Hello, I'm new here, and this post will be very long, so I apologise in advance. I hope I've posted this in the right place (admins feel free to move if not) and that I can get some advice, please.
I'm 56 years of age, work full time, and after six miscarriages, three each with two partners, I was blessed with a son.
I live in Bedford with no family local parental network support. My parents live up north and are in there eighties and my brother also lives up north.
Following our sons birth, my ex was diagnosed with postnatal depression. Following successful medical support and treatment she got better but decided she wanted a divorce which she applied for and has now been finalised.
On this Thursday, 12th August, I have a final Child Access Court Hearing. It's been ongoing for two years. This is because my ex has made many false accusations about me, such as physically abusing my son, not bathing him, not changing his nappy, not feeding him, the list goes on.
Our son is nearly three and a half now. He doesn't speak; well, he says gibberish; he knows what he's saying at least, and he's not potty trained.
As mentioned I live in Bedford and my ex moved to Nottingham 100 miles away. Due to the distance only see our son every other weekend. My ex refuses to do any of the travelling so I make the two trips to collect and return him. This adds up to a total of 400 miles, 8-hour journeys over the two days.
Included in the child access request I’m making is to have my son every other weekend, alternate birthdays, Christmas, holidays and for both parents to share the travelling.
On one occasion, my ex physically assaulted me, scratching my bare chest and back, drawing blood. The cuts took several months to heal; mentally, it took a little longer. This was reported to the police. Because I reported the assault, my ex stopped me seeing our son for three months. Just as the police decided to prosecute my ex reinstated contact. Fearful of her preventing me from seeing our son again, I instructed the police not to prosecute.
She has on a number of occasions reported me to Child Services, the Police, and Caffcass for abusing our son. On all occasions and all accounts, they found there was no case to answer.
I have this morning received a copy of her child access statement for Thursday's court hearing. In it, she repeats all the accusations mentioned above and claims the cuts I received in the assault, I'd made myself.
The big shock in the statement I received this morning, my ex is requesting the court to give me full custody and for her to see our son every other weekend. For our son's best interest, I'm going to agree to this; of course, the final decision will be down to the judge on Thursday. But if the judge does give me full custody, where do I start? What do I need to think about?
I'm a little in shock after everything that's gone on these last two years, and I guess I'm asking for help to focus.
Thank you for reading, and thank you in advance for any advice you may have.