@Theyarealltaken
My little girl arrived 4 weeks ago, she’s been a golden baby, really gave us an easy start. I was never a children loving person, for a really long time I thought I will not have children myself. As soon as I found out that I’m going to be a mum I knew that baby will not dominate my life and it didn’t ! Obviously the sleep is not the same and few other areas of life are restricted but I am still the same person (I was worried that I won’t be).
Sometimes I’m bit anxious that maybe I should be more of a brainwashed mum? I have no app that tracks every single feed and sleep times, I am not religiously counting wet and dirty nappies, I’m having a controversial glass or two of wine few times in a week and sometimes letting my baby cry for a bit longer because I want to finish making dinner, i’ve not read one book about mothering and basically I am just taking care of my child following my instinct and intuition. I love her very much but I know there is so much time for us to get to know each other and fulfil our hearts with many different feelings.
I think your post is really unpleasant to be honest. You said yourself you have a very easy baby - it seems strange that you are stereotyping mothers based on things which are far more to do with how challenging their babies are.
I am not a “brainwashed mum”. I had an app tracking how much they ate, how much I pumped, nappies and sleep. I read lots of books. We didn’t have anyone babysit until they were almost 2. They are almost 5 and until they started school last October every second of my life revolved around them and their needs.
But my twins had a scary entrance into the world, one almost died. We had two months in nicu where everything was tracked, especially for DT2 where his life depended on him getting enough milk. I had to track nappies otherwise I would forget when one had been changed and not know if they were unwell. They had undiagnosed allergies that caused awful symptoms. One had a very rare and dangerous illness, both were subsequently diagnosed with other disabilities. They didn’t sleep and still don’t much. They have a staggering list of needs and both receive the highest rate of DLA for care needs. I had to go to court to get them into the right specialist school which took over for a year of my life.
You’re laissez-faire attitude a) doesn’t make you a better person and b) only exists because you’re in a situation that allows it. I would hope that if your child was unwell or highly distressed you would do what needed doing. You’re just extremely fortunate that you haven’t needed to be “that kind of mother”. And rather than celebrating your good fortune, you’re here slagging off other mothers who are more full-on than you.
Sounds to me like defensiveness because you are actually concerned you’re not doing enough, otherwise why post this?
This post has actually really wound me up. Go and enjoy your healthy, happy baby and stop insulting and feeling superior to others who are just doing what they are most comfortable with.