I want to give up breast feeding already

[ExcitingTimes2021]

My little girl was only born 2/8/21 so only a few days old and I always said I would try breast feeding. Now only 5 days old and I just want to give up and switch to formulas instead.

I feel I just either have her on my breast or screaming for my breast and nothing else. I feel awful for my partner as he is getting no cuddles or baby time as she is always screaming. My nipples hurt, Iv watched endless videos but can’t get a good latch. Nipples just look like lipsticks at end of every feed and baby wants back on 10/20 mins later. I just spend all my time crying and this is not what I thought being a parent would be like. Two of my friends have recently had babies and their formula fed little ones just seams so much less screamy and theirs daddies can actually enjoy being daddies. Please help!

I have a video consultation with and infancy feeding person at 10am and a routine hospital appointment Saturday morning but can’t see them helping to be honest now.

Haaka suctions onto your boob (easy when you get the hang of it) and catches the let down from the opposite side you’re feeding on. I found it really useful in the early days, I would only get 10 or 20ml at first. I found later on if I used it during a night feed (if it was a night with only 1 or 2 feeds) I could get a lot more, like 60-90ml. I used it to get enough milk through the day for 1 bottle for my husband to give at about 12 so I could get a solid block of sleep.

I started using a Hakka pump where DS was 7 weeks old. It soft silicone, you squeeze the bottom bit and it sucks onto your boob. You can squeeze it as much or as little as you like to change how much it suctions.

Because of the suction milk just comes out and is collected in the bottom.

It’s really easy and no extra effort than just feeding. If I use it on and off for a day then we have enough for 1 bottle.

It’s up to you entirely.
One option is to aim to Breastfeed for 1 month. If it’s still not working for you after then think about your options again. It gets easier and it’s most important for the first few weeks.

It’s really hard and no one tells you!

I found setting myself little milestones, 3 weeks then 6, then 8 (introduced a final ff then btw) then 12 weeks and then I carried on because it was easy. At 3 weeks I couldn’t imagine how easy it would become!

Equally one DC is ff and one bf. It’s impossible to know which is which.

Don’t feel guilty whatever you do. Especially about your partner. His time will come and in the meantime nappy changes and baths are ways to bond.

@ExcitingTimes2021 - it suctions onto the breast you aren't feeding from. The best part about it is that you do it at the same time as feeding, so it doesn't create an extra chunk of time that you're pumping for (there don't need to be 'extra' pumping sessions that take time when you could have just been feeding the baby yourself. That's what always put me off traditional pumping!).

It also can help build your supply a bit. Can also be used to ease any discomfort from engorgement.

If it doesn't work for you, it doesn't work for you (and your family). But worth a go as they aren't a huge investment.

Remember: happy mum = happy baby. It's always ok to feed baby babies n whatever way you can!!

I personally find breastfeeding difficult at the moment (ds is 4 months) but that's because he has a bit of tongue tie. Fed dd until 15 months. Can be much easier than bottles once you get in the rhythm of things.

Get some help and suppport, do what's right for you. It will be OK.
Baby will be OK.

Haakaa is fine if you have a big passive milk supply. If you don't then it probaby won't do much for you.

Haaka works on my left boob. My right never ever leaks a drop when I feed on the left.

Have you had any support. I went to 2 different breastfeeding clinics and was helped a lot by their specialists who were incredibly knowledgeable. Are these even running atm in covid? Have you spoken to your HV?

Was your appointment @ 10am with the midwife? Midwife is different to HV. And completely different to a breast feeding specialist.
You could ring your HV tomorrow. Or GP.
You could try and find if there's one (breast feeding clinic) at your local hospital. Or a private one. Who could come to your house?

But if that doesn't work, please remember it doesn't matter. Your MH and happiness does. No 18 year old cares whether they were bf or not!

You're right at the hardest part, both you and baby are learning how. It gets much much better.

Hey everyone. Just an update on breast feeding. I’m still not massively enjoying breastfeeding but I feel things are going much better then I thought. She was seen by midwive on day 5 and had lost 5.6% of her weight which midwives said was perfectly normal. I went to a 1:1 support session with breast feeding team and then had first Health visitor appointment. She had gained all her birth weight back plus an extra ounce. So she must be getting enough.

Like I said I’m still not sure how long I will manage but I’m going to try to go til at least 4-6 weeks then reevaluate. If it’s more positive I’ll continue to 3 months and just keep trying to set new goals.

I bought a hakaa but my lord it hurt my booby. Felt like a lot of pain for not even an ounce of milk. Might try again at some point. Or don’t know wether to take the plunge and by electric.

Great news OP that your little ones gained her birth weight back. Well done!

Are you feeling a bit happier in general?

Well done. The first 6 weeks are monumentally hard. It's a secret no one shares until you're in the midst of it all. But once you've got to 6 weeks it gets so much easier. Your supply will settle, their mouth gets bigger, both mum and baby have had practice etc etc.

Great job! That sounds like a really sensible plan. I've been very happy with my spectra s2 breast pump, it definitely saved me when one of my boobs got REALLY raw! I could never make the hakaa work!

@PinkPlantCase yes I do feel a little better. The night times are just so hard. Heading out to look a swaddle to try but I’m a bit nervous about putting her in a swaddle as she is so small. Can’t hurt just to look at them though x

@ExcitingTimes2021 the night times could be hard whether you b feed or not?!

I'm biased beacuse although hard, I enjoyed b feeding. I hope you can keep it up until you enjoy it. But if you are still finding it too hard, don't feel like you have to continue. There's no point doing it if you and baby arent getting much out of it. I just really liked the bond.

@ExcitingTimes2021 I don't think you need to buy a swaddle, you could just swaddle them in am ordinary blanket. That's what my friend did, she was in Oz and all women at the time were taught and advised to swaddle baby from newborn. It wasn't so long ago...about five years