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Original poster

Why are bad kids favoured at school???

80 replies

MrsSnape · 26/11/2007 19:22

I'm so angry. My son has been bullied by a kid in his year for the past 2 years. He's the "most popular" kid in the class and his family are known trouble causers...hence when he does anything wrong the teachers are wary about approaching his mother.

Anyway, he doesn't only bully my son, he's been bullying another kid at the school for the past 2 years and has recently moved onto DS's friend (another quiet one) and started a fight with my DS on friday. Today he tried to trip DS up again and start another fight.

Yet, who is it that is always up in the achievement assemblys? Who is it that was chosen for the school council? who is it that always gets the best parts in the plays?

Probably sounds like sour grapes but why are these kinds of kids always favoured by the teachers when they make life hell for the quieter kids that DO behave??

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totaleclipse · 26/11/2007 19:24

What chance do they have when thier parents behave the same?

EmsMum · 26/11/2007 19:26

Um... I don't think those sort of kids are always favoured in most schools. Certainly not something I'm aware of.

I suppose trying to give a challenging child some responsibility might have some logic but it sounds like something is a bit out of whack in this case.

Original poster
MrsSnape · 26/11/2007 19:28

yeah fair enough they need to "encourage" them but IMO all they're doing is showing them that if you bully people and play up you get more for it.

They're also showing the "good" kids that you get nowhere in life by doing as you're told. My son for instance hasn't been told off once (teachers own words) since summer yet how many times has HE been in the achievement assembly? 0.

Compared to who has been up 3 times.

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pukkapatch · 26/11/2007 19:29

i would like to tknow the answer to this as well. happens in ds's class too.

Blandmum · 26/11/2007 19:29

I can understand your frustration, but I'm not sure it is going to help a child to change if they are characterised as 'bad'.

Their behaviour may very well be bad, but they are children who probably need quite a bit of help if they are to avoid ending up like their parents.

Teachers in general try not to 'favour' one child after another, but we are encouraged to 'catch them being good' to try to encourage that positive behaviour in them. I can see how this can be perceived from the outside, I really can.

While I have every sympathy for you are your children, isn't their overall life 'better' than that of these badly behaved children? School may well be the only place where their positive effeorts are noticed.

Greensleeves · 26/11/2007 19:31

"bad kids"?

grow up

Original poster
MrsSnape · 26/11/2007 19:32

It's not as if he has a bad life though, he's spoilt like mad. Has all the best clothes, all the newest computer games, £100's spent on him at christmas and birthdays...ok I know it's all material but it just seems to me that this kid has it made and all he does for it is make everyone elses life hell.

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Greensleeves · 26/11/2007 19:33

Yes, he has it made - because everyone knows a loving stable childhood is all about trainers and computer games

Listen to yourself!

ahundredtimes · 26/11/2007 19:34

I think MB's right. I know it might be hard to sit by and see the child who has been bullying your son being given an achievement certificate or whatever, but he probably needs it, I bet they are trying to encourage him to do well.

Have you spoken to his teacher about the bullying?

totaleclipse · 26/11/2007 19:34

Oh dear!

Original poster
MrsSnape · 26/11/2007 19:35

Greensleeves, you "Listen" to my son and his friends when they come home saying they want to move school because this kid is calling them every name under the son, hitting them and making their lives hell.

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Twiglett · 26/11/2007 19:35

check

Original poster
MrsSnape · 26/11/2007 19:36

oh, and one of the other kids that has been bullies by this one actually told the head mistress he wanted to kill himself rather than come back to school.

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Original poster
MrsSnape · 26/11/2007 19:37

ahundredtimes, yes I've been into the school too many times to remember, they tell me that this kid is "influenced" and just "Plays rough"....like the time he stabbed someone in the hand with a compass.

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pukkapatch · 26/11/2007 19:37

ds wants to know why he nevver gets a sticker for sitting quitly on the carpet, when the class bully gets one every single day for the same task.
he aslo doesnt bother telling the teacher when said child hss whacked him, or pushed him against the wall, or tripped him up or anything because he has figured out that it doesnt help.
greeny, bad kids may not exist, but bad parents do. and this childs mother is a much worse bully than the child is. and he iscopying her. i couldnt give a toss about her. but i do not want my child copying her behaviour. unfortunatly life is teaching him that it pays to behave badly.

ahundredtimes · 26/11/2007 19:38

HAVE YOU TALKED TO THE SCHOOL ABOUT THE BULLYING? WHAT DID THEY SAY?

Sorry for shouting.

ahundredtimes · 26/11/2007 19:38

Oh sorry. You answered. I was shouting.

Twiglett · 26/11/2007 19:39

What have you done over the last 2 years regarding the bullying?

I would suggest that you get bullying policy from school and see the headmaster with a diary of complaints. Every time there is an 'incident' see the headmaster and ask what is being done regarding bullying in school.

Desiderata · 26/11/2007 19:39

MrsSnape has raised a perfectly legitimate concern. I see no reason at all for the rudeness.

pukkapatch · 26/11/2007 19:39

o, and it is impossible to get an appointment to see the teacher, but this kids mother is in with the teacher practically every singel day.
to those of you who think bad kids dont exist. lets hope your dc never has to meet one.

Greensleeves · 26/11/2007 19:39

What do you think the solution to his "badness" is MrsSnape? Or do you just want troubled/difficult children removed, so that your child doesn't have to encounter them?

Your posts consist of irrational lashing-out whingeing. Not very constructive, is it?

Greensleeves · 26/11/2007 19:40

Oh thank goodness, here comes Desiderata to remind us all to mind our manners

pukkapatch · 26/11/2007 19:40

school bullying policy is a load of twonk written down on paper, but never applied properly.
if you are as big a bully as your child, youcan get away with murder.

Twiglett · 26/11/2007 19:40

well I am sure there is much about the child's background that is relevant to his position as a 'bully'. But he patently is also doing things right to be given positions of responsibility.

Your concern should be with the school's duty of care towards your son, not to the reasons behind the other child's behaviour

Original poster
MrsSnape · 26/11/2007 19:41

I've done that. I was told that my son has "the kind of personality" that attracts bullies and he was offered councelling. I said it was the other kid that needed something doing about him, not the victims of his behaviour and she said she was "dealing with it" but couldn't discuss it with me. Needless to say sod all got done.

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