smelly.

@Mrgrinch - you are a judgemental dick, and I would rather be smelly than be like you.

Goodness me, what hope is there for the kids if the parents behave like this. #bekind has disappeared then. I'd call them out on it to embarrass them in front of the other parents.

@MrsSkylerWhite

Can’t you just swap your work clothes into something simple and clean like a tracksuit and use a squirt of deodorant at the end of your shift? Would take no more than a minute.

Yes I would do this too, quickly switch clothes before you leave work into some joggers and a sweater.

Surely chucking tons of perfume or body spray on is just going to smell worse? We had a really smelly girl at school and trust me no one was fooled by her squirting Tweed around like it was going out of fashion.

They drop their kids off to school and then god knows what

They're probably eating bonbons and watching TV while being fanned by barely clad men...

You will smell, the factory smells, it's in your hair and clothes it's on your skin. All you can do is lessen the impact - clean work clothes every night, quick change into 'driving clothes' with a bit of body spray and something for your hair it should be enough to fend of the worst.

Everyone judges everyone all of the time - I judged those changing into their shiny wellies to do the (rural) school run by car. They probably judged me - I changed out of wellies for the school run, but was often covered in sheep poo, mud, dust or all three.

I would go full on passive-aggressive and say to the culprit 'I hope I don't smell, I've just done a 12 hour shift in a stinky factory and I'm worried that everyone thinks I smell and I find it quite upsetting' or something along those lines anyway. I typically apologise for stinking of sheep or horses if I have to stand close to anyone - at least then they know that it's not just my personal hygiene!

@Bluntness100 how sad that you think a hard working woman should have to fuss around herself just to please other rude, stuck up cows rather than call them out and get on with life. Hell, why not demand the OP puts on a little make up and some heels too?

@CommanderBurnham

Fuck Em. I'm sure most of them enjoy their steaks and chops.

yeah fuck them! there's nothing you can do as you are coming straight from work so fuck them fuck them fuck them

I am assuming the comment was made because possibly the smell wasn't recognised- if someone has BO, people know what it is but generally wouldn't comment on it. The smell from a meat factory would just register as a bad smell - people may comment on the smell, not realising it was actually 'attached' to someone.

I am surprised that if you know the mum's well enough to know that they are all SAHMs and do nothing all day, that they don't know what you do

It happens. It's like if you're a paramedic and did a 12hr shift and then drop off, you would be a bit sweaty! It's normal and they're rude

Perhaps you should (calmly and politely) speak to the person who said it, explain your situation and say that it was pretty hurtful to hear her say that. You don't owe her any explanation, but it might help.

Keep a clean shirt or sweater in the car so you can quickly change when you leave work ?
This is what I do as I work with horses and often smell like a muck heap.

I would do as others say. Keep a clean set of tracksuit type clothes away from the meat smell (or at home) and change and spray on some body mist. It would only take a couple of minutes. Not because of the arsehole mums but because their children may pick up on this and start to bully your son.

Shocking that you get a bit smelly working and providing for your family! Just try to ignore them. DH has had some looks although I don’t think anyone’s commented as he often used to do pickups covered in oil/diesel and potentially smelling of BO as well. Working people have to pick their kids up and we don’t always have the luxury of changing first.

It was very rude of them to mention it. But I do think you need to do something about it otherwise unfortunately I imagine your son won't get invited to things because ignorant idiots will make totally unfair assumptions.

I'd also be worried that the smell will get on your son too being in the car with you. You're probably quite oblivious to the smell as you'll be so used to it but other kids will notice.

I thought the suggestion above to ask if you could shorten your lunch by 5 minutes and finish 5 minutes earlier so you could change was a good one.

My mum used to work nights 8-8 in a nursing/dementia home when we were in school and had the same issue.
She used one of my dads huge sweatshirts that she put in the washing machine by itself with copious amounts of washing powder and fabric softener and a quick spritz of Body Shop White Musk body mist for her hair.

@gofg

I would comment if someone actually stank- it's only natural to want to turn away from smelly people.

Well aren't you lovely. I would never comment if someone actually stank - but then I like to think I'm not a horrible person. No-one knows the circumstances of another person's life and there are far worse things than being smelly.

@Mrgrinch - you are a judgemental dick, and I would rather be smelly than be like you.

I didn't write the comment you quoted, but okay.

Sympathies OP people are rubbish. As someone who knows the sort of place you work in as I deal with the smelly bits before they come to you, when I used to have to muck out in the morning before work the thing that helped the most was covering my hair as it seemed to trap the aromas (which were far worse than clean cooked meat!).

Not sure if you already do/can but it might help you feel a bit less self-conscious. Not that you should have to as it's hardly as though you're going there covered in bodily fluids or anything that would actually be offensive.

@Jen871

This is more like a rant. When I'm doing the school run I wear the same clothes as I work 12 hour nights 8-8 and my son starts school at 8.45. I wear the same clothes to work because I work in a factory and I don't want to ruin good clothes.

The other day I was waiting for the teacher to open the door with some other parents, when I heard one of the parents say to the other that I stink. This annoyed me but I didn't say anything.

The annoying part is that these women don't work. They drop their kids off to school and then god knows what, they have no idea the 12 hour shift I've just done and how hard me and my husband work to be able to afford the luxuries we have.

I don't want my son picked on at school because parents are going around saying I stink. It's annoying as hell. I can't get changed after work because there just isn't time.

When I'm doing the school run I wear the same clothes as I work 12 hour nights 8-8 and my son starts school at 8.45

Bloodyhell that's tough, and a very tight schedule. However, yes, this is why you smell. A lot of people start getting a bit pungent after a normal office 8 hr day, so no wonder you smell. If this were me, and I genuinely didn't have the time to change or wash after a night shift and I'd heard this sort of comment, I'd be tempted to make a sign around my neck for every one to see saying - I've just come off a 12 hr shift - have you'?

Fuck’s sake, you probably do smell but it’s because you have been working, not because you are neglectful of hygiene!

45 mins to get out, get home and drop the kid off does not give time for a freshen up beyond a quick squirt of whatever you have handy. OP, rise above it and teach your child to do the same. You’re providing for your family, nothing shameful in that. I grew up in a rural community and plenty kids smelt of farm!

After the kids have gone in I’d just tell them exactly what you’ve told us here and advise them not to stand downwind of me.

At least you can go home and wash the smell off, they can’t remove the stench of their rancid souls 😇 💐💐