Nanny vs nursery?

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My son is 18 months old and has a language and communication delay (no words) so our paediatrician has recommended starting him in a nursery for socialisation and with speech therapy, which we are doing. The problem is, the more I read about it, the more the evidence shows that having a nanny is better than nursery for under 2s.
We originally had a nanny for him at great expense but she wasn't great and it ended quite badly with her so I gave up my job in January when he was 1 to stay at home and care for him.
I'm so in two kinds about what the best thing is for him. Cost is not an issue for us but I just don't know whether to leave him in the nursery 5 mornings per week or to get a nanny 5 mornings per week. I really don't know what would be better for his development.
Has anyone else been in this situation before?

My son was speech delayed at around the same age and his speech therapist was very definite with me that one to one care was better than nursery. Like you, we struggled with finding a good nanny - we had two (not at the same time!) who were both pretty underwhelming. And then I ended up staying off work for various reasons, so DS has never been to nursery. He’s starting pre-school in September. His speech has come on brilliantly and I’ve no concerns about him going into that environment now.

Thanks @Rainallnight thanks really helpful. How often did you do speech therapy? Did you end up hiring a nanny in the end? What age did he start to communicate more?

I can't see how being in a busy nursery environment is going to help his speech more than good quality one-on-one interaction tbh.

But, it doesn't have to be one or the other. You can do a few days of nursery and the rest with a nanny. You also have the option of a childminder, which may offer the best of both worlds (depending on the individual childminder of course!).

I think maybe a combination of care would work well here - 1 or 2 days at a nursery and a nanny for the rest. That way you get the best of both worlds. It's hard to find a decent nanny (I'm a nanny and I've seen some horrific ones over the years!) did you use a nanny agency with your previous nanny? I would use one with a really good reputation and be very honest with them about what you want

The benefit of nursery is easy socialisation. Would you be going back to work? If not then there doesn’t seem to be much need for a nanny. You can do anything they can.

A baby doesn't need to go to nursery for socialisation (unless their parents/nanny are keeping them locked up in the house and nursery is the only alternative!).

You can give your baby/toddler the socialisation they need yourself. It's a falsehood that they need to spend hours in a room with large numbers of children the same age. They don't. They need high quality, varied social interaction.

I don't work but I have no idea about child psychology as a former management consultant and my husband is an investment banker so also has no clue so I wouldn't trust myself alone to improve his speech.
I really don't care how much we spend on this so if 1 on 1 is better we will go for that. A combination approach sounds like a good one

If you don’t work, there really is no need for a nanny. Have faith in yourself- go to toddler activities, sign him up to jo jingles or similar, play with him and chat to him all the time.

You can do this and you’d be so pleased after.

I think combination sounds like a good idea. Seeing other kids interact might encourage him to speak more.

I’ve had both - my older daughter went to nursery and we now have a nanny. Hands down good one to one care is best whether that’s from you or a nanny. Our nanny is great and I hear her chatting away all day to the toddler, who’s speech is ahead of where her sisters was at the same age.

Personally I would ask the paed exactly what benefit you are looking for from nursery. I would imagine the socialisation benefits would be greater from mixing with older children, so I childminder a few hours a week might be better. For the speech, 1:1 with you just chatting/singing songs/playing, with some specific activities suggested by the speech therapist. Honestly, it’s not rocket science don’t worry about not being up to it.

Can they really be that speech delayed at 18 months that they need to go to a nursery or have a nanny? My 14 month old doesn’t say anything, I thought that was perfectly normal and he passed recent development checks with flying colours.

From family and friends, I would say hardly any started talking at all until gone 2 years. Maybe the odd word before. Then from 2.5 years all seemed to be able to talk perfectly well in sentences etc. 18 months seems tiny

I would definitely go for the nanny. A good one will take him to baby groups/stay and plays and arrange play dates so there will be opportunity for socialisation, not that they 'need' it at that age but my son certainly enjoyed watching other children. Our nanny was brilliant, had good understanding of development, used signs with him (no delay but i'm a speech therapist and pro this anyway and it definitely helped him communicate). we found her and the subsequent one on childcare.co.uk and maybe we got lucky but they've both been amazing. I would have been happy with any we interviewed but chose someone I clicked with more htan the others.

Thanks so much that's really useful. Seems like the nanny or 1 on 1 is going to be better for him. I don't know anything about it child development but was told by our paediatrician that by 18 months they should be saying around 30 words regularly, and linking words together by age 2. The other option that has been raised by my husband is a specialist centre that does ABA therapy for 3 hours per day. The only thing is that it's a 30 minute drive away from us and it's 9-12 so I would basically be dropping him off at 9, waiting on a nearby cafe then picking him up at 12 which is fine but I mean, lucky I don't work 😂
Oh and I'm 6 months pregnant so want to get this all sorted and care in place before baby 2 comes!

If money was no object I'd have a 1-1 Nanny at my house until my child was 2.5 then I'd use a nursery for more socialising.

@Caspianberg I have no idea I'm just going by what I've been told by our paediatrician. He told us early intervention is key with speech delay so just trying to do the right thing. So hard!

@1940s thank you for the advice xxx

I am struggling to understand how 18 months old has been diagnosed with speech delay. Every child is different and develops at different pace. My 6 year old did not really talk much until 2 and 7 months. Now 6 and can't get her to be quite. She reads very well and writes really good.

Now, I will be more concerned with his understanding at this age and whether he plays with other kids.

With regards to nanny versus nursery. I will recommend a great nursery instead. However, get ready for a few sick days as he will pick up a lot of bugs. But this will only build his immune system.

All the best with second baby. Interesting have 2 under 2

Yeah I mean I have no idea this is my first child he isn't talking by 18 months the paediatrician said he should have 30 words so he is speech delayed 🤷‍♀️

We did this, a nanny until 2.5 and I felt much happier than my child's individual needs were catered to (sleep / food times / activities enjoyed) also as speech developed at 2.5 my child actually enjoyed socialising and mixing with other children. They mixed with other children with the nanny but the nursery bought out specific friendships. It was also so nice to be able to know my child could communicate effectively in a group setting

As others have said it doesn’t need to be one or the other. We had a full time nanny for DC1 but also sent them to nursery a few mornings a week from aged 2.5 and gradually built up to a few more days a week in the run up to school.

I work as nanny and have looked after many toddlers, lots of toddlers don't have anywhere near 30 words and still grow up to have no problems with speech.
I can really recommend a book called Baby talk by Sally Ward for ideas about helping to develop speech and language, what they should be doing at different ages and when to worry.
If you are at home, I don't think you need a nanny or a nursery, lots of reading, chatting, nursery rhymes is what you need.

f you don't need the childcare, I don't think you need a nanny. I agree with @Orchidflower1. A nanny isn't going to offer anything you can't give your son yourself. I'd sign him up for two half days a week at nursery and do lots of baby music and fun phonics classes with in the meantime. And I wouldn't be worrying about a speech delay at this age. Just have fun with him and things might sort themselves out.

Thanks all that's reassuring! Such a minefield isn't it. I really don't think I am qualified to develop a child's speech so will look into a combination of nursery and nanny

A nanny won't do anything different to what you can do yourself, honestly. If you can read books, sing, chat constantly then you are more than qualified to help your child at this age and stage.