Someone said I stink

[Jen871]

This is more like a rant. When I'm doing the school run I wear the same clothes as I work 12 hour nights 8-8 and my son starts school at 8.45. I wear the same clothes to work because I work in a factory and I don't want to ruin good clothes.

The other day I was waiting for the teacher to open the door with some other parents, when I heard one of the parents say to the other that I stink. This annoyed me but I didn't say anything.

The annoying part is that these women don't work. They drop their kids off to school and then god knows what, they have no idea the 12 hour shift I've just done and how hard me and my husband work to be able to afford the luxuries we have.

I don't want my son picked on at school because parents are going around saying I stink. It's annoying as hell. I can't get changed after work because there just isn't time.

@Mrgrinch I used to work with live animals. It didn’t matter if I changed, I still smelled and it wasn’t due to my own personal hygiene. The smell gets into your skin and into your hair. You’re just being deliberately insulting.

Put a change of clothes in the car to put on once you get out of your job. It takes two mins to change clothes and can easily be done at work before you exit or in your car!

Ask them to come round and collect your child for school, so that you no longer offend their pretty noses.

Or tell the teacher that you child will come in later every morning so you can clean up and no longer offend the other mums' sensibilities.

No, i would not be nice about it ( I work in an office).

@HarlanPepper

I'm very surprised you don't get full PPE to do a job like that and that there aren't shower facilities at your work. I have worked in very similar environments and these have been standard.

Op doesn't have time to shower regardless unless DS will be late every day

I don't think that there's anything you can do. You don't have enough time to shower and get changed before the school run. Just ignore them, or just smile and say, "sorry I know I stink. I've just worked a 12 hour shift at the meat factory! Going home now to have a shower!" I'm pretty sure if they knew, they'd feel bad for commenting. If it carries on, just ignore them. My dad used to work in a chip shop, he used to smell so bad until his bath. As the smell was in his hair too. What can you do!

Well you do probably smell so you do risk your son getting picked on because of you 🤷‍♀️
It wouldn't take two
Mins then wash and throw some clothes on !

Sorry you've had this, OP. It's women though, isn't it? Some are just a bit lacking and blurt out whatever absurd thoughts are in their heads.

Here's the thing; IF they were standing on their own they would have said nothing. I also think that if you were a man they would likely have said nothing also.

You've nothing to be ashamed of or to apologise for. I'd take a selection from the posters on this thread who've offered you support and stand up for yourself. These fucking women, what sort of chance have their kids got?

I've just had another thought- if you small that badly then the smell will linger on DS when he gets out the car.

For that reason alone I think you need to revisit all options for smelling a bit fresher. Kids are more likely to pick up on it if he smells than if you do.

I like marni and Beautiful3's responses particularly.

Why would you get in your car with contaminated clothes? Surely it would take 2 minutes to change clothes at the factory and pull on clean clothes. Use them all week to pick up your child. You'll feel better and have more pride in yourself (as will your child).

You should have confronted these mums and told them what you told us. It’s not your fault, you work hard to provide for your family and you just haven’t got time in the morning.

Just another thought - could you have another set of work clothes, just so you can alternate throughout the week so you're always putting on freshly clean work clothes every day

@SleepingStandingUp

Ie just change a few mins before the end of your shift? I'm sure her boss will love her wandering off to get dressed before her shift ends every morning 🙄

Unless she’s under very strict conditions most employees are allowed to pop to the loo, and a change of top and leggings doesn’t take more than five mins.

It is clearly bad if she has seat coverings in the car. So as much as it was incredibly rude for this woman to state it like she did, knowing you stink very badly and being round other people is really a situation you should try to find a solution for.

I'm sorry you have been subjected to this OP. Unfortunately there are bitches everywhere. I would ignore them, but keep an eye on your DS and if you think any of the other kids are saying anything to him then contact his teacher. Hold your head up high - you are better than them.

Unless she’s under very strict conditions most employees are allowed to pop to the loo, and a change of top and leggings doesn’t take more than five minsthere's a difference popping to the loo when needed and every shift swanning off 5 minutes early, getting out of your uniform and then not doing any work. Honestly, most businesses would not be impressed with this

Knowing you stink very badly and being round other people is really a situation you should try to find a solution for.

Why? She works in a meat factory, not a uranium plant. Smelling a bad smell isn't gonna kill people!

So rude to make the comment, I think. However, there is a practical consideration about whether her son might be bullied because the other children hear about this and start picking on him (which is unacceptable too, but the sad reality is that children can be cruel).

How rude! You work hard and don't deserve this.

If the smell is mostly on your hands and fingers try rubbing them vigorously with the peel of a lemon. Orange works too. Lemon oil is excellent as a way to cut through strong smells. Lavender and Rosemary are good too, but lemon is by far the best and most effective.

Also, is it at all possible to do a "drive by" drop off? Drive up to the school gates, your son jumps out of the car and straight into school and you drive off?

The other parents are arseholes.

Is it possible for you to get together with other workers and put in a petition for your boss to provide showering and changing facilities and provide people with an extra 20minutes or so after the shift (maybe it could be taken in turns if it's too tight). I know they do this kind of thing for other jobs where people work with toxins, bins and other unsafe transferables. For the sake of hygiene at least. You may not be the only one with problems, some colleagues may not want to stink on public transport, or school runs too. Worth asking around I think.

I have learned a response from son.
He works on a farm in the next village to ours. I bumped into him a couple of months ago in the post office. To be fair he absolutely stink but had nipped out for a favour fir his boss. We overheard comments from two women about him. Without missing a bear or without being rude he quipped, 'well you haven't got covid, nowt up with your sense of smell there!"
Mumbled apologies from them!
To be honest I direct but non confrontational approach is probably best to nip this in the bud.
Next time I would bring it up first. ' blimey I bet you can smell me a mile off, cant wait to get in for my shower!!, working nights is a killer!'

They are dicks for saying it, but if they can smell you out in the open air then you must stink let's face it.
Can you not carry around a bottle of fabulosa spray and wear and put that in5 the clothes you are wearing before you get out of the car.
I understand why you are saying you are like that but if someone mentioned it in my presence I would be absolutely mortified quite frankly and there must be a few minutes you can spare to get a bit fresher before the school run .

It's really awful of the other parents, but your DS will start to get picked on before too long if you become known as the 'smelly mum'

If any of the ideas PPs have posted might work for you then try it. If not then it just sucks, I'm sorry :(

I can't stand rudeness. There is a mum at school that does actually smell. Because I speak to her (our sons are in the same class) I know that she is struggling financially and I assume she does not have many clothes or easy access to washing them. If I overheard someone saying that she smelled I would stick up for her, there is no need for rudeness, no one knows what it's like to be in someone else's situation.
For you op, just get changed, in the car even? Can you wear a hat of some sort at work to keep the smell off your hair?

People say unpleasant things all the time. If it wasn't this it'd be something else. The best thing you can do is demonstrate to your son that you don't give a flying fandoodle what they say.

The OP is working and looking after her son - why on earth should she have to spray herself with cheap perfume for five minutes of silly people? Agree that she should perhaps talk to the teacher and maybe also put something on WhatsApp about getting off her night shift with moments to spare. Perhaps as DS gets bigger she can literally drop him at the school gate and not socialise with the other parents until pick up when she's showered.

My typos and eyesight are getting worse. Son didnt miss a bear!! There was no fir involved.
I need specsavers before I post!