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Original poster

Negligent nanny

80 replies

Eleosto · 03/08/2021 06:54

I would appreciate some thoughts from some mothers who have nannies.

I was in the park with my son. There was nanny in the park who left her 7 yr old and 4 yr old to play whilst she sat on a bench and was buried in her phone. I found this off but not the first time I have seen this.

The little girl started chatting to us and she was lovely with my son. My son (who is 2) ran off to another part of the park (which is quite big) and so she followed us. I had no problem chatting to her and we decided to pick some daisies and show my son dandylions. It was all very cute and innocent.

This went on for about an hour. Then the nanny obviously realised she could no longer she her charge and eventually found her. She told her off for “scaring” her and then accusingly told me she had never “done that before”, although not sure what she had done.

I do feel that it was negligent of the nanny not to have sight of her for that period of time. I could have been anyone and she wasn’t aware of who she was talking to or where she was going.

The little girl mentioned a few details about herself so I could find a way to let her parents know. My question is, if this was your child would you want to know? I am concerned but am sticking my nose in where it doesn’t belong?

OP posts:

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Marmitemarinaded · 03/08/2021 06:57

Yes I would want to know
But don’t go all in guns blazing
Carefully word

FreeBritnee · 03/08/2021 06:59

Yep I’d want to know.

bmxbmx · 03/08/2021 07:02

Yanbu I'm a nanny and I don't take my eyes of my charge for a second when we are out in public! Personal choice what you do with your own children but not with other peoples if you ask me!

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LizziesTwin · 03/08/2021 07:02

I had this and was very grateful to the other mothers who let me know. I asked our nanny what had happened and she said it was difficult to look after them both, I pointed out it would be more difficult to tell me my child had been run over & fired her. Gross negligence.

Foolsrule · 03/08/2021 07:23

I would def want to know and the nanny would be out on her ear. I’d expect a paid nanny to engage with my DC. She’s not a teenage babysitter!

Onestep2021 · 03/08/2021 07:47

That’s awful. Like you said, anything could have happened to that little girl and the nanny wouldn’t have noticed.
I’ve seen a nanny, for example, be sat near a child in a sandpit and be half on their phone, half watching. Whilst the nanny might have told parents she will always actively be involved/ not use phone etc it’s not negligent. But what you described is worrying. I can’t imagine any parent not wanting to know

NuffSaidSam · 03/08/2021 13:02

If the child was out of her sight for an hour I would definitely be informing the parents! That's terrible.

MayorGoodwaysChicken · 03/08/2021 13:05

Tell the parents. It’s up to them what they do with the information but imagine how you’d feel if you later found out something had happened when in her care? If it genuinely was an hour that the nanny didn’t lay her eyes on the child then that is absolutely terrifying. Do not think you’re overreacting-you’re not.

GettingItOutThere · 03/08/2021 13:27

oh my!! yes 100% !!

tred carefully but please tell their parents!

EssentialHummus · 03/08/2021 13:33

Yes. Just put it to the parents factually and let them draw their own conclusions.

There's one near me who is crap - just totally disinterested in the kids she cares for and may as well be on the tills at Tesco, always looking at her phone, always talking to the kids sharply. It's never bad enough for me to mention to the mum, but if it was my child with her I'd feel a bit sad for her.

MissyB1 · 03/08/2021 13:37

Hmmmm…. I’ve got an issue with your behaviour as well as the nanny’s. You knew who was in charge of that child but you let them go with you quite far away from their adult. You then spent an hour with that child knowing that the nanny couldn’t see them. The responsible thing to do would have been to say “no you can’t come this far away with me, let’s take you back to your grown up”
In a way you have wandered off with someone else’s child - that’s how it could be interpreted anyway.
The nanny was definitely out of order, but your actions were a bit odd too.

Disfordarkchocolate · 03/08/2021 13:38

Yes I'd want to know.

There was nothing accidentally about the child not being in her sight, she just wasn't watching her.

drpet49 · 03/08/2021 13:40

* This went on for about an hour. Then the nanny obviously realised she could no longer she her charge and eventually found her. She told her off for “scaring” her and then accusingly told me she had never “done that before”, although not sure what she had done.*

^How cruel to tell the child off when it was the Nanny’s fault.

cordiality · 03/08/2021 13:41

Yeah, I'm with Missy on this one. You should have told that child that she could not come with you, or at least that she should ask her caregiver first.
You had no right taking her to another part of the park with you, what were you thinking?! If I was the mother I'd be livid with both you and the nanny.

Orf1abc · 03/08/2021 13:42

Both of you were irresponsible. The nanny lost sight of the child for an hour. You let a child follow you away from their nanny and had them with you for an hour. What did you think you were doing? You're leaving yourself open to a great deal of trouble doing this.

MistyFrequencies · 03/08/2021 13:43

I agree with @MissyB1, why are you even taking the child out of view for that long without at least telling the Nanny? That's weird to me. But yes, 100% tell the parent. They need to know.

5475878237NC · 03/08/2021 13:48

Presumably the OP just ran after her own son who ran off and then the girl followed, OP didn't invite child to wander off.

Yes I'd want to know OP.

NuffSaidSam · 03/08/2021 14:08

'If I was the mother I'd be livid with both you and the nanny'.

That's ridiculous. The OP is not responsible for this child. I agree that the better thing to do would have been to take her back and speak to the nanny. But you can't be 'livid' with a stranger in the park because your unsupervised child followed her!

The OP actually kept her safe for an hour during which a lot, lot worse could have happened. And you'd be 'livid'? Do you have problems with anger?

imisscashmere · 03/08/2021 14:16

I see this quite a lot at our local playgrounds. A small child starts trying to play with my son (who is 18 months old so gives very little back) and no adult in sight. When I ask the child where their grown up is they tell me they are with their nanny and point vaguely off somewhere - rarely can I even spot the nanny!

I’m a bit that you managed to get enough info. out of the little girl to be able to identify and contact her parents, though…

SummerHouse · 03/08/2021 14:24

A child of that age should be within sight of who they are with. This is a little bit pied Piper. Not saying the nanny is blameless but I think you should have directed the child back. I would do this for anyone be they a parent or a nanny and I would hope someone would do the same for me.

NuffSaidSam · 03/08/2021 14:34

'rarely can I even spot the nanny!'

As long as the nanny can spot the child and the child knows where the nanny is it's fine. It's when the nanny can't spot the child that the problem arises!

'I’m a bit hmm that you managed to get enough info. out of the little girl to be able to identify and contact her parents, though…'

That is a bit weird.

Kolo · 03/08/2021 14:38

In that situation, if a 4yo had followed me and my child to another part of the playground where she couldn't be seen, and started telling me personal information, I would have taken the child straight back to their adult.

WildSwimming101 · 03/08/2021 14:43

@MissyB1

Hmmmm…. I’ve got an issue with your behaviour as well as the nanny’s. You knew who was in charge of that child but you let them go with you quite far away from their adult. You then spent an hour with that child knowing that the nanny couldn’t see them. The responsible thing to do would have been to say “no you can’t come this far away with me, let’s take you back to your grown up” In a way you have wandered off with someone else’s child - that’s how it could be interpreted anyway. The nanny was definitely out of order, but your actions were a bit odd too.

I was going to say the same thing.

Nanny should have been watching. But you also shouldn't let a child you don't know wonder off with you in a park "all so innocently" for an hour.

SparrowNest · 03/08/2021 14:55

The nanny sounds genuinely negligent and I think it would be reasonable to tell the parent, in a way it wouldn’t for pettier criticisms, but I agree with people saying that you taking her off without checking with her grown up wasn’t really on either.

Just to clarify, were you in another part of the park out of sight for an hour, or do you mean an hour from the little girl first interacting with you, with much of that in sight of the nanny?

AlmostSummer21 · 03/08/2021 15:00

This reply has been deleted

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